Does anyone here eat normally? (Without rules applied to food)

[Falafellygood]

And by normally, I mean without any rules or restrictions. Just eat whatever you want, start when you're hungry, finish when you're full.
Nothing about low carb, too much fruit, not allowed bread or pasta, chocolate=bad and salad=good, no intermittent fasting, etc.

This isn't a criticism or to be goady, just genuinely curious, because so many people (on here and IRL) seem to have such extreme rules about eating.

So I'm just curious who here eats by following their own hunger/fullness cues and cravings? Not applying moral values to food and everything can be enjoyed.

No sadly I have to calorie count to maintain a healthy weight. I wish I could eat intuitively and just follow hunger queues etc but i can't. I think I'd need some intense therapy to be able to achieve that but it isn't available on NHS/I can't afford it. If I let myself eat what I want, I would end up obese within months.

My eating is sadly linked inextricably to my emotions instead of just being able to see it as fuel for my body. It's very difficult to override that without professional help.

For myself, I have no ‘rules’ about food consciously - I only eat when I’m hungry and then I eat as much as I like of what I like.

But

I eat relatively healthily because I don’t crave a lot of processed food and if I buy it someone else will nearly always have eaten it before I get there! I could eat more fruit, and probably ought to up the veg a bit more but otherwise my default choices are not terrible.

If I put my week’s diet down on a weight loss board or whatever I fully expect it would get picked apart for fats/carbs/protein/lean meat etc and I’d feel demoralised. But as I don’t need to change my diet for weight loss purposes I’ve no need to analyse it too much.

Once you’ve let weight creep on it’s much, much harder and I really sympathise with people trying to lose it. If you like fizzy drinks, crisps, chocolate, burgers and chips you have a harder time than if you just don’t naturally choose those foods in the first place.

I was brought up with really good home cooking, nothing restricted but equally treats not bought in regularly. It was an unremarkable food environment, I guess - mum didn’t “diet” but didn’t serve herself the potatoes if she was watching her weight, but it wasn’t obvious. Dad loves to cook so we had good food of all cuisines but sausage, egg & chips was among them. Biscuits were in the house along with fruit but not chocolate on the regular. Squash not fizzy drinks - they were for occasions. We can all cook and did so from teens.

My DH is overweight and struggles. He makes poor food choices, or gets weirdly obsessive about what he ‘can’t’ eat with little basis in any rationale I can fathom. He craves much more processed stuff. His food environment growing up was his mum cooked a 2-week rota of plain food, shopping was strictly rationed, but treats every week without fail - there was the ‘regular’ Tesco shop and the ‘treats’ shop on a Friday for fizzy drinks, desserts etc. His dad was weight-and-fitness obsessed whereas his mum struggled with her weight and has a very sweet tooth. I guess it made it feast-or-famine in some way.

It’s easy not to have ‘rules’ if you’re brought up with the right rules but with no pressure. But that’s hard to do - and terrifically hard to undo if you weren’t.

I try hard not to judge people over food choices.

I think intuitive eating is fine IF you have developed healthy habits growing up - stop when you are full, don’t always expect pudding at the end of the meal, not snacking etc.

I think @minipie makes a good point. It’s easy for me to say yes, I eat what I want but quite often what I want is lots of veg or a nice fresh salad. Becoming vegetarian as a teen in the 90s, in a family of confirmed carnivores, meant I had to learn a bit about nutrition and cooking and I definitely developed my taste buds!

I know plenty of people who struggle with their weight because what they instinctively want is often the heavy meat and potato/something in breadcrumbs/large portions they were brought up with. It’s not surprising that lots of people need to restrict their diet and ignore their “instinct” for weight and health reasons.

That said I do see @Falafellygood point about the strict rules around food aired by some posters and there’s a real orthorexia vibe on many of the food discussions here. I’ve been reading some comments over the years - posters declaring fruit sugar bombs or arguing that carrots should be replaced by something else as they’re too high in sugar. The obsession with calories while ignoring nutrients is just weird and I wonder what some posters are teaching their dc given the views they air .

