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Think I'm burnt out - from work and everything

22 replies

MajesticWhine · 13/02/2021 15:14

I'm feeling on the brink of tears and exhausted a lot of the time. I've taken on too much both at work and in personal life.
I have no boundaries, I work until late. I've been booking my days with back to back meetings and no respite. Then working late to catch up with emails and admin.
I'm not looking after myself and not taking enough exercise. I don't have my normal hobbies and social life to give me breathing space. My parenting is rubbish.
Can anyone relate? Help me stop and put in place a new regime for self care and serenity.

OP posts:
doneitcompletely · 13/02/2021 15:24

Passing the wine OP 🍷 unfortunately very much in the same club. I just yelled "I can't cope" at teen who spent the last 10 mins arguing at me as to why I was unreasonable in asking them to empty the bins

Completely burnt out. Long work days, homeschooling, the house is a tip, asking anyone to help results in meltdowns...no time for hobbies, I miss my friends, I miss seeing people.

All patience has gone, and I just want to hide in a quiet corner somewhere and have a good cry.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 13/02/2021 15:37

I feel exactly the same. I'm desperate for a holiday in the sun (I'm so pale and tired my lips literally have a blue tinge) but it doesn't look like it's going to happen this year, does it?

I keep thinking about taking a week off work but what's the point? All I'd do is sit around moping.

goingpearshaped · 13/02/2021 15:39

I'm in. Lost the plot with DD9 who shouted at me last night. I can't work any more (yet working now) and home school. I just cannot do this. DH works out of the house so escapes much of the meltdowns/arguments/crying. I am so down, I am seriously considering calling the GP. And as for work, that can royally fuck off. They do not care about their staff at all.

MajesticWhine · 13/02/2021 15:43

I've got this week off. I just hope I can somehow reset myself and start feeling calmer.

OP posts:
dreamsarefree · 13/02/2021 15:44

Feeling the same but the one thing keeping me going is carving out some time every day that I'm doing something for me and not the kids, DH, work etc. It's hard to do sometimes but it's paying dividends in having the motivation to then sort them all out, the house etc

Furrybootsyecomfy · 13/02/2021 15:52

Oh OP, I hear you. I “bubble” with my mum, dad and brother (who’s living with them during furlough). I don’t have any kids and live alone but am still working Monday to Friday in a hospital. I spend my whole week looking forward to staying overnight on a Friday and then spend the whole time being grumpy and sensitive, just a pain to be around. I hate myself for it. I miss my old life so much and just take my frustration out on the wrong people. You’re not alone Flowers

goingpearshaped · 13/02/2021 15:53

Good luck @MajesticWhine, I hope that helps. There is no chance of me taking off any of this week sadly as I think that would be helpful. too much teaching and meetings. I think it is a good strategy. I am close to signing myself off sick if this does not improve though, it's not sustainable.

MajesticWhine · 13/02/2021 15:56

@dreamsarefree - what kind of things if you don't mind me asking? I need inspiration.

OP posts:
dreamsarefree · 13/02/2021 16:02

I do a yoga video, only 18 minutes (free online) so no excuse not to do it, go for a short run

doneitcompletely · 13/02/2021 16:04

Ditto re taking some days off, got a couple of days off next week - also hoping for a reset. Thankfully half term is no school work. Don't care if the school has set anything and we will not be doing it. Need a break, we all need a break.

Good call re the carving. I'm going to elbow some me time into this week and dig out my carving set. I do find that art, particularly Lino carving helps me, just haven't had a chance to do anything in the last year.

dreamsarefree · 13/02/2021 16:04

But I do these things in peace and quiet and DH and DC very good at facilitating this (or not hunting me down) as they realise I'm much happier after some mental space

ShiteheadRevisited · 13/02/2021 16:04

OP, please see your GP. I was where you are now 5 weeks ago. All the textbook symptoms of stress - headaches, insomnia, gut problems, irritability, rage, crying ALL the time (I started switching my camera off for meetings as I couldn't trust that I wouldn't start crying), no decision-making ability, forgetfulness...I was so overwhelmed and was not a nice person to live with. My poor DH and DD (8) bore the brunt.

Anyway, my husband and best mate nagged me to see the GP, so I did. She signed me off work for 4 weeks with Stress and Low Mood. First time in my 20 year career that I've been signed off. She was just so lovely and supportive, as were my work. I've had 4 weeks to "reset" myself a bit, and yes there has still been homeschooling and all the domestic grunt work to do (husband also works shifts so I'm flying solo much of the time), but by removing a large part of that stress I have been able to catch my breath and recalibrate a bit.

