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Original poster

Do some people just hate work?

190 replies

newjobnewproblems · 10/02/2021 14:47

Except for maternity leave, I've worked full time or part time (when studying) since I was 16. I'm now 34.

I can honestly say I have hated all the jobs I've done.

First the temp jobs/call centres/supermarket jobs (mostly because they all involved customers getting annoyed with me). And then when I left uni I joined a large organisation on a grad scheme. And I have hated that too. I've tried moving around to different roles and specialisms which I feel are more suited to me but I usually just end up feeling like the grass isn't greener.

Is this just who I am? Do some people just hate work? It's my day off today as I've managed to go down to 4 days a week but I can't enjoy the time, I'm just depressed and miserable worrying about work.

I guess my question is do I just accept I'm the kind of person who will never enjoy work and try and make the best of it. Or is it worth leaving and trying to find something I will enjoy more. In the past my excuse was I was staying for the maternity pay but Idon't think I'm having any more children so no excuses left now...

OP posts:
Weirdnessabounds · 11/02/2021 01:27

Late 50’s and have worked since I was 16 have enjoyed elements of all the jobs that I have had over the years but not loved any of them. I retrained in my 40’s and that was okay for a while then I grew to dislike that. I work in order to pay bills that is all.
I have volunteered in a few different organisations over the years and that is what gives me satisfaction, I have choice of what I do and when and I think that is what makes the difference. If I won the lottery tomorrow I would stop paid work straight away but would still want to volunteer.

IsIgnoranceBliss · 11/02/2021 02:51

@Gliblet

Yes. I think you need to be pretty lucky to first have something that you enjoy (quite a bit of which is about your natural inclinations) that can be monetised and can bring in a living, and second to manage to put yourself in the right place at the right time, and at the right stage of your life, to get that job or opportunity.

I do think there's a lot though to thinking about what it is that you actually need your job to give you. Have you ever heard of the PERMA model? The idea with that is that you need certain things in life to feel fulfilled. Positivity, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Achievement.

It means you need something in your life that you feel positive about (not necessarily happy, but optimistic, enthusiastic, willing to learn about). Something in your life that you engage with (something absorbing that you can get lost within). Relationships in your life that support you (might be family members, friends, colleagues). Something in your life that gives it meaning (not by anyone else's standards, but by yours - doesn't matter if anyone else thinks it's important, but it needs to be important to you). Something in your life that gives you a sense of achievement (not by anyone else's standards, but by yours - it doesn't need to come with a qualification or a certificate, it just needs to make you feel proud).

A lot of people make the mistake of expecting one area of their life - their marriage, their job, a hobby or pastime - to give them all of these things. That's a pretty big ask, and it makes it hard to feel satisfied with any of those things, but if you can think about whether your job, or your marriage, or your hobby is doing ANY of those things then it can help to feel more positive about it and feel like it's contributing to your happiness.

The PERMA model sounds really useful - thank you for sharing it
IsIgnoranceBliss · 11/02/2021 02:55

@newjobnewproblems

Oh wow! Seems I'm not alone.

So the question is...what do we do about it? Other than playing the lottery obviously.

People always say life is too short, find another job etc. But feel like I've tried a fair few different roles and not enjoyed any of them yet so maybe I need to try a different approach of how to make my current situation work for me. Rather than thinking it's always better elsewhere...

Have you looked at FIRE - Financial Independence, Retire Early?
It’s about spending a lot less to save more so you can give up work early. The Mr Money Mustache Website is a good place to start.

Work might be more bearable if you knew there was an end in sight.

Defenbaker · 11/02/2021 03:28

@FlyNow

I think I'd like work if I was good at it, or even average. Unfortunately I'm bad at it. Not just my current job, but every job. I'm not smart, I have no common sense, I'm awkward, clumsy, forgetful, terrible social skills, just bad all around really. So I don't think work is for me.

My DH wouldn't mind if I wanted to be a sahp but unfortunately I'm also bad at that.

