If you have three DC....

[Ornamentalcrib]

How has it been? do you think your DCs 1 and 2 have benefitted from it at all? Do you feel judged by others? Trying to make a decision

Three or more DC I should say

I’ve got three. I poured loads of attention on the first one so I have constant guilt that there isn’t enough of me to do the same for other two. Lockdown has hugely affected this but I am highly irritated all the time by constant “mum mum mum”. I don’t have any time to myself, even when I’m just sitting here one of them is always touching me, I don’t feel like I have a body of my own tbh. I don’t want to put you off because there are times it’s magical to see them playing together and their little conversations but the small age gap and the lockdown is making 3 a kind of unbearable wall of noise and demands.

And aside from that, you’ll find a lot of things are set up for 2 children, 2 parent families. Holidays are a bit different, meal deals etc. But that is workable. Just make sure you have the support for 3 is all I’m saying x

I have 3, can't imagine life without the third, best decision ever as I was undecided for a while. Never felt any judgment from others and I loved it. But to each their own. I felt the children needed another sibling in case there were periods of life when they didn't get on with one. I felt a family of 4 was too "tidy" and I needed another! Never regretted it for a second. You have less time but never less love, it just grows, and they play with each other so the less time to have with each one is never an issue.

I have 3, now 18 (DS1), 13 (DD), and 11 (DS2) so no little ones anymore. Never felt judged, I think we had one or two jokingly said 'another one? But you have one of each already!' comments when I was pregnant but it never bothered me/us and no one has treated DS2 any differently. DD definitely benefitted from having a sibling closer in age when they were small, I think. But there was a little patch where the boys didn't really have much in common and I think DS1 (then 12 or 13) found 5-6yo DS2 a bit of an annoyance. It was a very short patch though, as soon as DS2 found an interest in Lego they were thick as thieves! All get along well, for the most part, these days. picklerick is right in saying be aware that things are generally set up with the expectation of 2 children, we'd never really thought about it beforehand.

Judged? No. Not even though I was single when I was pregnant with my third (found out after the split). He is a constant joy in my life and his sisters adore him. He's just turned 6 and they are 12 and 13. They squabble sure, but our lives have been enriched by his cheeky and adorable presence. He drives us all crazy at times but no more than how they drive everyone else crazy too. I think myself very lucky to have him as he was a total surprise and I never thought I'd be lucky enough to have 3 dc. I actually found the baby period easier as a single mum of 3 than as a first and second time mum when married and I breastfed on demand for 4 years
It's a choice only you can make ultimately but I wouldn't give a seconds though to what anyone else thinks outside of your immediate family.