But if food is a certain time and I'm suddenly hungry 20 minutes before, I don't see anything wrong with grabbing an apple or a biscuit to tide me over.
If I was hungry 20 minutes before a meal I wouldn't eat an apple or a biscuit. I would just wait for the meal. It's ok to feel hungry for 20 minutes.

I have been eating what I want, when I want over the last 12 months or so (although being mindful or not over consuming sweet treats) and trying not to consume large portions.

I have crept on the weight slowly and I am now a little over weight and not body confident. I am a size 10 but short so I've gained weight around my belly and thighs.

I was just saying to my partner how I want to lose weight partic as the weather improves but I just cba, I groan at the thought but at the same time I dont want to feel insecure in my clothes!

Yes I did and now I’m obese now I watch what I eat and I’ve now lost a stone still 4 more to go though as I ate what I wanted without care for 6 years

You might be able to eat whatever you want and stay slim (as you happen to not want much) but others can't.

I've been in the endless diet cycle since my teens and I averaged being a 16 for years. I was bloody miserable because society dictation only slim was acceptable. So no, I haven't always been this way. I've also been on the other side. I'm finally at a place where I'm happy. This isn't coming from a judgmental place at all, more awareness of how fucked up society can be regarding weight/food/diet and it needs to change.

@JMAngel1

I think this post needs to ask for a size too otherwise there isn't a point of reference to the replies. Eating responsibly is a social responsibility.

This is really dangerous thinking.

Without bodily autonomy, what rights do we have?

OP I think the world in general is a bit crazy about food. MN in particular. In spite of whatever today's 80+ ate, we are all living far too long.

I don’t really have ‘rules’ I just understand that 6 packs of bacon a day probably isn’t good for me.

But I was brought up in food that was cooked from scratch, using real ingredients packed with greens, beans, fruit and meat.

We rarely, rarely had anything like a frozen pizza, chicken nuggets.. anything beige.

I’ve never liked beige food it makes me feel crap and just doesn’t taste nice. Probably because I’ve been brought up not eating it.

So my diet is mainly fruit and vegetables anyway, I bloody love cheese and wine nights though.

Breakfast dinner tea
Snacks if your peckish
Eat what I cook or make your own
Some things like lasagne my youngest hates so I cook something else for them on that day.
I hate the obsession of I cook you eat , even if it’s nasty (grew up with that). In the 80’s Tesco had a massive tub of their own label margarine which absolutely stank and we’d have to have toast in Sunday’s and it was smothered in this vile margarine

@Falafellygood

You might be able to eat whatever you want and stay slim (as you happen to not want much) but others can't.

I've been in the endless diet cycle since my teens and I averaged being a 16 for years. I was bloody miserable because society dictation only slim was acceptable. So no, I haven't always been this way. I've also been on the other side. I'm finally at a place where I'm happy. This isn't coming from a judgmental place at all, more awareness of how fucked up society can be regarding weight/food/diet and it needs to change.

X post I'm glad you're happy

I am too but I need to spend less time on MN 😂

I eat pretty much whatever I want when I want but I try to stop when I feel a bit full. I used to binge eat so this can be difficult at times as I could just eat and eat and eat.
Yesterday was a typical of day of eating for me:
Breakfast - Greek yogurt & strawberries
Lunch - Greek salad
Dinner - salmon, veg & roast potatoes with trifle for dessert
Snacks - bar of chocolate & bag of crisps. Oh and an apple.

I’m probably a stone overweight for my height but I don’t really care. I’ve done very restrictive diets before and my mood has plummeted

I try and guide my daughter to eat when she’s hungry and stop when she’s full and whilst she has a lot of things she doesn’t like, she’s a healthy eater. Her dad eats to the clock and makes all sorts of ‘healthy’ concoctions which upset his stomach, and he won’t be told. He’s fussy. Extremely fussy.

Whereas I’m sadly unable just to eat what I want. I’m Diabetic so have to follow a low-carb diet for medical reasons. Sadly low carb is often seen as some ‘fad’ but actually it’s keeping a lot of us very healthy!!

