Childhood injustices you can't forget

[TheScurrilousFunge]

Please tell me about your childhood injustices.

I was just reminded of one by something on the TV - I found my classmate's bag strap behind a loo at school. It had clearly been hidden there, but not by me - and yet, I got the blame for it! It rankles TO THIS DAY.

Tell me I'm not alone in not letting this stuff go!

@Nannewnannew

Not sure this is exactly an injustice but it still hurts to this day. Some nights I wet the bed and this went on until I was about 7. My mother used to get really annoyed as the sheets were cotton, and we obviously didn’t have a tumble dryer, so in her frustration she used to rub my face with the urine soaked sheet. This was her theory to try and cure the bed wetting. The fear in the mornings when I realised the bed was wet was awful.

So sad to read this as I experienced similar. I had a urine infection (discovered after the event) and also a huge fear of toilets outside of home. I was wetting the bed because of afore mentioned infection and still wetting self on odd occasion on return home from school as was terrified to use the loo at school. My mother rubbed my nose into my wet knickers while shouting at me. They were white knickers with red poker dots, funny what you remember. I was about 6 or 7. A very anxious child. Strangely, this nose rubbing didn’t cure my infection or toilet phobia, I just wouldn’t drink during the day.

I was just thinking about this one the other day. It still makes me sad...

I was a child who NEVER excelled at anything, never won any prizes, never got any special praise, not talented at sports, bright but not bright enough to stand out (selective school), low self esteem and full of self doubt.
There was a girl in my year who was a natural all-rounder, always won prizes (multiple) at Prizegiving, on all the sports teams, always being picked out for praise and commendations.

The school held a poetry competition. I made it through to the last two and really, really thought that just this once it might be me! The head judge was our English teacher. She made a big speech in assembly, saying how difficult it had been to choose a winner as both poems had been excellent, in fact impossible to pick one... except of course there could only be one winner... and so they had chosen... yep... the other girl who always won everything.

I know it's pathetic to still dwell on it more than 30 years later, but it would have made such a difference to me to have won that one little thing! To have actually been good at something. The other girl didn't give a damn about winning (she won everything!) but it would have meant the world to me. I'm sure the teachers could have figured that out too if they had actually cared.

@Goldensyrupissticky

to you too. That's awful.

It's awful when we think back to the shitty teachers of decades gone by and then realise as we deal with the shit our own children have to deal with, that nothing has changed. It's crazy. My son will be at his primary for another 4 years and I have to see his ex-reception teacher all the time and I can't even look at her without having to hide my scowl and hatred of her (though I am ever so polite and it kills me when I just want to give her what for!).

I despise that girl. I hope that when she grows up and has kids of her own she realises how badly she treated some of her pupils that she didn't like for no good reason at all.

@ElDanglio, sorry but I'm laughing at the thought of your grandma going behind your sofa to draw Teddy bears......worth a smack on the legs 🤣🤣

Too numerous to mention. I am the youngest of seven children and I suffered for it growing up. Cast-off clothes, 'not old enough for...', 'it's a bit too good for you', 'I know but you're the youngest, so...'. Flawed logic at its best, or worst, depending on your point of view. My Mum was still second-guessing me and doubting or questioning me when I was long into adulthood.

@haggisandmarsbar

I'm working on my MSc today, so far I have been out doing some gardening, done the washing up, put the laundry on, made 3 paltry pages of notes and had a cup of tea.

I can't do the MSc because all that is in my head is how I don't belong on an MSc as I never did well at school, failed most of my exams and wasn't clever enough fo 6th form or FE college so went on the dole.

The teachers knew it was a waste of time trying to teach me as I wasn't clever enough. That was at a secondary modern which I was sent to because the selective prep school my parents chose for me told them I wasn't clever enough to go on to the senior school and I had to leave. I'm on the verge of proving them right and quitting because who the hell am I to think I was capable, I'm starting to realise how right they were because my English is terrible, I can't even join in the debates on MN because I read them and everybody is so clever and I couldn't write messages like that.

You can do it @haggisandmarsbar I believe in you.

