So to start i want to say I’m fully aware that people have every right to change their mind at any time about anything. This thread isn’t about the rights and wrongs really of my situation.
I’m just feeling quite sad and let down and just wanted a place to let that out.
Last year I had arranged with dsis that when I returned to work she would have my dc for me. She offered, I’ll make that very clear. I was researching nurseries and chatting to her and she offered. Her dc are older now and she’s a sahm and said she would love to. She was quite insistent that she really wanted to.
My 3 y o has ASD so she said he knows her it will be better for him and the baby can get to know her better so that they’ll all be fine when it comes to it. We offered to pay her and she said no she would love to do it just to help out for the 4 days a week till ds goes to school then we can see how things are as obviously with his asd he needs stability and (hopefully) baby won’t have the same issues so can then perhaps move onto nursery. So for about 18 months total
We’ve been seeing her lots (formed a bubble as baby under 1) ds loves her and is used to her and we had explained to him. Everything was going great. Baby would take a bottle from her etc etc.
She has now changed her mind. I know that’s totally her prerogative and there’s nothing I can do. She said she is sorry that there’s no real reason other than the more she’s seen us over the last few months she feels it will be too much for her and she can’t do it. I’m glad she’s told us now rather than starting and she struggled and dc maybe didn’t get the right level of care but I wish she had never offered and I’d probably have found a nursery and got ds used to the idea
I am now considering after talking to Dh just not returning to work till ds is in reception. I feel so let down and I thought we had a great set up and I’m just feeling really crappy about it today as feel like I’ve spent so much effort getting ds used to this idea and I obviously misjudged the situation.
Me working isn’t essential to our financial survival it was just really as I wanted to contribute obviously as even though not essential it helps and it was also a break for me too. I was looking forward to that.
I’m just feeling fragile about it all tbh as has planned it to the finest detail and she was so on board. I worry as ds had a couple of bad meltdowns lately and perhaps she feels she just can’t deal with that ? I don’t want to change her mind I’m just wondering what to do and has anyone else had similar that their child had difficulties.
Maybe he would settle in a nursery but I don’t know if they have set amount of places for SEN? Will I find one easily or do I just leave it now totally unsure