How much choice do you give your primary aged children.

[BoKatan]

I'm curious about other people's opinions after a discussion I had a couple of days ago.

Picture the scene. There's an activity available for your primary aged child to go to that would have enormous benefits, physically, mentally, and socially.

You know that they will enjoy it when they get there because they have enjoyed similar activities in the past elsewhere. You also know that at least one of their friends will be there so they won't be alone.

However, because it's new, and therefore unknown, when you ask your child if they want to go, they say no.

Do you take them anyway with the agreement that they can stop if they hate it (the chances of which are low), or do you accept their initial reaction and not take them?

Encourage them to try it.
Let them withdraw if they really don't like it.

I'd totally take them anyway and say I promise you'll enjoy it and if you don't then we will come home.
My 6 year old sometimes says she doesn't want to take the dog for a walk with me but she can't stay home alone so she has to come. I believe in choices but only up to a certain level

"MondeoFan

I'd totally take them anyway and say I promise you'll enjoy it and if you don't then we will come home.
My 6 year old sometimes says she doesn't want to take the dog for a walk with me but she can't stay home alone so she has to come. I believe in choices but only up to a certain level"

It's interesting because I definitely fall into this category (and if I didn't then DD7 would probably never leave the house) but in my circle of Mum friends they mostly veer towards accepting the initial choice regardless.

I used to have a rule that any activities had to be tried twice and after that they could decide.
If they didn't want to continue (apart from swimming, that non negotiable 7ntil they could do 30m) then I'd let them.

And no choice to a daily dog walk either!

I would make them try twice then let them decide if they want to continue. My DC would never do anything otherwise!

A daily dog walk is no choice as it has to be done. Going to a activity I would let my child decide, if she doesn’t want to go she doesn’t want to go, it’s not a big deal.

They’ve got to try it here.

I would take them anyway & if they say they don't enjoy it fine.

I put both my children into Martial arts year before last, DS1 was 9 at the time & DS2 was 3. Neither wanted to go especially DS1. I said let's just try it as first sessions were free. Both absolutely loved it & they then ended up doing it twice a week which ended up being a PITA for me as their classes were one after the other so I was sat about for 2 hours twice a week 😂

I used to say to my reluctance DD, try it twice, then we can reconsider. She stuck with Brownies, guides, trampolining, wrestling (I know!), and indoor cycling. All much to her surprise 🤣

If it's safe give it a go. Young children change their minds easily especially if they have a friend there already. It's all peer development and learning from each other at the younger ages. If after repeated occasions it's not to their liking you will as parent know soon enough.

@MondeoFan

I'd totally take them anyway and say I promise you'll enjoy it and if you don't then we will come home. My 6 year old sometimes says she doesn't want to take the dog for a walk with me but she can't stay home alone so she has to come. I believe in choices but only up to a certain level

This. My children would basically be hermits if we asked them what they wanted. I tell them what we're doing and if they hate the activities I'll let them stop.

DH is more of the opinion that they should be asked, so he presents more things as optional than I do. I'm training him 😁