Hello!
Sorry if I'm not on the right topic for this - just at a total loss. I have name changed to avoid linking to (minimal) previous posts..
I am in a total quandary with life and quite frankly most people on MN seem to speak some logic! Also a severe lack of people to talk to in RL..
I'll try to keep it as clear as I can... however this will no doubt be a long post so sorry in advance!
I am currently considering a career break. Semi spontaneous, but with a good reason, I think.
This would be to keep relatives out of a care home for as long as possible, although they are both currently in respite care. We are looking at full time care options, live in care options, finances, house sale; everything, but at the same time nothing, and we have no idea how one relative's dementia will have changed, and whether the other will ever regain mobility (thoroughly institutionalised through on/off hospital and covid admissions for 3 ish months).
I have experience in healthcare, and feel that the care needs of my relatives (allowing for deterioration) would currently be within my ability to provide.
Finance wise.. 2 care home places is going to be horrifically expensive (easily £2500 per week). They could fund 6 months of care home places at this estimate, maximum of an extra 4, maybe 5 years if the house sold for top money.
A quote for live in care was looking to be £1400 per week for the both of them (extra expenses on top). Approximately able to fund 1 year of live in care, with funds as they are.
For me to do it... £2500 a month. Approximately 2.5 years on basic funds as they are now, for me to provide this care
They would be self funding from what I understand, and as a result would lose the house to fund care home places...
They have both stated at separate times that they never want to end up in a care home, and i fee broken at the thought of them in care. Feel like I've let them down, even though we had no real choice on discharge from hospital.
One has stated they would be happy to pay for me or my mum to provide the care, to match the monthly salary. So money wise I wouldn't be at a loss (other than potentially pension wise.
Mum is a no go for it, however I am more and more thinking it could be what I need.
Mentally I am struggling at work at the moment (I don't expect providing care to be a walk in the park, don't worry!).
My relationship? Well. There'll be a separate thread about that soon... but essentially it is as though we're housemates who sleep in the same bed, and own a house together. Not married, no kids, just the house.
Career wise... i can have a break for up to 2 years without losing my position or roster, and if it takes longer than that, I should be able to find a job either in the same workplace or elsewhere with relative ease.
In a way.. this could be the clean break I need... split and sell the house, move back with relatives, re-centre and find myself again, and give my family what they want.. when they sacrifices and gave me so much growing up.
It'll also give me time to work on my own business ideas, develop them further and maybe actually take them further and into the real world where I didn't think I'd have the chance (always a toss up of overtime to add to savings, to fund me to set things up.... or using my days off to act on it).
It's all a bit garbled, and I hope someone can make some sense, and hopefully add anything they can re: experience in any similar situations, pros, cons...