Going back to work, days, nursery, etc

[LouisLitt]

I've only been on maternity leave a couple of months but have sent some enquiries to local nurseries and I think I kind of need to start thinking already about what I plan on doing since they are asking which days I want.
How to decide? I told my employer before I went on maternity I would most likely come back part-time. I have read a lot of the time when you do 4 days at work you end up doing full-time work except you're paid less. So probably 3 days working and my mum would do a day.
Any thoughts welcome. Is it better for them to do 2 consecutive days at nursery?

Hi, hope you don't mind me following along. I'm due back to work start of May & need to come up with a plan. Work haven't confirmed they have anything part time yet so it's a bit up in the air. Would love to see what others say.

When people used to come back to our work place, they all used to ask for 16hrs or less (something to do with working credits??) but I've been looking online and don't think that's "a thing" anymore.

Probably depends on your financial situation and job etc. I have worked 4 days since going back from my first maternity leave 9 years ago. My work are good and I don't feel like I work much over my 4 days but that could be different in other jobs. I would struggle to do 3 days as don't think i could do my role in that many days. Mine were in nursery/childminder 4 days a week and settled quickly.

I did three days - Monday/Wednesday/Friday, and my kids went to a childminder while I worked. I actually loved that work pattern - it was useful in that I never felt like I missed a big chunk of knowledge at work - if something happened that I needed to deal with, I'd know about it the next day whereas people that did mon-weds and had consecutive days out of the office were more likely to be looked over for stuff, as their absence was noticed more, it seemed.

From a kids perspective, it was also wonderful. When I picked my babies up at 6pm and had missed them hugely, it was lovely to always know I'd get to spend the next day with them. If they'd have been in childcare 8am-6pm Monday-Wednesday I would have felt like I never saw them for three days, whereas one day on one day off just worked so nicely in all areas

Also what's the deal with part-time and Monday, bank holidays etc?

I think it will depend on your situation but I went back full time, but compressed to 4 days a week, so I work 8.5/9 hours per day. Originally I was going to reduce my contact to 30 hours but I am now home based so I’ve found my working day isn’t longer, I just work when I would normally commute.

So what I did with my nursery was put my DC down for full time then said I would drop two days per week around a month before I returned to work, nursery were fine with that, it seemed to be the normal way to do it for them. So then a couple of months before I returned to work I spoke to my boss and asked which days it would be best for me to work because I had no personal preference, and then just advised nursery which 3 days DC would be attending each week (MIL has them one day per week).

The nursery days are not consecutive and I haven’t noticed any issues.

If you decide to do 3 days, I recommend not to work on Mondays. Most bank holidays fall on Mondays so although you still get the same amount of days off each year if you do/don't work Mondays, you have more flexibility to use those days on the days you actually want rather than having to use them on the bank holidays, if that makes sense!!

I've done both Monday to Wednesday and I've done Wednesday to Friday. Much prefer working Wednesday to Friday. Both because of the bank holiday thing, and also I like having a Monday and Tuesday to get things done after the weekend, it's much nicer than rushing back into working on a Monday after the weekend.

Three full days in nursery can be tiring for kids, I split it so my mother in law helped out with childcare on the middle day.

I am wondering if I could do 4 days of work compressed in 3 days, put baby into nursery for 2 and mum do 1 day.

I agree with the bank holiday thing and wouldn't choose to do a Monday. You will get the same number of days holiday but would have less choice on when to take them as bank holidays tend to fall on a monday

I found that the good nurseries only had Monday and Friday available for part time spaces, as they are the days no one wants to work, so the Tues - Thursday slots are booked years in advance. Be quick!
I work Tuesday to Thursday and it's perfect, I come in and do 3 days and that's that, I think breaking it up means you're always playing catch up (I do check my emails on a Monday night to be ready for the week, I'm happy to do this but wouldn't want to do it 3 times a week if I worked Mon / Wed / Fri IYSWIM).

Maybe it's baby brain but I am still confused about Monday...is it that you wouldn't get every BH Monday off if you work part-time and Monday is a work day?

Say for example you get 21 days holidays inclusive of a pro rata amount of bank holidays;

If your workplace is shut for a bank holiday then that day comes out of your entitlement.
If you don't work on a Monday you have the choice of when to take that day instead.

