How did you make new friends?

[merrygoround88]

I’ve found myself in a situation whereby I just don’t have many friends and I am feeling quite lonely and I am looking for some advice on how to go about making new ones. Funnily enough I didn’t struggle in uni etc but haven’t been the best at hanging on to friends and now find myself at a loose end a lot of the time.
To put it in perspective I have one good childhood friend, a good school friend and about 3 close uni friends and one close cousin. I’ve no sisters. However out of these 6, 4 now live abroad and 2 have had late in life babies so aren’t really all that available. This suited me whilst children were growing up and work was busy with travel etc . I also have quite a high maintenance family. But now I find I need companionship more and more

My kids are at an age where the school gate is over and although I certainly connected with many of the mums it didn’t develop into friendships.
I am not looking for necessarily deep friendships, just someone I can go for a walk with and shoot the breeze and maybe go for an odd coffee and drink / cinema / theatre trip with.

So if anyone did make friends later how did you do it, is there a secret or trick I am missing.

Also if a school mum out of the blue asked you to go for a walk, would you think them weird?

I sound like a desperado here but I am mindful that I need to build a life outside home and work and I haven’t been great at it !

Hi OP I understand. I wouldn’t think you were weird asking if I fancied a walk, I would be pleased! These days normal social interactions are so hard anyway so it’s great if someone reaches out.
I made new friends at yoga, we got chatting after class and went for a coffee. Are there any hobbies you would be interested in? I find hobbies are good as you get to do something enjoyable for yourself and you meet people you have at least something in common with; and it gives a common ground to talk about!
Interested to see what others say too.

Join a WI. Not your most local one, but one that meets your needs and offers what you want.

I've not even met some of my WI friends yet.

Definitely a WI.

i did volunteering at a cat rescue centre and in one of thier shops made quite a few friends from my connections to them, and my OH is a biker so we have lots of casual friends from the biker scene, a couple of friends from where i work but non of them are close lifelong friends more social see them when i see them, but im outgoing and talk to people first and come across as friendly so people talk back

@BrokenBrit My children are in a tennis club and I’ve joined that. I’m a poor player but once Covid is over, I could just throw myself into a round robin and try to make some pals !

@isseys4xmastinselcats Volunteering is actually a great idea - I have the time now.

I have moved a lot in my adult life and had to start again from scratch several times. Most of my close friends where I live now are Mum's from school or work colleagues.
I wouldn't think it was weird at all if someone asked me to join them for a walk or a coffee.. that's how all my good friendships have started. With a coffee or a drink and has led on to weekends away, nights out and lovely friendships. Go for it - if there is someone you think you can get on well with and conversation seems easy then ask them to meet up for a walk or to come round coffee (when you can obviously).
I've also made a few nice casual friends while out walking the dog - you see a few familiar faces everyday and get chatting, eventually you find yourselves planning on meeting up with the dogs!

All my friends have been made either through work or through hobbies. Doing a martial art was great for making friends.

Made friends via local NWR group (National Women's Register) and local Tuneless Tuneless Choir. Fun banter and social coffee . Both currently virtual on Zoom but they both do an annual weekend away where you can meet people from groups all over the country.

for me, it's mainly been through work and hobbies. i have also moved around a lot so needed to make new friends and not because i dont have any in general but because of living in many countries etc. i wonder whether the pandemic/wfh will also impact and change how people make friends now that more people will be at home rather than at work. so perhaps people will start getting more inolved in their local community.

i would definitely welcome a local mum or anyone else suggesting a coffee or a walk. i mean right now people are often lonely and i reckon would happily meet new people

Not the women's institute unless you're over 60. I've met friends online and reconnected with old friends in recent years.

@cherrypop86

Plenty of women's institute groups with a younger demographic. Mine included. Average age 40s. Our oldest member is 73 and tried out the other wi in the town and found she was the youngest member.

I’ve made two good friends from different gyms I’ve joined. I chatted to both women a few times and then one of us asked the other for a coffee or lunch snd it went from there.
If somebody I knew who I enjoyed talking to asked me for a walk I wouldn’t think it at all weird.
Even though I do have two friends whom I see for walks, a school friend who I message, a couple of other friends who I just message at the moment and a full household of people I’ve still found lockdown lonely at times.

I've made a couple of friends through parkrun. And I do a martial arts class with DS where I've made another. Plus a neighbour or two.

I exercise with one of them, gossip over the fence or on-line with the rest. They have kept me sane these last few months.

We relocated 150 miles away from anyone we knew and ended up making the two best friends I've ever had. One I stole from my next door neighbour after she introduced us and the other I met in Mush, which is a bit like tinder for Mums! 🤣

I have met friends at group exercise classes at gyms/clubs over the years.

Thanks all- it sounds like a need to get exercising and chatting !