Does this sound like PND or just lockdown/ parenting fatigue?

[Moofart]

I just feel completely overwhelmed. I have three boys. Two are primary school age so are being homeschooled and the baby is 6 months old. Im finding it really, really hard. Everything, even little tasks, feel like hard work. Just making a round of sandwiches makes me want to curl in a ball and cry. I woke up this morning and felt dread at having to fill the next 12 hours. I look at the jobs that need doing and get overwhelmed not knowing where to start so end up not doing very much at all. I'm struggling. I just desperately need some time alone. Is this how everyone is feeling at the moment? I'm snappy and teary and grumpy. The days are very long. I'm a bit of an introvert and need quiet time to recharge but since March last year I havent had any time to myself, I feel at my wits end.

I feel for you so much OP. A chat with your GP might be wise, it does sound like you could be depressed tbh. Is there anyone to help you at all?

I have just formed a bubble with my mum but she works full time so we dont see her very much. It will mean she can take the older boys for a walk sometimes which will help a bit :)

That’s good OP. Just prioritise what actually needs doing atm, big jobs can wait. When your mums takes the older dc out, if you can try and have that time with a cup of tea. Just try and take some care of yourself in any way you can. Spring is nearly here and the days are getting brighter and longer 🌷

I just wanted to let you know I am feeling exactly the same as you. I have 3 children, 2 primary school ages and a toddler. I’m equally naturally an introvert and need time to recharge. I could have written your post word for word.

I’m close to tears all the time, playing and engaging is becoming a real struggle. It feels like I’m performing, whereas it used to just be natural and it’s exhausting.

I also lost a parent during the lockdown and the grief can be overwhelming. With no outlet, time to think, space in my head to process it all its compounded my feelings.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind this this, for me, is lockdown fatigue though and not depression. I just feel so trapped, hemmed in, like I’m on Groundhog Day, every possible activity I can think of I have exhausted. The weather is awful and I can’t be bothered dragging my children out in the cold and rain and deal with all the washing, mud and cleaning it entails.

You are not alone in how you feel and if you can take anything from the fact you posted about it - it’s great that you recognise how you feel, that you can put it into words and you are thinking about if you need help.

Try and talk to someone in RL if you can, you might be able to make a plan that will give you the rest you sound like you need.

I plan to get up early tomorrow morning and take a walk before my husband goes to work. I need to do something and this is the only available opportunity I have.

It’s really really tough at the moment

Xx

Thank you for your replies both, they really are appreciated. It does help a great deal to know that others understand. Gaurdup, I'm so sorry about the loss of your parent, that must be incredibly difficult. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way too. I hope you manage the walk in the morning, it's a really good idea and that bit of space and time in the morning just for you will be helpful. I do think things will start to improve soon. Thank you again x

@Moofart what you're saying reminds me of exactly how I felt when I had PND. The constant tearfulness, feeling of being overwhelmed and just grumpiness. It just felt like the joy left our house for a long time. I can't imagine how I would have felt if lockdown had happened at the same time as all of that.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. Like you say, who knows it could just be lockdown talking, it's not the easiest time. But regardless, if you feel able to, talking to someone will almost certainly help and finding some sort of space and time to yourself doing something/anything just for you, whether that's a walk or listening to music, or just stopping for 10 minutes. I know that's easy to say though.

As well as my DH I also talked to my GP who was fantastic. She referred me for counselling and also checked in on me very frequently herself to review whether it might be worth considering medication. So if you feel you'd benefit from some support it's definitely worth a try. Just to reassure you, in my case life just gradually got easier to deal with, with a few bumps along the way. Maybe it's just that my youngest got older and things just naturally got easier, I don't know, but I guess that doesn't matter.

Anyway, just wanted to say that I hope things do get better and that tomorrow is slightly better .

OP I’m sorry it’s so so hard. I have a pre schooler and now one year old. I had very severe PND in the first lockdown and had CBT over the phone and am now on a low dose antidepressant. It’s made a huge difference to my ability cope (still have ups and downs but don’t feel on the verge or tears or like running away).

Back to you- your coping mechanisms have gone. Meeting friends, getting out, evenings out with partner, ‘days off’ when others have the kids. It’s unbelievably hard and not what parents have signed up for. Things will get better and hopefully soon. Consider speaking to your GP- if you’re feeling low even if it is lockdown related some medication or talking therapy might get you through the worst bit.

@jelliedreels @CaughtInTheCovid Thank you so much for your help. I can't tell you how much it has helped to just get it out and to hear others' experiences too. I'm so sorry to read you both had PND too but it is good to hear that things have started to ease for you now. Today has actually felt a little easier. We put the tent up in the garden and the older boys have spent most the day playing in there together and in the garden, so it has given me a bit more head space. It certainly helps when they arent bouncing from sofa to sofa, running around shouting in the lounge! Thank you again.

@Moofart glad yesterday was a bit better, hope today was a decent day too!