@FlyNow I think you're being too hard on yourself, you probably have lots of skills but haven't found the right job yet.

OP, I think lots of people feel that way, often because they weren't lucky enough in their early years to have the right sort of encouragement and education to land a well paid, interesting job, so end up drifting from one dead end job to another. I think early life chances are a big factor. Also, I agree with the PP who said that employers are asking for much more nowadays - they want qualifications, total flexibility and commitment for zero hours and minimum wage. People in low paid jobs are exploited by some unscrupulous companies, but due to high unemployment the employers have the upper hand. It's horrible.

I was made redundant in November and I doubt I'll ever find a job comparable to the one I had, which I enjoyed, for the most part, and I was paid a decent rate for it. I suspect when things pick up again they will take on somebody younger to do my old job, at a lower rate, with a job description that is just different enough to make it appear like a new role, but it will in effect be my old job, with less pay. The Covid pandemic was the perfect excuse for any employer wanting to get rid of long serving, decently paid staff. Ah well, I CBA to take them to a tribunal, and I know it would be nigh on impossible for me to prove it.

Coyoacan · 11/02/2021 03:35

What did you study at university, OP? Was it not something you were interested in?

I've had lots of jobs I've loved and I loved studying at university too, but I find a lot of parents tell their children that they need to get a certain type of job for the money or prestige rather than letting their children cultivate their passion.

workworkworkugh · 11/02/2021 03:54

You are not alone!
I hate working and have recently gone back to my old workplace, not because I love the work but because I really like the people there so it makes it easier to tolerate 4 days a week Grin
Ideally I would enjoy working for myself but I literally have no idea what I want to do nor any significant experience.
There is something that I would like to study, I'm quite passionate about it but there isn't the market for it in my small town and it's not something that could really be done online

Pyewhacket · 11/02/2021 04:06

@Igglepigglepeppaandgeorge

Yes I think so. That's why it's called work and not fun surely. Enjoying your job is a capitalist myth.
I have to disagree with that. I loved my job until March of last year. Even now I get a real kick when a patient can finally give me the thumbs up and I can tell his relatives he’s gonna be OK. I’m looking forward to the end of this pandemic so I can go back to my old unit but it’s been an experience. Personally I couldn’t work anywhere else. It’s sort of addictive. I’m sure Firemen and Policemen feel something similar.
Lemonlemon88 · 11/02/2021 04:18

I have a job I generally enjoy and I care about doing a good job. It is very fast paced which is what I really like in a job, I'm no good at long term projects. I am also a public servant and for me, I do find that my job does give me a feeling of giving to society and I think having a purpose like that helps too.

eaglejulesk · 11/02/2021 04:28

I've worked for over 45 years, and for most of that time I cannot say I enjoyed it. Even now, when I have a temporary part-time job which I do enjoy, I wouldn't do it if it wasn't necessary. A lottery win and I would never work again.

Crikeycroc · 11/02/2021 04:31

Low paid jobs you usually have when studying are the absolute pits. You get paid very little, have crap working conditions and are disrespected by the general public too. I hated all jobs like this.
I’m surprised you hate your post uni job though. Can you give us an idea of the industry and what you don’t like about it and we might be able to suggest a slightly different career path that still utilises your existing skills and qualifications.

Brown76 · 11/02/2021 04:31

Love my work, self employed, based around my interests, lovely clients, I’d still do it if I won the lottery, maybe even voluntarily, but would do fewer hours.

Changemaname1 · 11/02/2021 04:37

I love my job , it’s interesting often exciting and I work with an amazing team . ( of course I still have days that can be stressful or whatever )

I have never enjoyed another job like this , my old job for example I used to be wishing the days away - nothing particularly wrong with the place and had good friends there but just not the job for me

there isn’t really anything else I would want to do to be honest than my current job so am not one of the super positive love working types haha it’s just I love the job I have now

So maybe it’s not you op maybe it’s the field you are in isn’t for you ?

