I would appreciate some opinions on the below, please.
I realise we are very fortunate and have not (yet) been impacted financially by Covid.
The way DH and I have always organised our finances is that everything goes into the joint account and then all joint expenses come out, savings go out and then we each have our own allowance paid into our sole accounts.
The rule has always been we can do what we want with our allowance.
DH gets more allowance than me. Always has done. It started off that he got more because he spends more commuting and on lunches etc and this was fine pre Covid. He now works from home.
However, he often says he needs more money because an additional expense has come up that he has not budgeted for- professional body fees, a new suit, he is waiting for expenses to be repaid (he is useless at putting in his expenses claims in a timely manner). I deal with our finances and so it annoys me because the money in our joint account is usually earmarked for something else. He is also quite useless at remembering to use the joint account for joint expenses and so he does end up spending his allowance on top up food shops and things like a new tyre and so it probably does all even out. I think I am a bit of a control freak with money.
He hasn't asked for extra money this year but he hasn't gone anywhere or done anything and so I imagine he must have quite a pot saved up.
We are just about to complete on a house move and have taken out an offset mortgage. DH has suggested that we "empty out our pockets" and put all spare money into the offset - it makes sense.
However, I have always kept a little pot of money - not secret as he knows about the account but I never include what is in there on our money spreadsheet. I assume he does the same as he receives way more in his allowance than he (should?) need.
Because I have not been anywhere or done anything my pot is almost £5k - it is usually around £1k and I use it for things like hen weekends/ DH's birthday and Christmas presents etc. It has all been saved from my allowance.
I had decided that I was going to save up for a special holiday for DH's next big birthday (5yrs away!) and add £50 a month to the additional £4k to have enough put by that it isn't coming from family money.
But now I feel bad. It makes complete sense to put all our savings against the offset but I know if I tell DH about the holiday he would refuse to pay that much for it and we will end up not going at all/ doing something half hearted. Plus it would spoil the surprise.
I also want to keep the £1k back as I hope that I will be able to have a weekend away with friends in the next year (we usually go away anyway but this year we have decided we will do something more special as we have not seen each other all year) and I know if I have to ask him for the money/ tell him I am taking it out of the offset savings he will not be happy (we are talking about a spa weekend at a fancy hotel, it will be over £500). I am also going to need some new clothes once lockdown is over and it is not socially acceptable to wear leggings and joggers to work 
This is the reason for the separate accounts, so I don't need to run these purchases by him!
Aargh. I don't know what to do. I feel completely unreasonable as I would be upset if he withheld money from me. I asked how much he had squirrelled away and he said he didn't know (entirely believable, he never checks his account). Should I wait to see what he admits to then perhaps give some of my pot too? Keep it all?