Depression and time off work

[Sadandsadder]

Hi, will keep this brief as I don’t have the energy. I’ve also name changed.

I feel like I’m sliding fast into a pit of depression, stress and anxiety. Work is playing a big part in this. I feel so isolated wfh and there is a very hostile and unfriendly culture. The pressure keeps mounting and there is a horrible blame culture.

Every day I keep feeling like I just want to resign. In reality I can’t as I need a salary coming in. I’m not sure how much of this is the circumstances and how much might resolve if I just had a break. The problem with taking holiday is the work just stacks up for my return, the whole time off I feel crushing dread in my chest.

I’m at breaking point with overwhelm to the point that I just want to disappear. But the thought of having any time signed off with this terrifies me. How would I ever return and would I be treated differently

Sounds awful. I've been off for many months after something awful at work and I would say that it gets easier to be off with time. You absolutely need to do what's right for you and your health. It sounds toxic and that can be very damaging. Can you go off and look for something else in that time?

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I have certainly been in this situation previously. Have you thought of taking a week off to reflect either annual leave or signed off by doctor, sometimes getting some space can give you a bit more perspective. If you wanted a longer solution could you consider p/t ? Alternatively start looking for another position.
Also try getting away from your computer and do some exercise, go for a walk at lunch or do an online class.
Lastly I have found yoga and meditation really helpful in dealing with stress and depression.
I hope it works out for you x

Sorry to hear of your problems too @WinoLino

I just feel once I go off for that reason there is no way I can return

I’ve only been there a year so I’m worried about finding another role

I’ve never had time off work in a 20 year career (other than for surgery) and I feel like the doctor writing ‘stress / depression’ on a sick note is compounding the stress, anxiety and depression I’m feeling

I would get a GP appt. I was off a few years ago with stress I got to the point where I couldn't function, it was grim. I was signed off, I think initially for 4 weeks, and prescribed antidepressants. I slept a lot initially. I eventually resigned and found another job. I think I was off for about 3 months in total, it's all a bit of a blur now. I got the space I needed to get better.

I've been in this position; I inevitably crashed and had 6 weeks off with stress and anxiety last year.

With regards to work, your first step should be, if you can, to speak to your line manager and be really honest about how you feel. They should work with you, to balance your workload so you don't feel so overwhelmed. If your employer has any kind of occupational health or welfare department, get yourself referred of refer yourself if you can. If your employer subscribes to any employee assistance program, make use of that.

Speak to your GP if you can - see what they can offer you. Asking for help is hard, but so important and not a sign of weakness. Don't struggle on alone. Literally anyone can find themselves feeling like this. 💐

I just don’t think I can be off with work stress. Whatever HR / line management confidentiality is supposed to mean, I know it wouldn’t be respected. And it’d be impossible to come back.