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Anyone else just not fit in?

26 replies

Sunnyrainydays · 26/02/2021 23:45

Hello, sorry for the odd title, was trying hard to think of one that adequately summarised my post....

I'm in my late 30s, it's been said to me several times that I could be on the autistic spectrum and that apparently I have a lot of Aspergers type traits. I can see this myself in a lot of ways. I've. It had a formal diagnosis as yet but I think I shall visit my GP to see what they say.
I don't feel that autism is my only 'problem' though. I've always felt odd and different throughout my life and I've always had this weird thing happen to me and I want to see if anyone here can identify and reassure me that I'm not actually losing my mind!! When I'm talking to someone they almost always have a startled or alarmed look on their face and look at me as if I have grown an extra head and quickly look away to avoid my eyes. I'm aware I have quite intense and piercing blue eyes anyway but I'm not sure if I inadvertently do something weird with my eyes or face while I'm speaking to them. It can be as simple as purchasing a stamp from the post office, for example. I'm always kind and polite and smile and have no problems with small talk and am not shy with strangers at all. It's just that I must have strange eye contact !
Has anyone else experienced something like this?
Also, does anyone else have Aspergers ?
I've felt like a square peg in a round hole for as long as I can remember and it's upsetting me.

OP posts:
Sunnyrainydays · 01/03/2021 19:25

It's nice to fit in, even in a virtual sense !
Not to drip feed but I was brought up by a sometimes difficult father who could be quite bullying in an emotional sense. Would put me down, ridicule me in front of others, be spiteful towards me at times(although he wasn't always like this and did have his positive traits). I think this has led to me becoming the way I am today. I maybe overdo the eye contact or not do it properly as I struggle with self-image and self-esteem.

OP posts:
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