Break it down into small chunks, work for 15mins, then have a five minute break. You've got this.

Whenever I had friends over to play, if we had a squabble my Mum would ALWAYS take their side over mine. Even if they were being awful, spiteful and were completely in the wrong. I spoke to her about it since being an adult and she said she didn't want me to grow up being a spoilt only child. All it did was make me constantly doubt myself and my own judgement of situations. Even as an adult I often needs to get other people's opinions on situations to "check" if I'm right or wrong. I struggle to trust my own judgement.

@Nannewnannew

Not sure this is exactly an injustice but it still hurts to this day. Some nights I wet the bed and this went on until I was about 7. My mother used to get really annoyed as the sheets were cotton, and we obviously didn’t have a tumble dryer, so in her frustration she used to rub my face with the urine soaked sheet. This was her theory to try and cure the bed wetting. The fear in the mornings when I realised the bed was wet was awful.

That's is awful @Nannewnannew I'm sorry you went through that. Our son is seven and wets the bed, he goes through spells of being dry and then wetting every night, it is frustrating but we just give him a cuddle and sort him and his bed out.

The doctor has said he will grow out of it eventually.

In infant school, one of the mums came in to teach us cross stitch. One or two of us went out of the class at a time to sit with Mrs Gardener and stitch a picture. This was over the course of a few weeks. I noticed my classmates leaving but I didn't seem to get a turn....

After patiently waiting I was finally chosen! Hooray!! I went with Mrs Gardener and chose to stitch a penguin. I carefully listened to her instructions, stitched a neat line of black crosses then was sent back into class. I couldn't wait to go and finish it.

Except I never did. I think I was eventually presented with "my" cross stitched penguin but I was so sad that I hadn't actually done it at all.

Retrospectively I'm not sure how much my classmates had done of their pictures either but at the time it certainly felt like I'd been forgotten and so Mrs Gardener had done the picture for me.

Father Christmas ran out of gifts at a town hall party once. I couldn’t believe it when he just got up and said “that’s all kids, all gone!” And left!

When I was 7 I was playing with my friend.

Her little brother was out (we were on their back patio). He was 2 or 3. He was riding a truck thing. Me and my friend were pulling him along and he was loving it.

SHE then TOLD me to pull him faster. Faster, faster, faster she was saying. Now I don't have a younger sibling so I don't have an inkling this might not be a good idea. He fell off. Cut head. Everyone was upset. I leave.

I go to a friends and then boys mum turns up and shouts at me from the bottom of the stairs giving me a right telling me off.

I feel like telling her it was his sister egging me on. I literally would not have gone faster if she hadn't told me to! I don't say anything because I am 7.

Recently I was talking to DM and to my joy she was telling me how she never said judgey neighbour.

Disclaimer- of course I do feel bad that he fell off.

Liked not said

@StringyPotatoes I hated it when they did that to us in art classes! Finishing our work so we had something to take home to parents. What are you teaching kids?! 😂

Whole class detention without any prior notice because a couple of boys had been cheeky. The teacher acknowledged this but did not give a shit. Being slapped, hard by a teacher because I had taken too long to get changed after PE (I was always last). Being punished for treading on a ping pong ball. It wasn't me it was the girl in front of me but it was an accident as the players hit the ball too hard and it landed on the floor straight in our path .Some little bastard told the teacher it was me and I had to sit on my own and miss out on the fun. The girl who did stand on the ball later admitted it was her and I was allowed back. I was absolutely fuming inside and refused point blank to speak to the teacher again.

It was in an art lesson. Somebody had dropped some rubbish near my chair. The teacher was annoyed and stopped the lesson, told everyone to stop working until the culprit came forward. I wanted to get on with my work so reached to pick it up and was told off because apparently I shouldn't have to clear up other people's messes. Which might well be true but we were wasting lesson time and sometimes in life you just have to fix something for everyone's sake even if it wasn't your fault. I was really humiliated about being called out like that when I was only trying to help.

@PhylisNightsIsAwesome Thank you for your kind words and flowers, it means a lot.

