What are you proud of re your parenting? Boast freely!

[Chewingle]

A quiet morning here and chance to reflect on parenting that I’m proud of.

Yes, likely in reality that I had very little to do with it - but irrelevant to purposes of this thread.

And, needless to say.... I could start another thread on all my parenting fails?

But just for this thread - only positive.

1. My children are readers. As I write this, all reading. It is rare not to have at least one of them reading over the last year at home mainly.

1. They watch little TV (but do love a movie or some trash TV (moving in quickly)) and not interested in computer games.

1. Very sporty. Hugely so. And all represent their schools in top teams.

1. This makes me particularly proud - they are so polite, articulate and confident. They are great at conversing with pretty much anyone - from 92 year old neighbour to 5 year old cousin.

1. They are interested in the world, they are positive and hopeful and full of enthusiasm for life.

1. They are so affectionate and loving with me.

1. They are happy. Very happy.

Would love to hear yours?

Proud to still be breastfeeding at 21 months. It is hard going feeding a toddler.

@peachgreen so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful DD you have. I hope you are ok too

I think I always tried to emphasise that the most important thing in the world is to be kind to other people and that starts with your sibling and they do care for one another and look out for one another and both have lots of really nice friends with similar outlooks. Maybe I can claim that as a success.

The other thing I always tried hard with was to be interested in what they are doing at school etc, discuss it, look stuff up together, nurture interests. Now I notice teen DD will ask interesting questions herself and we have interesting conversations. She was happy to discuss her GCSE options on a very sensible way with us and even asked her brother for his opinion.

I have always tried to encourage exercise and healthy eating and I am pleased that whilst not hugely into sport they do walk and cycle everywhere and don't moan on long distance walks. They like quite a wide range of food and veg and DD can cook some simple tasty, healthy things for herself.

OTOH Neither are readers or sports players or musicians in fact they don't seem to have any proper hobbies at all. They will do some stuff around the house if prodded but could do better.

I have 2 teenage boys 14 & 16 that are honestly so far a joy to be around
They are lovely boys
Sometimes need reminded to clean their rooms and take cups down etc but apart from that they help around the house, walk the dog etc all without too much moaning
They are getting on with home schooling great even though it’s tough on them
I’m just so proud of them both !!

DD1- I'm proud of hard she tries. She isn't top of the class, or the sports star, or the child with all the lines in the school play. But she doesn't give up. She will spend two hours on a maths worksheet that others will do in 20minutes because she wants to understand. She will look up all her wrong spellings in her English as she wants them right. Those five words she spoke in the class assembly that time, in front of hundreds of parents.. that was big for her. So what if everyone else had a whole paragraph.
And I'm proud of her friends for accepting her and her difficulties.

DD2- stuff comes easily to her. But she will help anyone who needs it. That's more important to me than her other achievements.

I also got a sense of pride when people comment on how well mannered and polite they are.

I have a ds15 and ds11. I am proud that:

• family is important to them. They love their grandparents and get on well with their cousins, and us. They will both 'do' family time with no complaint.

• they are adventurous and brave - they'll climb trees, swim in the sea, and both play rugby with a fearlessness that makes me wince at times.

• they are fantastic eaters, love food and will try new things. Ds1 can bake a better cake than me and ds2 can cook a full meal (and regularly does.)

• they are individuals. I thought when I had 2 boys that they would fit a similar mould but couldn't be more wrong. Ds1 is articulate, academic and extrovert, whereas ds2 is creative, more introverted but very cool and individual.

That they all got to adulthood leaving me largely unscathed and they are all pretty nice people who I quite like having around (although that the majority have homes of their own makes it even better IMO)

Learning BSL, I’m still learning and probably always will be, but at the start I was ready to give up many many times.

Just coping is also something I’m proud of, I had zero experience with children and I wasn’t at all prepared, the fact that we are both alive and doing well is nothing short of a miracle.

That they are kind, empathetic and caring, and that they have the confidence to be themselves, which is no mean feat for a teenager these days.

@peachgreen
Your dd sounds adorable 💕💕

Thank you @Pieceofpurplesky and @ParkheadParadise. She is utterly wonderful and has kept me going through it all.

Peachgreen
I'm so sorry, I hope you're doing ok

@peachgreen

My two are very different but I’m proud of them no matter what!
Ds13 who has asd has been top in reading since he was 5. We were surprised as he didn’t really talk until he was 4 so when the teacher told me he was reading at year 2 level in reception I was very proud especially as I was the same at his age. He got beat up last year by a boy who bullied him for months it was because my son didn’t interact with him and told him he didn’t care. I was happy the way he handled himself because usually he can be very aggressive in stressful situations. He’s such a caring boy and although he doesn’t really show much emotion to outsiders he does to those he trusts.
He’s very tech inclined and savvy with computers. I love the way he watches everything. If we have builders or workmen he watches them, interested in what they are doing. I’m proud that his teachers have never had a bad word to say about him despite his difficulties with his autism.

Dd8
Even though she drives me nuts I love how independant and strong she is. She’s like the mother hen in her friends group always fixing issues.
Her teachers have nothing but good to say about her. They tell me they want 30 of her in thier class as her smile is infectious and she cheers up the whole class. She’s popular with her peers but doesn’t let it get to her head.
She’s good at art.
She’s good at maths

They both are good eaters generally, they have stuff they don’t like but for the most part eat most things.
I could go on....

I could say much about mine. DS acute wit and sportsmanship, DD's struggles to overcome her mental health. But what I'm proudest of is that they are coping so well with lockdown and studying from home when they can't be at university.

I love this thread.

I love that so many people have adapted to their children's different needs, and love them for the people they are.

My parenting changed a lot over the years. Initially I thought I had all the answers. I did not - I had to relearn how to parent with each unique child.

My very academic oldest wanted to go to a boarding school that she thought would meet her needs. I didn't think it would, but I allowed myself to be led by her. She spent a very happy four years there, and is now very happy at a great university that really suits her. She challenges everything I think.

My anxious middle child. I had to get used to being clung to the entire time (not easy - I struggle with sensory processing issues). She started school a year later than planned, struggled for the first few years, but is now a confident, happy 17 year old who I absolutely adore.

A youngest with ADHD, some processing issues, and for a while a lot of anxiety. Like many others in this thread, I had to learn a lot about what he needed, and change the way I parented, as well as advocating for what he needed. He's now, at 15, doing well in life and at school, his anxiety has gone, and he is happy and kind and makes me laugh like a drain.

I adore my kids. I really struggled when they were babies, whereas I've found the teen years much more fun. It's been the hardest but most rewarding thing I've ever done.

My two haven't been dealt the best/easiest hand in life at times but they are bloody amazing.
We are really close, we laugh everyday, have common interests, they are my best friends.
They are 16 & 19 and are both funny, kind, hardworking, respectful and just thoroughly decent beings.
I look at them and think despite everything I must have been a pretty good mum!