Weird things that you believed would happen to you when you were a child

[CrazyFoxLady]

Just washing my face and remembered that when I was young my mum used to say that if I didn't wash properly, I'd get a tidemark around my neck and people would know.

A friend's mum wouldn't let her go outside if she'd washed her hair that day as she'd catch a chill - even when her hair had dried!

Still don't stick my tongue out in case the wind changes and I stay like it

Anyone else have any weird ones?

This is embarrassing but hey ho. When I was about 6/7 I saw hedge porn for the first time and the woman had full unshaven pubic hair (early 90s) and I thought as we grew up our vaginas would disappear and all that was left was this black triangle!

I didn't realise that penises became erect for sex, so never understood why films and tv shows showed sex with the man on top. How did it get in? I imaged a couple would need to sort of scissor, with one head facing the top of the bed and the other head facing the end of the bed, so the penis could point in the right direction.

Weird!

I also remember vividly believing women could not wear dresses on their periods. So I would see a teacher or someone in a dress and think "oh she must not have her period" or one wearing trousers and think, knowingly, "ah it's that time of the month".

Rather ironically, I am a sexual health expert in a fairly senior role in my normal life now!! And my folks were always open about sex and reproduction, so I have no clue where these ideas came from!

A few of the above plus

If I drank cold milk to fast it would stay in a huge ball in my tummy

Swimming, no swimming for at least an hour after food or you would drown. Automatic consequence. Can remember sitting by the side in a holiday park counting on the clock and wondering why other kids had a super power that I did not.

These are brilliant!!! Sex next to the knitted loo roll cover 😂😂

Just remembered the crusts and the chewing ones too. Most of them aren't really a thing now are they. Our children will never know the madness that was the good old days. Although I must admit that I still worry about the swimming one, and may have used that in recent years with my own DCs.

Chewing gum 🙄

That I'd like coffee when I was a grown up.

I was much more worried about quicksand than I needed to be in suburban Manchester

That I'd get piles from sitting on a wall.
That an apple tree would grow in my stomach if I ate the pips.

My mum's brother told her when she was small that if she rubbed her eyes, the blue would come off!

I spent a lot of time worrying about the Bermuda Triangle when I was a kid. Why was it such a thing because I remember all my friends also being obsessed (mid-late 90s).
I truly believed carrots could give you night vision.
I also believed that I was a princess and one day I’d be taken back to my rich royal family with a castle and loads of money...wishful thinking

Oh and another one as some have already said I believed quicksand to be a huge risk in life. If my parents wanted to walk in woods etc I would be looking around looking for areas of quicksand and jumping over any suspicious looking patches of ground. My parents did not think to tell me this was stupid

DH remembers telling his little brother on their way as a birthday treat, to the Tower of London, that beefeaters ate people, and that " because you're fatter than me, they'll eat you first!" Little bro went into the Tower wailing with fright and wanting to go home......

DD told DS that he talked too much and that his tongue would drop off and get washed down the plug hole. There were several weeks of silent baths before I found out what the problem was.

@CrazyFoxLady

Just washing my face and remembered that when I was young my mum used to say that if I didn't wash properly, I'd get a tidemark around my neck and people would know.

A friend's mum wouldn't let her go outside if she'd washed her hair that day as she'd catch a chill - even when her hair had dried!

Still don't stick my tongue out in case the wind changes and I stay like it

Anyone else have any weird ones?

I can confirm that tidemarks do happen, if you have no shower and a parent who is fairly laissez faire about their DC personal hygeine.

I also thought I would end up in a job I hated, right up until it didn't happen. I just thought everyone hated their job.

On a lighter note, I thought my eyes would plop out if I opened them too wide.

I too had Bermuda Triangle fear.

I also thought that Spontaneous Human Combustion was a hazard in life as common as catching a cold, and would mentally note where fire extinguishers were. Can’t be too careful.

And, we went on holiday one year and in the house where we stayed was a book called “how to have a psychic relationship with your pets.” There was literally nothing else to do or read, so I studied it furiously and couldn’t wait to get home to try it out. And then spent a disappointing few days following the cat around, staring at him. I was convinced he was getting my messages but was just being an arse.

Not washing behind your ears -> potatoes
Swallow a pip -> apple tree in your stomach
Swallow chewing gum -> block your stomach
And yes yes to the dangers of quicksand.

In view of some nonsense I was taught at school and in church I believed that if I concentrated long enough I would be able to make mountains move. Turns out I mustn't have been concentrating hard enough

My childhood was blighted with a mortal fear of quicksand and rabies.

Me too! Quicksand was massive in the 80s.

I also believed it was 50:50 whether we would all be annihilated by an atomic bomb. I never worried about the actual carbombs, parcel bombs that were occurring locally - I accepted that as part of normal life, like traffic.

That if I thought about something too much it would appear in a visible thought bubble above me head. Vividly remember having a childhood crush on a waiter during one holiday when I was about 6/7 and frantically clapping above my head to burst the bubble when he was coming towards our table. Can't remember how I explained what I was doing to my parents but it definitely wasn't the truth

that should be 'me' or 'my head' obviously, not 'me head'!

@Brokengate
I remember the no swimming after a meal, I think it was because you could get cramp and drown, however I thought it was something to do with water and was concerned about having a bath too soon after eating!

I remember the Spontaneous Combustion theory and pics of a gentleman with just his feet and shoes left. Loved that!

Auntie used to read true crime magazines and i believed they would stop being published in 10 years or so as there would be no new murders to report on .not weird but rather sad .

I thought I'd spontaneously combust if I rubbed my feet together in bed (friction caused heat etc), and I also thought I'd end up in the Bermuda Triangle and be lost forever to a different world. Not sure how I thought that would happen when I was 7yo abc the furthest I'd been was Morecambe

Talk of Quicksand

The Railway Warning Videos For Kids in the 80s and 90s were FUCKING TERRIFYING