@2020nymph Thank you also for your kind message. I’m sorry your son is going through this, but as your GP said, he will grow out of it. Things have moved on a lot since I was a child and you’re doing absolutely the right thing, your son is fortunate to have such understanding parents.

I was in the choir at school and we were performing The Messiah. I was yelled at for talking when I hadn’t said a word. Bitch nun!

In primary school, 1950s, all lining up in silence in the classroom to go into the hall for assembly. One girl was talking, so our teacher walked up the line, and slapped the leg of every child one after another! It happened more than once too.

In middle school, five of us would eat lunch together. The dining room system was a year group would get let in and you’d circle the table until a seat was free then you’d sit. One time we were sitting on adjoining tables when we spotted a table for four empty so we went over to sit together. As there were five of us, two of us shared a seat. It was getting to end of lunch so we hadn’t nabbed a table off others. We were also ‘good studious girls’, not trouble-makers.

For some reason a teacher who was known to be aggressive objected to us moving, no rule not to move. He came over and shouted at us. Our punishment for sharing a seat was that the five of us needed to sit separately the NEXT day.

We were mortified. We hadn’t thought we’d done anything bad. The next day, we were the last sitting, we went in and all sat separately and were miserable. As we entered the hall, evil teacher was leaving, he didn’t come back to check we had done as we were told.

The following day, two other girls joined us and we had a pleasant lunch sat at a large table together which was empty as we came in....Then evil teacher entered the hall, spotted us together, came over and screamed at us. We were shocked as we had done as he’d asked. New punishment was for all 7 of us to sit separately for a week.

Still irritates me, we had followed his punishment and then he changed his mind. Nasty petty man.

New at my primary school it transpired there was to be a talent show concert and I was desperate to play the piano. I was quite good. They gave me a special audition and then told me I hadn't made the cut. There were kids playing musical instruments in that show who were absolutely shit compared to me and to this day I'm angry and bewildered at their decision.

When I was 10 the year bully passed me a note in class. I pushed it away as I was listening to the teacher. He noticed and demanded to know what we were doing. He then announced we both deserved a good whacking for our naughtiness. We were made to stand in front of the class and bend over to be smacked on the bottom. I went home in floods of tears.

A few years later I met up with someone else who had been in my class that day. She mentioned the incident and how all the girls in the class refused to speak to him afterwards. I had felt aggrieved for years over what had happened and it did make me in a small way feel better.

When we were kids my parents would leave my sister and I a list of chores (walk dog, shopping) in the holidays whilst they were at work. One day i walked the dog, my sister went to the shop. And didn't come back. It transpired that whilst at the shop she bad been caught shoplifting. My parents and the police were called. I was left to worry as had no idea what had happened.

When everyone finally got home I was read the riot act for letting my little sister go to the shop on her own and not watching her and stopping her from stealing. It was all my fault etc and I was grounded for 2 weeks. She wasn't as it had all been so scary for her . I was 11 and she was 10.

A lot of our childhood was like this and as a result as an adult I am always certain i will be accidentally doing something wrong.

Just mentioned this thread to dh and he came up with when he got the lead in the school play at primary school. Except the Pil didn’t go because it was mil’s work dinner dance.

I'm dyslexic and have arthritis.

I didn't have arthritis as a child but had sprained my wrist.

I sat my end of year exams writing with my left hand (I'm right handed), the physics teacher knocked 30% of for bad handwriting.

My English teacher (who also assaulted me) wrote in my report that there was no such thing as dyslexia. He was foul man who should not have been let within a mile of girls (girls' school).

I remember before I was in his class for some reason a few of us had to go into his class for one lesson. The class had been reading, 'Walkabout' so foul teacher decides to bring us up to date on the story, most of the updating is telling us how one of the main characters, a teenage girl, removes her knickers to give to an aboriginal boy who is naked. He was clearly getting off on this idea and the class being made uncomfortable.

He managed to do this kind of thing in most lessons.

@haggisandmarsbar

Don't let the buggers win... You can do your MSC. Like previous poster above, break it down into bite sized chunks and finish it. You are worth it.