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Advice on living with someone after living alone?

4 replies

littlepieces · 27/02/2021 02:06

I lived alone for four years in my 20s and got quite comfortable, I loved it. But I reluctantly had to move back into a houseshare a few years ago because I got made redundant and ended up taking a job in London. Although I got on with my housemates, I hated living in a shared house, it caused me so much anxiety. I was just desperate to live alone again. Six months ago I moved in with DP which I thought I'd be OK with, but I'm really struggling to get used to living with someone else again. We've been together for 2.5 years and get on really well, usually have a lot of fun together.

Hes a very kind, caring, considerate man. But I can't help getting annoyed at him all the time for invading my space (which to him, and probably most people, is just normal interaction with his partner he lives with!). He always interrupts me when I'm in the middle of something like reading or listening to a podcast, doing yoga or watching something, and I have to stop what I'm doing. I'm now on edge every time I go to do something, worried that I'm going to get interrupted at any moment, and that I won't get to do the things I'd like to. Obviously it's tricky anyway at the moment being with someone 24/7 in a cramped flat.

Anyone else have the same issue? Any advice?

OP posts:
Justa47 · 27/02/2021 03:32

@littlepieces

Talk to him about when you are busy.

IdblowJonSnow · 27/02/2021 03:47

You need to explain very clearly how much this is bothering you. Is he insensitive? I'm surprised that he can't tell how you're feeling.

He needs to respect you and your space.

littlepieces · 27/02/2021 09:52

He's not insensitive.. although I do tell him that im having some me time, and about 30 mins later he will walk in wanting to talk about something. I want a few hours alone, undisturbed, but he doesn't seem to remember or get it. I've been thinking it's more my problem though, I shouldn't get annoyed when someone I live with and am in a relationship with wants to talk to me!

OP posts:
Wishihadanalgorithm · 27/02/2021 11:26

How much time do you want/need alone every day? If it is three hours, then that’s quite a lot of time in the house to be expected not to be spoken to. If it is 2 lots of half hours then that’s fine.

I think once we get out of lockdown it might be better for you as you can go to the gym for yoga and get your alone space.

I think you are probably very used to you pleasing yourself and living together especially under lockdown seems very hard.

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