Porridgeoat · 11/02/2021 05:54

What are your interests?

What job roles have you tried so far?

Mxflamingnoravera · 11/02/2021 06:49

I resent work, I hate the idea that someone else has a call on my time. I've always hated work. I've worked full time since 1986 apart from 4 months mat leave when my son was born. I've hated every minute of it. I work in reasonably well paid, educational settings (not a teacher).

SnuggyBuggy · 11/02/2021 07:17

I just see work as something that I have to do to stop people from judging me as a workshy layabout. My first jobs didn't even pay a living wage so I couldn't even have a just doing it to pay the bills attitude.

I've never enjoyed any of my jobs and always find myself feeling really burnt out after the 2 year mark. I've moved and changed jobs a few times with gaps and can't imagine how people last 10+ years in jobs with just annual leave. Me and DH used to argue because he'd want to do 3 week long holidays but I'd be put off by how I'd have to then work for months on end with no leave.

Namenic · 11/02/2021 07:22

I career switched to a career and team I enjoy. I am lucky though as I don’t expect to love work (purpose is to put food on the table) - I just hope not to be too stressed out. I planned my career move for 3 years. Maybe look on jobs websites to see what is out there?

TheAirbender · 11/02/2021 07:23

I've accidentally fallen into something I really enjoy, but I recognise that the role's massive flexibility really, really helps how I feel about it. Would probably do a couple of days a week on it even if I won the lottery. Never, ever working in an office again though and I think many people feel the same. The fact that the pandemic has created many more homeworking opportunities is one good that will come from it, I think.

SnuggyBuggy · 11/02/2021 07:26

@TheAirbender

I've accidentally fallen into something I really enjoy, but I recognise that the role's massive flexibility really, really helps how I feel about it. Would probably do a couple of days a week on it even if I won the lottery. Never, ever working in an office again though and I think many people feel the same. The fact that the pandemic has created many more homeworking opportunities is one good that will come from it, I think.
I do wonder if flexibility would help me, none of my previous jobs have offered any flexibility and involved a lot of tedious micromanagement. Maybe there is hope for me.
SwanShaped · 11/02/2021 07:30

This is really interesting coz I’ve had jobs I’ve enjoyed and then grown not to love. Working as a support worker was great to start with. So interesting, met some amazing people. But then I go burnt out and the pay is shit. So now I’m trying to change career to something that is rewarding but pays a bit more.

Whatapalavaa · 11/02/2021 07:30

I also hate working and feel massively resentful. I've only been working full time for 6-7 years since uni and the though of 40-50 more years of this is enough to make me want to end it all. What a pointless life and then we pass it onto the next generation.

NinaMimi · 11/02/2021 07:41

Yes you sound very normal. Who I don’t understand are the people who win the lottery and still keep their job as a cleaner. Those people are crazy (or severely lacking in imagination).

TheAirbender · 11/02/2021 08:04

@snuggybuggy we have one hour long team meeting a fortnight and I write a monthly report of what I have done. That's it. So good.

IMO, more people need to be incredibly frank in their exit interviews/resignations if we are to change the culture of work. When you leave, tell them why!

TheJerkStore · 11/02/2021 08:09

I loath working. Apart from needing money it's a massive waste of time

Your job or work in general??

GaraMedouar · 11/02/2021 08:09

I’m in my early fifties and been in my current job in a multinational company in the Finance dept over 20 years. I hate it, but need to pay the mortgage, bills, support 3 kids as a single mother . I’m counting the days til retirement! But given I had my youngest really late in life I’m going to be nearly at retirement age before I can cut down.
I don’t feel I can retrain because of all the financial responsibilities I have, so sort of stuck here for the foreseeable. I do the lottery every week Smile

TheJerkStore · 11/02/2021 08:12

I do think that men seem to be better at bearing it. Many women look for meaning/purpose and there isnt much of that in the corporate world of BS.

Sorry but I completely disagree and think this often used as an excuse as to why there are far fewer women CEO etc......