Does anyone go to bed really early (8pm) out of choice?

[FightingTheFoo]

I'm trapped in a terrible cycle atm where I spend all evening snacking, go to bed far too late, get woken up very early by my toddler meaning I have no energy to exercise and just want to snack all day (and night). Rinse and repeat.

I've tried going to bed earlier but it's not working. I "check something" on Twitter or watch "1 episode" of Friends on Netflix and before I know it it's 11pm and I'm not even in my pyjamas. I'm on my knees with tiredness atm.

I'm thinking the only way to fix it is: as soon as DH & I have put the toddler to bed & cleaned the kitchen I'll get ready for bed myself - so no TV or internet in the evenings and in bed by 8pm.

Does anyone go to bed this early? Are there any drawbacks?

I just wonder if it'll be sustainable once evenings get lighter and lockdown eases.

There are no drawbacks to being well rested! I sometimes go to bed by eight, asleep by nine. It is bliss.

I wouldn't need to do it more than a couple of times per week.

We all need more sleep at the moment as covid life is background stressful so very draining.

Why not just set an alarm and tell yourself you'll be in bed by 10? Having said that when I'm alone I do go to bed early sometimes and get up really early as I like it. Can't really do it with kids around though.

I did when I had a non sleeping baby. I went to bed at 7.30 with baby knowing I would at least get a few hours.
I was practically hallucinating with exhaustion and it was the only way.

I go to bed between 8.30 and 9.00 as it is the only way I get 7 hours sleep with an early waking baby and an autistic child who wakes in the night. It is not great not having any time to myself or with dh but I get really depressed on less than 7 hours sleep.

@Sometimesonly

Why not just set an alarm and tell yourself you'll be in bed by 10? Having said that when I'm alone I do go to bed early sometimes and get up really early as I like it. Can't really do it with kids around though.

I've tried this but I just keep pressing snooze on the alarm and still end up in bed at 11pm, lights out 11.30pm which is just too late when toddler gets up at 5am (or 4.45 am in today's case).

Evenings are the only "me time" I get which is one of the reasons why I just end up sitting there eating and watching TV, because I feel like I 'deserve it', but the reality is it's causing me massive problems (I have health issues that aren't helped by the snacking and lack of sleep).

If only toddlers came with snooze buttons.

I go to bed around 8pm fairly often - sometimes earlier. Partly just because I'm a morning person, so have usually been up since very early, and partly because some of my meds (which I'm just in a habit of taking with dinner - I could take them later) will start to make me tired around that time. I do tend to read for a short while in bed first, but usually I'm too tired to do that for long.

I can't think of any drawbacks? I guess if evening was the only time I'd have to be with DH or to do things for pleasure, missing that would be a drawback. It's also a bit of a bummer that we seldom go to bed at the same time, but not really a big deal.

Trouble with doing this is you'll find yourself waking up at 4am. I'm in bed by 9 most nights, sometimes nearer 8, and if I'm still asleep by 5 I've had a lie in! Works for me as I'm a lark and get more done first thing, but if you're not a morning person you might end up feeling worse.

Thanks for the responses. Ideally I'd like to wake up at 4am and have my "me time" then (or even get some work done then - I'm freelance - to free up some "me time" later) but interesting I could feel worse at 4am!

I think it's probably worth a shot though. The only thing is I'll still need discipline to not go online after 8pm and just get ready for bed ASAP, which is what I'm lacking in the first place!

I go to bed really early but then watch TV. At least when I get tired I just drift off whereas when I was downstairs I’d have to get up and would end up waking back up again

If you want to not snack, I found it really helped to brush my teeth straight after dinner and then I wasn't so tempted.

DP and I do during the week. He gets up at 5 for work, I'm wfh but like to get up early and am a natural early to bed, early to rise person and am often up by 5. I like to start work early or go for a run. I have always been this way.

I don't really know if it would help you avoid snacking though! I snack a lot but in the morning

When I have an early start I go to bed around 8, I don't try to go straight to sleep though because that wouldn't happen. Instead I watch television or read until I feel drowsy, and I'm usually ready to sleep by 9, which I wouldn't be if I went to bed at that time.

It's your mindset...