I've returned to work this week - it's a phased return, 3 days this week, 3 next week and then back to FT. Workload is lighter and everyone has been so kind and supportive. I'm a bit older than my boss and colleagues- it's clear to me that the Millennials and Gen Z-ers are just so much more sympathetic than my generation to mental health hiccups - I was initially fearful of the affect on my career, but I realise now that a) that view is pretty outdated if you work for a half-decent employer, and b) I don't actually give a shit and that my health and my family's happiness is waaaay more important, and that I'm not going to lie on my deathbed saying "you know what? I wish I'd worked a bit harder".

See your GP, get signed off and give yourself a break. Thanks

goingpearshaped · 13/02/2021 16:10

That's so helpful to read @ShiteheadRevisited, I am glad that the phased return to work is helpful. This is me, I am not sleeping, angrry crying all the time. I did cry in a meeting the other day, it was humiliating (and the person was a very patronising dickhead but still). I will try and call the GP as I just cannot continue. I know your reply was not aimed at me. My DH also works shifts so feel similar. I did actually email my boss to say I was struggling last night but I don't anticipate a helpful reply.

MajesticWhine · 13/02/2021 16:19

I feel fortunate my boss is quite supportive. I haven't told her I'm struggling but I think she would be nice about it.
I don't think I need to get signed off just yet but I'm definitely headed that way if I don't change something.
Wow thanks everyone - it's good to share these thoughts.

OP posts:
orangejuicer · 13/02/2021 16:20

Some good advice here OP. I've been where you are and have to be careful that I don't get there again.

Do you need to schedule so many meetings? If so, could some of them be audio only? It really helps turning the camera off from time to time (assuming these are video meetings).
You need gaps in your diary to do admin and email.

Working decent hours will be a start.

Sleepingdogs12 · 13/02/2021 16:21

I resigned this time last year as I couldn't carry on any longer. I started to be rude to colleagues and pacing the floor at 4 am, feeling sick and tearful. I was lucky as I could just leave due to stage of life (finished paying mortgage, grown up children ). It has worked out for me, back at work now and coping well. In my case the management was awful , I wish I'd been able to address this or go off sick and play the system a bit but I just had to get out. I hope you can find the strength to put boundaries in place and get the right support. I can not believe that in the 21st century work is so damaging and toxic. I am hoping things will change in the future .

Phyllis321 · 13/02/2021 16:25

I’m very similar to Shitehead - got signed off 5 weeks ago absolutely at the end of my tether. Starting back next week gradually. Never had any issues before. Still not right but in a better place mentally (thanks fluoxetine!).
What I’m saying is, do you need an actual break rather than strategies to cope? There’s only so much one person can take.

Gufo · 13/02/2021 16:31

Absolutely feel this way. I also have a week off so will try to reset, forget work stress, get some sleep, and try not to go insane entertaining the kids. Some bright, dry weather will help, I'm sure.

CharlieD284 · 13/02/2021 16:58

@dreamsarefree

Feeling the same but the one thing keeping me going is carving out some time every day that I'm doing something for me and not the kids, DH, work etc. It's hard to do sometimes but it's paying dividends in having the motivation to then sort them all out, the house etc
Completely this.

Do something each day that's just for you and that makes you smile.

I buy good coffee beans and have a really good coffee every day. On the weekends I also have a cake. I also make time for exercise a few days a week. Sometimes it's just 30 mins but it clears my head then I'm ready to go back and tackle life.

dreamsarefree · 13/02/2021 17:18

Nice coffee and cake is also a winner. I've backed off from baking as not so easy to share with friends and family 😂 A bubbly bath is also a good easy way to step away. I'm not a big reader but have done a 6 month magazine delivery offer for something to look forward to.

MajesticWhine · 13/02/2021 18:55

Not being able to relax enough to read is always a bad sign for me. If I can read during my week off that will be really good.

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 13/02/2021 19:16

I dont have a school age child and I like my job and love my colleagues but I feel really run down. I love seeing friends and meals out and it's coming up to a year of this now.

I've been through quite alot of trauma, moved house and continued to work. I think it's just catching up on me. I ache for a drink and a giggle with friends.

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