Teenage daughter.

[Bel2018]

I have a 17 Yr old. She's always been quiet throught school. At secondary school she had a group of friends she would hang out with at break times but never had any interest in socialising with them outside of school.

She's into horses, speaks to girls down stables when she sees them. She is at college doing Equine, made a friend on course but if course they are not there, she has no interest in trying to send a text to see how this friend is. She also does work experience every Saturday at another stables, she says she gets nervous when she arrives every week but the it's OK.

Should I be concerned about lack of interest to socialize ( although can't face to face at the minute) she's been this way since start of secondary school. She's happy just being at home or with her horse.

I:ve suggested getting a little job maybe. I can see that fills her with dread. She's says she's happy, she gets awkward talking to people and doesn't know what to say.

Should I be worried or leave her be? I appreciate things are different at the minute but she shows no interest in keeping in touch with people.

Maybe she’s an introvert?

I would worry too, but perhaps she’s happier on her own.

If she was lonely or wanted to make friends but didn't know how then it would be time to think of strategies to help her.

But if she says that she's happy and hasn't given you any reasons to doubt her then I'd accept what she's telling you.

She's been able to make friends at school and on her course but just doesn't feel the need to contact people when she doesn't see them. She sounds like an introvert who's content with her own company. I really wouldn't worry.

Some people just don’t want a big friendship group, but I agree with you it’s good to have a few or life might get lonely later on.

I think a job is a good idea for social confidence - even if she doesn’t want to socialise much, she wants to be able to navigate the world - so I would keep encouraging that.

Is she quite young for her age? She might develop more social skills as she gets older. Keep encouraging her to get out there, just to learn how to deal with people.

I wouldn't say she young for her age, just not confident. She's at college, kept her work experience up throughout covid. She's got a paper round. She's a down to earth girl, causes us no trouble. She's very close to her dad. She reminds me of him when we first met 20 years ago, very shy around people. He's got a lot better of the years.

Will just do like you say gentle guidance.
You just want them to be happy, don't you.