Elderly relative having hallucinations

[Fuckadoodledoooo]

They have been having them for quite a while. They keep phoning to ask if I dropped my children there as they keep seeing them in the house.

They say when they try to speak to them, they disappear.

They have spoken to their GP several times who keeps telling them it's stress and to go for more walks to relax.

It's not stress. I work with dementia patients. It could be anything from an infection to the start of mental decline (they are 85 and live alone).

But because the GP has said it's stress several times, they are now leaving it.

I live a long way from them so there is little I can do.

I'm so upset over it.

(Before anyone say it, I am loathe to call their GP myself as I had to take action against that particular GP 20 years ago myself as they wouldn't refer me for something that turned out to be cancer - saying it was mental illness instead. I had to get a private diagnosis. This GP still tells my relative that I am wrong and that they shouldn't listen to me - their cancer was dismissed as well by this practice, they saw 3 GPs there who dismissed them, I paid for a private consultation and they were diagnosed. But still, my relative thinks these GPs at the practice are all knowing).

This shouldn't be ignored.

Sorry so many typos I'm in tears. I'm 40 and I just want to live my own life.

So why don't you tell him that he can't live with you and you've had enough of his lies and emotional manipulation???

Have you tread up about FOG Fear Obligation Guilt?

You don't actually owe your parents everything.

Reclaim your life.

You are letting him rule your life, you have the power to change this. Stop playing his game.

Guilt. He'd ramp thing up. He wouldn't let it lie.

Block him.

He has trained you up. Step away.

It's easier said than done. He's my only family other than my kids. My mum died when I was a child. There is no one else.

You have two choices

1. Let him dominate you and quite possibly ruin your DC loves by putting them same FOG onto them.

1. See him for the selfish manipulator he is and step away and stop playing the game. Phone him once per week and stop trying to solve his non-existence problems.

I've done number two for the past year.

It's ended in this.

Hi OP. I am so sorry you are going through this. My mother wasn't as bad as this, but she was always complaining about something or other, luckily I have a sister and we could compare notes, if we got the GP involved, or tried some practical solution, it never happened. There was often a plausible explanation, or we caught her out in a lie.

It got to the point that my DH was fed up of me stressing about 'the problem' or lack of working solution. I took a step back for a while, she still had all the 'problems' but instead of trying to solve them, I just asked her what she wanted me to do, she could never really answer me. Effectively we stopped fuelling her, although it didn't stop as such, I was less concerned as she never told me what she wanted to do.

Well yes just carry on phoning but this time don't get involved - he's played you like a fiddle because you fell for his manipulation.

The answer isn't him living with you but moving into sheltered accommodation or a nursing home. Keep ringing up social services and let them deal with him or sell his house and put somewhere close to you if that's easier for you.

OP, I do get he’s you’re only family. But... he’s awful to you. Re-read the desperation in your posts, his “it’s stress” line and “the doctor says it’s your fault” line. He’s not being “a little manipulative” he’s ruining your life.
It sounds like he is capable of making his own decisions as to whether to move into sheltered housing or whatever. Don’t do it for him (it’ll be a stick to beat you with).