*Trigger warning* Teen Ds just told me he tried to kill himself two years ago

[Wellthisisafuckup]

Have posted in teens but posting here for traffic.

We were having a heart to heart and he just came out with it. Said he tried to hang himself. I’m devastated we are so close, I’m a single parent to him, his father is not on the scene. He said he was really low he tried it didn’t work. I had no clue.

He said lockdown is making him feel really low. I’ve asked can I take him to doctors he doesn’t want to go. I’ve said he can speak to me about anything and I will never be cross or angry at him

I don’t know what to do. Shall I go to doctor anyway? He is 18 so probably not.

Op I have no advice but that must have been heartbreaking to hear.
Keep communication channels open between you both and with time he might come round to the idea of speaking to his GP. How awful for you and him

I'm so sorry OP . I have been affected by suicide attempts, so I sympathise hugely. It's easier said than done, but try not to blame yourself. Listen to him, make sure that he has the phone numbers for Samaritans etc, thank him for telling you now. If he needs to see a friend to help him cope with lockdown - let him (assuming you and he are not CEV).

I'm so sorry, this is heartbreaking. Why didn't he want to go to the GP? Is there anyone else he can speak to? Is he still at college or has he left? I would give him the Samaritans number and encourage him to call them or talk to you if he feels in danger of hurting himself. You sound wonderful and supportive, I hope he can come out the other side of this ♥️

He is still at college but at home. Lockdown is getting to him. He has been out a few times for a walk round where we live with his mate taking the dog as an excuse. It’s all getting too much.

He says he isn’t sleeping. I’ve suggested we chat to the doctor together but he isn’t interested.

I'm sorry op. That's difficult to digest. I have no words of wisdom. But, please don't do what my mum did and never speak of it again. Please let this be aa start to a constant open conversation around mental health and everyday life. My mums ignorance broke me. We've not spoken about my self harm since that day I told her about it.

I'm very sorry you are both going through this. My son was recommended the kooth.com, which is aimed at young people. There are (moderated) chat rooms and also the opportunity to book online counsellors. This was via the school nurse service but I believe it goes upto age 25.

Thank you @TheGracefulwhale I would never do that having a history of MH issues myself. I am so shocked as I thought we had such an open relationship we literally talk about everything no subject is off limits usually.

It's really good that he's told you as it seems he maybe wants that support so he doesn't try anything like that again. I would see how he feels about the GP again in a couple of days. I would also forget any lockdown rules he's been sticking to and as him to invite a couple of mates round this weekend, it will do him good to have a laugh with friends, he's meant to be living life with his mates at 18 it must be so hard on them all.

I'm so sorry OP🙏 you must be worried sick about him 🙏
It's good that he told you that means he trusts you
Do you think he would engage with a more low key form of cancelling perhaps something by text or email or WhatsApp?
Does he feel able to talk to you, what about journalling has he thought about trying that as a way of getting some distance from his thoughts and feelings 🤔
Also what about online support communities 🤔
I hope you're ok, again I do think it's very important and significant that he trusts you enough to tell you about this

How is he doing at the moment, is there anything that will help him to sleep better?
Everything is SO much worse when you haven't slept properly☹️

why does he not want to go to the doctors have you told him medication can help and depression is nothing to be embarrassed about? Exercise is good could he go walking every day, borrow a dog?

Yes but he has told you now which is huge so he very much trusts you and isnt scared to talk about it any more.

I'm guessing he really doesnt want to think or talk about it but he knows you're there if he needs you.

I know my teen DC would get annoyed if i kept talking about it or trying to help which would make them think about telling me things in the future.

Talking to the Samaritans is a very good idea for when he next feels that way

I would second PP's suggestion of Kooth.com, and also see if his college has a counsellor or uses a local counselling service.

OP, I have just re-read the lockdown rules on Gov.uk.
You can exercise outdoors with one other person, so I would encourage him to walk or run or cycle with a mate as often as possible and without needing an excuse.

Poor boy. Really good he spoke to you.

I will have a look at kooth today. I dont know
why no doctors but today now things have calmed down i will broach with him.

I would suggest maybe not Samaritans as I read a thread on here not so long ago where lots of people were saying it made their mental health worse. Now the conversation has been had hopefully he will open up more. We all feel shit sometimes especially at that age with peer pressure, the uncertainty of launching themselves into the world. The truth is it does get better and those things fall into place magically- we stumble upon a job, a girlfriend, a new interest. We are in that strange limbo period before real life starts again, and many of us are feeling that we’ve forgotten how to do it. By the summer things should be much more normal. Best wishes to your son

Shout has a text support line.

Local to hear there are specific young peoples services that don't need the gp to refer and are more youth club ish in feel