How do you cope when work just gets on top of you too much?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I'm at a point with my work where I just feel swamped. I've already let other non work things slide as I just feel I can only juggle so many balls at the moment.

I enjoy the "do the task to completion" items on my to do list and hate the ones that linger on and on. Especially when I can't complete them due to waiting for others (outside of my organisation) to respond.

As it nears towards Year End (clue of what kind of job I have), it just seems like all of these loose ends won't ever tie up. And I know if it was a case of needing people within my organisation to respond, they'd be done.

But they aren't. Hours spent on online chats with organisations/emails/calls/enquiries raised etc.

It all just feels so big.

And on top of that, all the usual day to day stuff rolls in and all the additional crap that seems to drop onto your desk because, frankly, no one else does it, just piles up.

I had three days off last week and I'm still not through the emails that came in while I was off due to all the urgent stuff that's happening this week.

It's just a tide of stuff to do.

For the last couple of weeks its affecting my sleep, and my evening downtime. I get a little knot of anxiety on the evening, or if I wake at night. I've even started purposefully staying up till I'm dropping with tiredness to try and avoid any early/mid night waking as that's when things worry me most. Its helping, to be fair.

I'm a master of to do lists and organisation and I dont even see the benefit of sitting and sorting out what is to do - I know what's to be done. I just want to get what I need from suppliers to enable me to do my job properly.

I'm not even paid well

Any tips?

Oh, and I only took the days off as I have them to be used and we cannot roll them over.

I sympathise, OP, as I'm in a similar position. I have a supportive line manager, but the work still has to be done. I have a week off this week - also using up leave - but I feel so burnt out I'm doing almost nothing. Just looking forward to Easter when I have more time off.

Inbox aiming for zero type method is really helpful.
Keep your inbox tidy - with several folders:

• waiting on reply
• project A
• project B
• Old / archived

Step 1: Completely clear out your inbox by archiving everything that's not currently relevant into old / archived. Keep current emails in project folders, as above.

Step 2: Once you've cleared all excess and filed current emails in relevant project folders or archived, you should have a nearly empty inbox. As soon as a new email comes in, action it or reply to it ASAP, or file it in pending / waiting for info, or the relevant project folder. If you've got an action yet to carry out keep it in your inbox as a reminder, or have a "check back on" or "pending" folder.

Periodically check your pending folder and carry out the odd actions as / when you get a chance so you don't lose track.

Project folders keep relevant related emails in there until the project is over then they can be deleted. Add new project folders as they arrive.

Keeping your inbox clean will do wonders for your mental health. The aim is to keep inbox as low as possible, with only relevant emails in there that need to be dealt with imminently.

I also often set myself a calendar reminder, autoemailed to me, for follow up actions, say a week or so later to check in on X if they haven't yet replied, or to do X as a follow up. This pops in inbox as a task to do.

Really helps me keep track of what I need to do or haven't yet done without the stress of trying to remember what needs to be done. I also email myself tasks so I remember them, and set them as "actionable" emails in my "pending" folder.

I try and chunk up my days into dedicated sections.

So for example project A - 2 hrs, 1 hr emails, Project B 2 hours. Etc

It maybe useful to set expectations when asking for a response from others.

Lists are good as they give you a sense of achievement.

Good luck

Another tip OP - maybe consider a new job!?

Ok so time out. Get your manager to tell you what to prioritise and what you need to delegate. It does seem like it’s too much, even though you are very organised. you suffer from being good so people pile it on and you perhaps think you have to deal with it. Can you delegate and out chasers on someone’s else’s diary fir instance? Would your company look at cost and a discount for earlier payment ie less hours invested in chasing the supplier?

And I've totally been where you are with the wakeful nights and the knot in the stomach. For me that was the first signs of stress but I let it become huge. Started uncontrollably shaking in the office snd went to the doctors who signed me off for six weeks. I then handed my notice in.

All I can say is do what you can, flag up what you can't and look after yourself. Your wellbeing is so much more important. And it's really not worth it.

Oh I am bang on Inbox Management - I have folders, I use the little colour markers, etc. I keep a paper to do list on the side for things where I've emailed out (thus have no inbox email to keep me on track). I have a cracking colour coded calendar. I attend minimal meetings. Like 1/2 per week.

Fuck, just remembered I need to attend one tomorrow and Minute it as a stand in for someone.

It sounds dickish, and I dont intend to, but it isn't me struggling with me or even me struggling with the team

It's the external people. The ones I cannot stand at the door of, or send a "gentle reminder" to. I get bounce back after bounce back where they cannot give me what I need or they cannot identify what I'm raising with them.

