Miserable teenagers getting me down, anyone else?

[TeaHag]

Anyone else have grumpy miserable moaning teenagers? Please tell me how to cope.
I have been positive, understanding, encouraging and crushed all my own feelings of woe to try and make this time OK for them.
They are relentlessly negative, miserable faces, moan constantly about literally everything, even down to moaning about things in the future. I get it. But honestly sitting across the table from them is even becoming too much.
For context : they have everything they could possibly want and more, materially and emotionally. Support and opportunities from their schools are amazing but they shun it and do the absolute minimum.

Yes.

My 19 year old is home still from her 1st year at uni. She came home for Christmas during the student travel window at the beginning of December and hasn’t been able to go back.

I’m hugely sympathetic and my heart breaks for her, but nearly 3 months of the same conversation every day, several times a day is beginning to wear a bit thin.

She had hoped she could go back when the schools reopen in March, but after the announcement yesterday she’s pretty gutted.

I do get it, I’m here with hugs, encouragement and a sympathetic ear but she won’t/doesn’t want to look at anything positive and it is beginning to get me down

unfortunately those who are lucky to have this all - have no sense of perspective.

I think you have to accept that you can't make this time better for them. They need freedom, experiences, their peers and space from their parents and can't give them this.

No, my teen's a dream but I have friends who have negative teens who they pander to endlessly. I'd eat my tea on a tray in front of the telly rather than sit across the table staring at their moping faces. Just ignore them. And limit the amount of junk food and sugar they have access to in the house.

My two have been pretty good. But even so, I am at the end of my tether of being the one that everyone dumps their woes on. Getting increasingly desperate for breathing space and time away and proper two way conversations instead of being a listening ear.

It's hard for a lot of people but especially young people who should be full of plans but have had the ability to make plans taken away. They don't have the life experience we do to deal with it all.

My dd is Y12 and she got really angry at us all after the announcement last night. She loves school but just couldn't cope with the idea of change.

And yes I did just this minute say to her that I'm trying my best and she needs to cut me some slack. That did not go down well!

Can you give them like a 20/80 rule? They can mope for 20% of the time but the other 80 needs to be productive. Learn a new skill or get paid to do housework or aim to get fit enough to pass the army fitness test or do the couch to 5K or whatever. But get them doing something to fill time as they need some focus and direction.
It’s tough but they don’t really have a hard life and need to try to get a bit of perspective.

@Labobo

My two have been pretty good. But even so, I am at the end of my tether of being the one that everyone dumps their woes on. Getting increasingly desperate for breathing space and time away and proper two way conversations instead of being a listening ear.

Yes, I agree about being the one everyone else dumps their woes on.

DH is worried about his business, DD2 has some mental health problems and Tourette’s, DD1 is desperate to get back to uni. My own job is pretty stressful and busy at the moment and my boss has a habit of dumping her personal worries on me too.

As soon as I walk in the front door they all start and it’s all getting a bit much

I did go bang the other night and had a good rant and DH has taken it on board and being a bit more supportive