Have you ever recognised or been recognised on MN?

[Spidey66]

This thread is inspired by people "namechanging because this is outing'"

Have you ever recognised or been recognised by someone on MN? Have you ever thought "that's my friend/sister/mum/colleague" because of something posted here? Or had someone in real life say they recognised a post here as being you?

Someone posted on an “unusual names of children you know” thread and the name was genuinely unique and could only really have been DC’s classmate so I pretty quickly narrowed it down to one mum I knew from the school playground.

Another time a poster talked about a confidential problem her DC was having which matched the situation of my DC’s best friend. Even though she’d used a single use name change, and was vague about the problem and the school, it leaped out at me and the name she’d used confirmed that it must be her.

Some people used to get quite self righteous about “why do people get so fanatical about anonymity, is it just because they say things they should be ashamed of?” but that ignores the fact that a lot of the things we post are confidential information about our children and not ours to share publicly.

I'm standing in a playground next to a mum who is almost deffo a mumsnetter. Dressed like one of the Motherland crew, and with a 4yo who is running round screaming "fucking hell".

This woman also has another child with an unbelievable name which would actually be outing, not just by Mumsnet standards I.e James

I was recognised by a family member years ago, under a different name. I was asking for help about a really tough situation I was in, and thought I'd changed enough details in my post but clearly not! I'm more careful these days. When you want the advice of the AIBU crowd, you really do want it to be anonymous.

I thought that I recognised a close relative on a Brexit thread, due to things they posted, tone used and some location/family details.

I did an advance search which confirmed it, as the person had started a thread about a specific situation they were dealing with, and included very outing details. Unfortunately they had also slagged my family off on another thread, which sped up my decision to go NC.

They eventually asked me what they’d done wrong so I told them (it was final nail in coffin of a lot of abuse), and found out they were banned!

Some posters still ask about them on their thread, I have PMd a couple just explaining that the Op is banned and how I know (without being too outing myself!).

I do take more care to change my username regularly now, as I have done for this.

I recognised someone, yes.

There's a mner that I know tangentially, and I haven't told her, mainly because I don't want her to know my username! I rarely see her post though, certainly never anything in the least embarrassing! I haven't seen her in rl for about three years either.

I recognised someone not long after I joined MN many moons ago. Someone recognised me under my previous username when I gave away some information that could have only been one of a handful of people.

I recognised a friend and told her. Unfortunately I was new to MN and didn't realise the implications. I think she deregged

I recognised my SIL through a unique situation she posted about. Haven’t seen her since so she either left or name change. I try and name change regularly, although I do find it useful that some stalwarts keep their names so I remember past exchanges with them!

I recognised someone a few years ago when she posted about something at her DCs school that was very known locally. The ages of the DC matched. I did PM her to speak to her about it and we had a few chats as she was in a low place then it all went quiet.
The thread and all of our messages have been deleted. I see her around occasionally, but I don't mention it to her.

I have recognised about five people, including my mum's next door neighbour, whom I've never actually met. Just recognised her from a very specific thread title.
Some other people I've recognised have pretty much written their life stories.

I’ve recognised someone, one of my college students moaning about the course I was teaching. Guess she hadn’t realised it was one of only 2 courses of that name running in the entire country and she named the course. Quick check of her posting history and I soon worked out which student. 😁

I've recognised 4 people, none of whom I know very well in real life. 3 mums from my DC's schools, one person from a hobby group. The hobby isn't at all rare or unusual but she made one post about some specific details of our group which was enough, especially as she had answered an OP of mine a couple of days ago in her professional capacity which matched too. So I totally get why people refer to their hobby rather than saying golf, cycling whatever.

Only once in 14 years.

Another time (years ago) a Mumsnetter outed herself to me by using the word norks in rl conversation but I didn't know her username.

Yes, a friend who has a very specific family setup and described it in detail in one post (e.g. 5 kids, oldest 2 with SEN, husband works in xyz industry, MIL is xyz). I’d never snoop on other posts and didn’t tell her I’d spotted her.

Yes. Someone recognised me from various education threads.

And I recognised someone who stepped in to help someone on here but then posted about the situation on a Facebook group I’m in. I didn’t let on to get though.

I have the DH with the very outing occupation. So outing that the one time I mentioned it in the appropriate topic on here I got a PM within minutes from someone saying “I know who you are”. Needless to say she didn’t identify herself . I name changed and don’t go near that topic anymore.
Probably due a name change around now actually.
Also had an instance where someone copied my username- changed one vowel but wrote it exactly as I had done. I knew it was a copy because it was a specific and personal name that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. That was very weird.

Not recognised as such, but through mn got I touch with an old school friend. Someone was asking about our junior school. I referred to it by a certain name and she commented on it also. I think she may have mentioned the years she was there, hence the connection.

Never! I don't write anything that personal these days as I'm more worried about it being in the Daily Mail the next day

Yep! Lady who had a really gripping ‘am I pregnant’ thread on here, turned out she was 34 weeks or so pregnant. Heard her telling the story at a baby group and asked her if it was her, probably a bit of a faux pas on my part! See her with said baby in the supermarket sometimes!

Just happened recently - we recognised each other and had a right laugh about it. Sure I'll be getting a text soon

I asked for a thread to be removed because someone said they knew where I worked. I regretted posting in the first place anyway.

My sister recognised me immediately. I spot her from time to time or recognise the details in a post and look up to find it’s her username, mainly on the christmas boards. She’s had the same name forever but I get bored easily and change mine so I don’t know if she’s recognise me now. Probably though.

My very first post 10 years ago was a scathing one about my MIL (and I was resoundedly (is that a word??) found to NBU!) and then a couple of days later MIL told DH on the phone that she was enjoying her new computer and had been looking at this website called Mumsnet 😵. I don’t know if she spotted the post but MN kindly deleted it for me and we were soon after allowed into her living room...

Years ago I recognised someone I knew from Livejournal (it really was years ago). Though she had changed some aspects of her situation I knew her style well enough. I didn't say anything to her but it did make me realise that pekoe can be so fucking smuggity smug even though their partner is cheating on them!