I eat what I want. I love carbs and could never restrict myself. Unfortunately, up until a year a go I did a lot of exercise so could eat what I want and maintained my weight around 8 and a half to 9 stone. In the last year I've done very little exercise and my weight has crept up to just over 10 stone now. I need to either start restricting myself or give myself a kick up the backside and get out exercising again.

I've been in the endless diet cycle since my teens and I averaged being a 16 for years. I was bloody miserable because society dictation only slim was acceptable. So no, I haven't always been this way. I've also been on the other side. I'm finally at a place where I'm happy. This isn't coming from a judgmental place at all, more awareness of how fucked up society can be regarding weight/food/diet and it needs to change.

I am totally with you that the judgement, fat shaming, etc needs to end. We just need to get over that as a society. In fact get over all judgement about looks. But that's a different issue to diets and I don't think the solution to this is "everyone should eat what they want". Many people would be 1000lbs and unable to walk.

I used to and was obese so I have changed how I eat. I eat when I’m hungry rather than at set times and I half the portion of what I would typically eat to see if it satisfies me rather than eating until I’m full. I still have chocolate if craving it but limit portion. Still eat carbs and protein but try to make sure I have veg with each meal. I’m never without energy. So far lost several stones and am now overweight rather than obese although weight loss is slowing as expected. Will take a while to get to healthy weight but hopefully will manage it this year.

I have a running conversation with dh where I say I eat to survive, not to have an experience.

By that I mean, he's a foodie and enjoys the experience of eating nice food, and gets annoyed if a meal isn't amazing each time.

I eat generally because I'm hungry (and sometimes when I'm bored)

I do eat comfort food, but for me that will be a slab of butter on a slice of bread, not a 4 course meal.

I don't think anyone is moving as much as they should be since Covid so having to make time to exercise is new for me. I don't usually 'go for walks', but would walk to the train station, up a couple of flights of stairs at work and buzzing from one meeting room to another a few days a week.

I've always been skinny as has mum and now my son. We can all eat what we want really. The only restrictions I have are to try to buy healthy food mostly and so not buy packets of biscuits all the time as I wouldn't eat one I'd eat them all. Not because I'm worried about the impact on my weight but because it wouldn't be healthy so I try to avoid it despite my sweet tooth.

Sort of things I eat:
Breakfast - bowl of porridge with banana other fruit, nuts, seeds and spices
Lunch - prawn salad with mayo and two slices wholemeal toast or couple of poached eggs on toast
Snacks - fruit pot and or apple
Dinner - pork chop/chicken thigh (fat/skin on), rice/potatoes and two or three veg

I also think it depends if you’re dieting to look thinner (been there and it isn’t really a great motivator for me) or trying to form a healthy relationship with food so you are a healthy weight with a balance of muscle, fat and protein (this works much better for me as it is a longer term benefit).

If I was hungry 20 minutes before a meal I wouldn't eat an apple or a biscuit. I would just wait for the meal. It's ok to feel hungry for 20 minutes.

I would do the same and agree, being hungry for 20 minutes won't do you any harm.

Me. Eat what I want when I want. I actually don't tend to eat a lot in general though I probably average about 1200-1400 calories on average. Some days less some more if I have a takeaway for instance. I eat quite a lot of rubbish too many crisps and sometimes too many sweets too. I don't have huge meals but snack a lot. Often don't have breakfast.

Everyone always goes on about how lucky I am. I suppose I am, if I had a bigger appetite I'd probably be fat as I don't have the will power to diet.

I eat to hunger and stop when I no longer feel hungry rather than when I'm full. But I track it over the week. These days it's so easy to consume too many calories and gain weight, especially when you're nearing the 50s. Planning meals in advance helps.

I eat whatever I want but in moderation. Friday night takeaway I will eat half a portion, bacon sandwich again a half portion. I don’t leave out anything I fancy just have enough to make me happy. Always been between an 8 and a10. I don’t like feeling full.

I used too. I have a feeding tube now. So barely eat anything orally as I’m medically unable too. But when I could eat. I ate tons of crap. I’ve been a size 4-8 my whole life. Even now

Yes. That's why I need to diet