Yeah it's really confusing! Say for example you get 10 days leave a year which includes your annual leave and bank holidays. If there are 3 bank holidays which fall on a Monday and you normally work Mondays then you get those 3 bank holidays off plus 7 days to use when you choose. If you don't normally work a Monday, you have 10 days leave to use when you choose.

So you get the same number of days off work, but you have some more flexibility to choose which days you want off when you don't work bank holidays.

That's assuming your workplace is closed on the bank holidays. If not, you may be able to work a bank holiday Monday as a normal day if you wanted, so you wouldn't have to use your leave entitlement. But most nurseries also close on bank holidays so you'd need to have childcare sorted.

I think it very much depends on where you work. My work were very flexible and let me do what hours I wanted. I've also had the flexibility to up my hours over the last three years. When I went back I did 3 days with two long days totalling 28.5 hours a week. I was able to do this though with the industry I work in. I worked tues - thurs and so had Monday and Friday off which was nice as I felt it best to have days off in a row rather than break it up. My dd was in nursery Tuesday and Wednesday full day and Thursday half day initially from 10 months old (grandparents looked after her half day thursday) and her Dad would be there Tues and Thurs night whilst I worked late. Since she's got older and now almost 4 I've dropped one evening and work Mondays as well whilst she is at nursery. It has worked well but has all gone to shit during the pandemic though and I'm working from home since last March, so doing the same hours but we've had to juggle the half days Thursday as her grandparents haven't been keen on having her Thursday afternoons. I can't have her around whilst doing my job due to the nature of it (therapist, on the phone talking to very vulnerable people). This will hopefully change soon when had their second vaccines and restrictions lifted.

I would seriously look at putting their name down now for nursery, I live in a town with the highest unemployment rates and I still had to put my daughters name down a week after she was born to get a space.
Also a lot of nurseries don’t let you just do one day per week. It has to be two minimum.

@dementedpixie and @wintertime6 thank you, I get it now!! Ok right so it seems it would be good to have Mondays off work then but as you say probably everyone else has the same idea...
I have a very family friendly employer and know they are very keen I do return so would probably work with me to find a flexible solution.

@gingajewel

I would seriously look at putting their name down now for nursery, I live in a town with the highest unemployment rates and I still had to put my daughters name down a week after she was born to get a space. Also a lot of nurseries don’t let you just do one day per week. It has to be two minimum.

Yes, I started enquiring last week. I am looking at two, not sure if you misread my OP.

If possible I wouldn't do the nursery days consecutive for 2 reasons:

1. my DD doesn't nap at nursery, she's too nosey, so by 5.30 she's overtired and moody. The days being broken up make that much easier to manager as she does nap at home and on grandma day.

1. If they are ill with say stomach bug symptoms they need to stay home for 48hours after, if your days are consecutive that might mean you losing the full week

Thanks @Miarara some good points

@MarshmallowsOnToast have you started looking at nurseries yet?

From both a nursery and work perspective it worked best for me to spread it out across the week so neither had a big break before being back in again. This helps to settle in at nursery and at work I didn't feel too out of the loop with what was going on. For a short while I worked just Mon and Tues and by the time I came back the next week I found it hard to keep up with what was going on and felt very left out of things socially.

I worked 3 days for about 13 years. In that time I had several different patterns due to work requirements. Dc had 2 days at nursery, one with dm.
I found it best for me and dc if my 3 days were together. For dc they were in a routine. For me and work I felt more of a flow than when I worked split days as after every day I had off I'd spend several hours getting back up to speed before I could start my work. Both nurseries (different dc) I used found children that went to nursery on consequtive days settled better at first. I did find as dc got older they liked knowing what was happening on what days so as long as it was a set pattern each week it didn't matter so much what days I worked.

Thanks all I suppose it will largely depend on availability of nursery.

Finding nurseries very slow to get back to me!

Near us you would struggle to get into a nursery that's good with so little notice. Part timers have to fit where there is space..as PP stated more nurserys seem to have space Monday and Fridays.

Do you actually know for certain that work will allow you part time? Will you be able to pick the days or will they be assigned? I think it'd be helpful to sort that first and then nursery place... But either way quickly.. Unless returning in Sept which is often best time to get in... As rooms move up as eldest start at school.
I've always worked full time (3 days nursery, 2 grandparents) but would hate my working days split through week Mon, wed, Fri but think this would likely have been best for baby as found days together exhausting.