Save the dates in what name?

[Fressia123]

It just occurred to me... When we send our save the date's (if things go as planned) we'd already be legally married. I plan to hyphenate my name (but not in any rush to do so...) should.input my maiden name or the hyphenated one in the stationary/invites?

Then it’s just a party?

Why bother with last names?

Married names if you will be married by then

Do people really send out save the date cards for parties?

Never see the point of them for a wedding, certainly not for a party, just send an invite, less waste on resources.

Erm. You're over thinking this

If it's a celebration party, then, Mr and Mrs SoandSo invite you to celebrate our marriage.

If it's a ceremonial wedding/service.

Mr and Mrs SoandSo, invite you to our wedding ceremony.

We just put our names ‘Bob and Sue are getting married, save the date’ although ours were for our ceremony before we were married. But it might just solve the problem?!

If it’s a later celebration use the name you’re currently using, so something like ‘Mr Fressia & Mrs Fressia-hyphenated invite you to celebrate their marriage’

I agree with PP who suggested making it clear on the card that it's a "celebration of [our] wedding", rather than an actual wedding. Rightly or wrongly, some people may feel miffed if they make a special effort to attend and then find out it's not a wedding. Persobally I wouldn't care, but I know people who would.

@StoneColdBitch

I agree with PP who suggested making it clear on the card that it's a "celebration of [our] wedding", rather than an actual wedding. Rightly or wrongly, some people may feel miffed if they make a special effort to attend and then find out it's not a wedding. Persobally I wouldn't care, but I know people who would.

I agree.

I’d make far more of an effort for a wedding than a party, I’d be very cross if it was made out to be a wedding and it was just a party, or worst a fake pretend wedding as they are already married

Well, aren't all weddings "pretending" really?

They're a religious ceremony (usually).

The people are married once the verbal contract is done, the rest of it is "waffle" and pomp. Then they sign the register, to seal the deal.

So it doesn't matter if you're legally married, before, during or after that ceremony, surely?

It's a religious wedding so not just a party.

So,it's a ceremonial one. Just say it's your wedding.

if the only difference is you won't have a registrar present or sign the books 🤷‍♀️

Just put whatever you want. I'd be inclined to put "you are invited to the wedding of Sophie and John on x date"

And the save the dates is because our venue sleeps up to 21 so we need to know who'd stay and who wouldn't.

I don’t get how it can be a wedding if already married. A party yes, a wedding no. I’d want to know that before committing to the expense of a hotel stay, time of work, gift etc.

@Fressia123

And the save the dates is because our venue sleeps up to 21 so we need to know who'd stay and who wouldn't.

Can't you just include the extra information about accomodation in with the invite? Or have you already paid for the rooms?

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I don’t get how it can be a wedding if already married. A party yes, a wedding no. I’d want to know that before committing to the expense of a hotel stay, time of work, gift etc.

Because a wedding is ceremony marking a marriage. The marriage is the legal joining of two people, hence the registrar and the legal wording.

The wedding is the ceremony that celebrates it and (in some cases) sanctifies it. It's the bit where people make their vows (they've already done the legal bit at the point, and this waffle allows the registrar time to ink
the registers

So, it doesn't really matter if the wedding is on the same day or 3 months later.

The verbal agreement and signing of the registry is the marriage.

I assume quite a few people will be having parties to celebrate a wedding that has already taken place due to all the restrictions in the last year.

Use your first names in the invite.