I’ve had three babies and each birth (and subsequent week or so) was like being on heavy-duty mind altering drugs. All your senses change - food tastes amazing, colours are more vibrant, you see things from a new perspective, your brain functions differently (after my last birth I swear I became really wise, eloquent and insightful for about two weeks before the new born tiredness kicked in and it ebbed away).
It feels like this is a very well kept secret in Western society That it would somehow not be proper and seemly for a new mum to admit to tripping her tits off instead of experiencing more gentle feelings of love and serenity for her newborn?
It tickles me no-end that seemly ‘ordinary’ women like your grandma or Tina from accounts, or Mary who volunteers in the charity shop around the corner may have all experienced something so ‘out there’ it would make a 90’s raver swoon. How can women ever feel we are anything other than extraordinary and amazing having been through this and brought a new person onto the world? It’s at once earthy and crystalline shiny, raw and spiritual. An experience that changes you like no other.
Without meaning to sound like a hippy, I think it gives you an insight into the meaning of the universe that is totally unique. Even if you hold no religious beliefs I don’t think you can experience it without feeling you are part of something amazing and so much bigger than yourself. After giving birth I’m no longer afraid of dying because I’ve already been to the end during labour - if that makes sense?
Can you relate? I hope it’s not just me and that others out there will say yes! I know what you mean - I had this too!
I wanted to add that I’ve also experienced the flip side of this after a bad birth (my first) where I still got the soaring highs but also crashing lows too. Most terrifying experience of my life felt like I’d fallen into a pit of mental unwellness which took a good year to climb out of.