An example is X Company need to provide Y Document. I asked for it a year ago. No reply. Chased a week later. "Passing you to someone". Chased 2 weeks later "sorry dont know what that is". Wait a week. Try again. Same process repeat etc. Eventually, after 6 months, "oh, that's set up wrong at our end, I'll get it changed". Chase after a week, then another week, then I get something but it's not what I asked for. Try their management or complaints line "response due in 5 days". No reply. Try again. Call, email, all I want is that fucking document. That you are supposed to provide me. "Oh, we can't send it to you, your names not on the account". Spend a week trying to find out whose name is, so they can add me. No one knows. Maybe it was Brian who left two years ago?

Rage.

There is no one to delegate to. I am bottom rung. I can "push back" on things which are nudged towards me by people on a similar level to me, in other depts, but I can't pass things down.

I have a couple of others in my department, but we are small, so they do different jobs to me.

Does sound like it might be you being fed up with your job in general, maybe you've outgrown it OP? Or need a holiday or break for a couple of weeks?

I think its just that "peak" time where everything culminates. Crap that's left unfinished from the past few months, added pressure of a typically busy few months due to the nature of the job, and the lack of seeing an end point - I am blind to seeing how this will look in a few months. Blinded by the work.

When things are overwhelming I talk to my manager for a bit of a rant and to agree with her what to prioritise and what can wait, if I don’t have the type of manager that I can do that with then it’s not the right job for me

@fabulousspider

Does sound like it might be you being fed up with your job in general, maybe you've outgrown it OP? Or need a holiday or break for a couple of weeks?

I actually really love what I do. When it works. The satisfaction it brings when things come together, or if theres a nut to crack and it works, even if it takes a couple of weeks. It's the long drawn out crap that burdens me.

I've just had a project that went on three years OP I can sympathise!!

@user1493413286

When things are overwhelming I talk to my manager for a bit of a rant and to agree with her what to prioritise and what can wait, if I don’t have the type of manager that I can do that with then it’s not the right job for me

My manager is lovely, not much of a people person, but knowledgable and supportive as needed. They have my back and seem to appreciate my efforts.

Sadly their and my schedules seem to oppose - I swing into the busy period of the month as they are coming into the quieter period of theirs. And then this is the time they ask for x/y/z or ask how chasing things is going. But at my peak busy time, its nose to the grind stone and lower priority stuff has to wait till the following week.

@fabulousspider

I've just had a project that went on three years OP I can sympathise!!

Urgh. I hate stuff that lingers. Especially when I know it's a 2second job if I can just be provided with the document I need.

I still think speak to your manager as it sounds like lots - ie too many people use you as a resource, to divide the work up. Are you able to use the phone and get through to those who can really action things? If it can’t be actioned ask them to confirm in writing, then you then pass to your manager to come up with a new strategy with the supplier to sort it, so you can show you’ve maxed it out. With covid lots of systems have fallen over, people furloughed, made redundant etc and it may be that spending half an hour on the phone on one thing rather than emailing a reminder may move the backlog for you

@Pantsomime

I still think speak to your manager as it sounds like lots - ie too many people use you as a resource, to divide the work up. Are you able to use the phone and get through to those who can really action things? If it can’t be actioned ask them to confirm in writing, then you then pass to your manager to come up with a new strategy with the supplier to sort it, so you can show you’ve maxed it out. With covid lots of systems have fallen over, people furloughed, made redundant etc and it may be that spending half an hour on the phone on one thing rather than emailing a reminder may move the backlog for you

Since weve all started wfh I've not had a phone, but that was set up last week whole I was off so I can start hammering the calls (prior to this I was making calls on odd visits to the office which we can only book in every 2 weeks).

I totally appreciate that WFH has changed many organisations ability to do what they need to, and we are probably way down the list of priority for them.

I'm due on too which isn't helping as that always makes me a bit anxious.

I think I'll speak to my Manager on Friday and just update them where I am at and explain again how much I am having to do with little return from external suppliers.

Totally sympathise. I get the staying up late to be as tired as possible too. As soon as the light is out my brain is on hyper alert ticking down, remembering and trying to mentally work through blocks. Exhausting. Sometimes I just have to think I’m doing the best I can, some things are out of my control and just try and let that be enough even if the shit hits the fan. I swing between complete burnout and limping on. Living my best life

Crap isn't it.

Helpful to know I'm not alone. You have all been so good at understanding and making good suggestions.