And tell me to get my shit together, please.
Someone I dated for a while a few years ago is selling his house (we’re on socials, he posted the rightmove link). He got engaged around a year ago so it’s pretty standard stuff, assume they’re moving in together somewhere new and bigger, ready to start a family in the near future.
We were only dating casually but I find myself feeling really wistful about our relationship and somewhat jealous about his current relationship. It’s confusing me because I’m really happy - I met someone quite soon after we fizzled out, things moved pretty quickly and we have a baby. But seeing pictures of this house, looking lovely in the way that mine doesn’t (because it’s covered in toys and laundry and yoghurt...), I can’t stop thinking about the time I spent there, it’s almost like intrusive thoughts. The first time I visited, not long after he’d moved in and there were still boxes everywhere and a rubbish old carpet in the living room. The first time I stayed over. Drinking wine on the sofa and having sex in an armchair.
I’m annoyed at myself for feeling like this. The relationship ground to a halt and at the time I was a bit upset, because I did like him and I thought it had potential, even though there were a few incompatibilities. But sometimes that’s how things happen, and like I said I met my wonderful DP soon after and I’m 99 per cent sure I’m not pining after the relationship, but about the younger me who was carefree and confident, rather than now, the far side of 30 with a post-baby body and a cluttered house. But I shouldn’t be thinking like this in any way.
I know I shouldn’t have looked, but to be fair I didn’t think it would have this effect on me. I don’t use social media much anyway, and I’ve muted him now because I don’t want any more dwelling on this. But ugh, it took me by surprise. Any positivity tips?