You have to say to yourself...

There's nothing on the internet or TV that is more useful to me than getting a good night's sleep.

You can't adjust your toddler!

So go to bed when they do.

Sleep makes EVERYTHING better. I have done this exact thing for years.

Yes, never later than 9pm and anytime from 7:30. I wake really early and am better in a morning.

I can stay out late (before Covid) to socialise, but I much prefer an early to bed, early to rise life.

I'm still an esrly to bed and early up person from when kids were up at 5. They are all older now but I love the early part of the day. I go for a run at about 5, walk dogs and clean before work so when I get home I can just relax. I'm always tired by about 8 though and go up to read my book and doze off 9ish.

Sometimes yes when I'm exhausted by a baby/toddler most often.

What helped me have a consistent bedtime was making myself a bedtime routine. I am also prone to snoozing reminders forever - but what I did was set an alarm an hour before I wanted to go to bed and that's my signal to get up and get myself a drink and snack if I want one. I can usually tear myself away from the computer for that! While I'm away I remind myself that it's my last chance to go and read in bed. Usually I still decide to go back to the computer. Probably because I don't have a very gripping book at the moment.

Then when I get back it's "wind down time". I have some rules for myself.

• No watching TV programmes - I get sucked in
• No playing computer games, especially "just one more round" type games
• No threads on MN where I am compelled to write a long response
• Nothing emotionally drawn in (drama filled thread etc)

I switch my spotify to a wind down playlist, only calming songs.

All of this together helps me keep an eye on the time and feel a bit more sleepy and then I usually turn off and go to bed at the right time.

Hi op
I go to bed around 9pm, i have a now 4 year old who has ALWAYS got up between 430-530 🤦‍♀️ i see it as a reverse lie in tbh, sometimes i read in bed for a bit or listen to an audiobook. I watch tv once or twice a week (i'm not a massive tv fan). I feel loads better for going to bed at this time. If I'm up late I pretty much always regret it the next day - tired, grumpy etc. Whereas if I'm in bed around 9, I've had decent amount of sleep when he wakes up. I get up make us drinks & we read in bed in the morning whilst I'm waking. It's actually a lovely - but v early! - start to the day.

Yes, I go about 8.30. Only because I have to get up at 3.50 to get one of DC to sport training 4x a week.

I'd be a zombie otherwise.

Yes we get in bed for about 8.30 every night! Some days we sleep then some it's 10pm. I love my early nights.

I like to be in bed by 9, I usually read for a while. I think how much success you have will depend on whether you are an owl or a lark by nature. I have always been an early riser and I enjoy my morning quiet time. Whatever time I go to bed I wake naturally around 5.30 and the later I go to bed the poorer my sleep so this pattern works for me.
DH is a natural owl - he has tried over the years to change his sleep patterns but with minimal effects - given the opportunity he will lie in whatever time he goes to bed!

Hi OP I have a toddler who wakes at 4/5am and I have now resorted to getting in bed for 9pm, asleep for 9:30pm. I thought I would miss my evening me time but I much prefer sleeping!

I should add I went to bed at almost midnight tonight and feel like crap right now after a 5am wake up. Lesson learned!

I need to start doing this as I have a wakeful one year old who ends up in bed with me and am now back at work. She sleeps perfectly from eight until midnight so that has to start being my sleep window too.

Like you I have poor discipline and am easily distracted. I have just put a timer on the wifi and changed my phone to no mobile data in the settings and that is helping.

You need to go to bed whenever you ‘need’ to.
Just remember that everything is a phase at this age. In the future you will get your evenings back and the little one will sleep in longer.
Give it about 12 years and you’ll be back on here complaining that you can’t get your teen out of bed !

I totally get the need for ‘me time’ once children are in bed. I too have to be in bed much earlier than I’d like, in order to get enough sleep with early riding children. Can you switch what you consider your evening treats (tv, social media etc) to something more genuinely restful like reading or a bath? Eg put children to bed then you go straight to bathroom for bath with special bath oil, then straight into bed with a book and lights out 9pm latest? Then maybe you can have some tv in the daytime when toddler is sleeping. 9.30 bedtime is the only way I stay sane