Feeling completely washed up career wise late 40s

[Mapletreelane]

Hey! Has this impacted anyone else? Or have you come out the other side with a positive story?

Was pretty career orientated in my 20s. Took a step back last 15 years and worked part-time. Loved my job and work life balance. Always had really flexible and supportive bosses and felt I didn't miss out on much with the kids, so absolutely no regrets.

However, looks like my job will be redundant in near future. Been sounding out other jobs but just realised I am so out of date.

World has moved on in last 15 years and so many new skills needed for a digital world. I have been really left behind. WTF is open source?! I don't have a profession perse, but do have expertise in a particular field. But quite specialised so jobs aren't plentiful. They are there but would mean a commute.

Not even sure I would interview well anymore, was so confident in my 20s, my role then involved presenting to clients to win huge contracts, but am nowhere near that level now. Everyone seems so much younger with different skills and I just don't feel relevant. I feel like a dinosaur.

Having a mooch round the job market I've seen former peers in super high powered positions. Again feel so inadequate and left behind.

I guess I have to make the decision now, do I get a nice part-time job at the local garden centre? Or do I push myself, go full time and have a new go at a career. But then I have hardly any work stress in my life at the moment and not sure I want to add any.

I am on a pretty decent salary so we do need my income.

Really really stuck and the lack of confidence is not helping, so would love to hear your experiences and advice . Thank you x

Are there jobs internally you could apply for that might only be a sideways move but would increase your skills? I've been feeling the same, been in my job for 10 years, not management but specific skill set which is likely to be hit by redundancies this year. I've applied for two jobs in my company that will hopefully make me a lot more employable if the whole company goes tits up because the technical skills would transfer to a lot more sectors.

If job is stress free, do you have spare time to do a course learning whatever new skill you think would be beneficial? I looked at the loads of free courses around but my job is mentally busy with Brexit so don't have time to think about training at the moment!

@CatNamedEaster thanks, i would definitely apply for any internal vacancies I think i could do. Issue is when they do come up I always think i don't have the skills for them. We do have free courses at work and you're right, I should find some time to do them. I'm just making excuses really! Good luck with your role and your future.

It's counter-intuitive but I've come to the conclusion that staying in one job and becoming an expert at it has actually made me lose so much confidence! I spoke to some colleagues about how I was feeling and their view of me really shocked me, pointing out all the things I am good at whereas I only focused on mistakes I make or thinking I'm not good enough to progress.

I'm terrified at the prospect of moving to another team or company but I'm a similar age to you and I feel the same: I either accept treading water or I have to be brave and push myself into new areas .

I do know the feeling! I don’t think you are washed up but if you are re-vamping your career now, it would make sense to think of what will you enjoy/get well paid for for the next 15-20 years.

Without more info it is hard to say more, but Careershifters is a good organisation worth checking out

I could've written a similar post, OP! I'm 46 and self-employed, but actually only work for one organization, because they're flexible, really nice people and it works well with family life. Unlike your role, it can still be stressful and I don't really enjoy it, tbh. I'm a creative person who's somehow ended up in finance and it drives me mad!
I could really use some advice on where to go from here as we'll all be working for at least another 20/25 years.

Sorry I don't have any good advice, just letting you know that you're not alone!

What job do you actually do?

I'd been in the same accounts job for 10 years, (still am) but took a second accounts job 18 months ago. Oh my word what a shock. Hadn't used teams, or Dropbox. But since then I've done 2 more jobs, got latest accreditation's, loving current job.

It may seem frightening, but you can wing it do easily, until you a do become comfortable. It'll be fine!

Ah thanks lovelies. Some really helpful advice and support . Going to look at careershifters , online learning resources. Need to get on linkedin too.

Just feel so lacking! I don't know if it is because everyone seems so young and I am ageing! It's strange as I do come across as confident. Think it was a shock discovering today too that an old peer was now CEO of a pretty large organisation.

@Oblomov21 I don't want to say what I do exactly as outing. But thanks for the supportive words of advice and well done you.

True, it's very hard when you see how far peers have gone. I became friends with someone when my son was at nursery and she said she was in the police: I got a shock when I saw her on tv being interviewed as she is some kind of commissioner or head of a whole county!

Do you have trusted colleagues who you could chat to and get their perspective of you? I'm sure you would be surprised (in a good way). I think that a lot of younger people have so much more confidence and like Oblomov says that can take you a long way until you do know what you are doing.

@CatNamedEaster another good idea, thank you. If I was working my notice I am pretty sure HR and managers would give me some interview practice and CV help too. We do have people leave and return, would never want to burn my bridges. I'm actually feeling quite positive. Amazing what a few words of common sense and realisation this is quite normal can do. I have been so lucky to be able to have had a work life balance the last 15 years. Also to have got to my age without redundancy , so I've had a really good run.

That's quite funny about your police nursery friend!

This post is so timely because I had exactly the same thoughts today OP. I’m almost ashamed that I’ve been at the same grade for 15 years now..although I’ve have had some interesting sideways moves along the way, I went very part time after DS. This has meant I’ve had the benefit of a really good work life balance with minimal work stress, but i’m at a similar age with kids at or due to start secondary school this year . I’m starting to look at what job openings are coming up but they are mostly full time. I also have lost my confidence and keep comparing myself to the bright young super confident newcomers who are so ambitious and will definitely go places.
I made the mistake of searching up old colleagues and they’re all at very senior levels now. So I can really empathise with your dilemma of restarting a career vs maintaining the status quo which guarantees a great work life balance. Maybe we should start by recognising the fact that the latter is also a success and decide where to go from there!

@buzzy1
Wow you sound like me! And you're right. We should view a place where we're happy as a success. And give ourselves a pat on the back.

Just been talking about this to a wonderful friend. She said this mid life crisis is ao common amongst us
Loss of confidence , angst and worrying about an empty nest and ageing.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. Having.a balance you're happy with is no mean feat.