Has covid made you reconsider using care homes?

[Milkshake7489]

OK so I'm not trying to be goady with this post, I'm aware that all families are different and some conditions require more care than can be provided at home...

But has covid made anyone else think seriously about what will happen to their parents and/or grandparents if they become unable to live alone?

Care homes aren't something I've thought about much before covid, but seeing how many elderly people have been kept from their families over the last year has terrified me about the possibility of my loved ones requiring residential care.

My family have been lucky so far, no one has needed more than occasional help that could easily be provided by family in their old age. But that's no garuntee going forward.

So what should I do? Do I plan my life around the fact that I might want to care for family members in the future? I guess that would mean prioritising saving for a bigger house over other expenses but I'm not sure what else I can realistically do?

Is anyone else having the same panic?

I'm 66. I'd rather die than go in a care home and I felt like this before Covid. It's about time we were given that choice.

Oh - and having a family member taking care of my hygiene would be even worse. There is no way I am at any stage going to live with either of my children

I've worked in one horrible care home, and one lovely one. I think the horrible one was £450 per week, and the lovely one was £1500 per week.

If I needed full time care than I would rather go and live in a care home abroad than the UK:
www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jan/12/families-sending-relatives-with-dementia-to-thailand-for-care

Care home abroad or dignity’s until we change the model here. I don’t want to sit in hard chairs in a Circle. The new model of little independent flats with a communal room and restaurant and then you have care up to 24/7 as needed. Separating married couples in separate rooms as men and women can’t be together.
But seriously, people need someone 24/7 not carers 4 times a day and no one always wants their child washing them after each toilet accident. There is no good answer.

I hadn't considered that my parents/grandparents wouldn't want me to look after them, but it makes sense that they might find it difficult .

I honestly don't know what the answer is .

Care in this country is atrocious.

I was put off care homes after seeing my great grandmother in several for a number of years. These were top of the range, paid for by sale of her London home, I think at one point paying £1800 a week. She was moved to several different ones as the standard was often so poor. We saw such decline in her in those years. Eventually she moved out to live with family and regained some weight, perked right up and lived a further eight (!) years without much decline at all before passing away.

Care homes wanted to take away her autonomy even though she had no decline in her mental faculties, this also removed her dignity, confidence an ultimately quality of life. Was all about making the lives of staff or the home easy, they wanted old people shut up and shut away. I think much of the crisis around care homes and Covid has proven that.

I just know that I wish more than anything that my mum was not in a care home right now. But there really is no alternative. She has no mobility so its neither safe or practical for her to be anywhere else. No easy answers here.