Herpes - and periods

[PPNC]

Name changed as I’m still ashamed of the stigma of diagnosis!

I was diagnosed with herpes after a rape. Probably had it for years but it was picked up as I got a coldsore genitally and was going through intense testing over 6 months. Wish they’d never found it as now I link it to the rape and don’t feel I can ever date again. Even though data says around 39% of women carry it genitally and 89% of the population have it orally.

Anyway I’ve never had any symptoms but have been run down in lockdown and have had 2 “outbreaks”, itching that goes away after a couple of days really so the symptoms are totally ok, the mental effects not so much. They have both been straight after my period and I think hormone changes/stress and using pads are irritating my skin.

I wondered if anyone else on here has had it and if they found an alternative to pads/tampax helped? What alternatives are there?? I need this to not happen every time and have always been sensitive to pads, even more so now they have added the stupid bloody scents to them!

Any ideas? Not sure I can cope with this every month. And please don’t judge me for carrying the virus I feel shit enough about it every time I hear a stupid joke on American TV :(

I was actually diagnosed not long after DH and I got together, it felt pretty devastating to me at the time and I just remember him supporting me through that, I'm not sure there was much room for his reaction if that makes sense but it's obviously something he's come to terms with as we've been married nearly 17 years

I was scared he'd leave me at first, while I was going through the whole shame/disgust thing we all seem to do when we're diagnosed, but we've talked about it since and he's genuinely never seemed bothered by it. We avoided sex whenever I had the slightest tingle that might indicate an outbreak coming and that could be difficult for both of us at times but that's the only impact it's had, he doesn't seem to view me differently because of it and has never seemed worried about catching it, which he hasn't by the way.

I'm aware that's different to being single and having to tell prospective partners but it does at least prove that not everyone sees it as a dealbreaker, it was plenty early enough for DH to walk away when I was diagnosed but he chose not to. It will take time for you to come to terms with it OP and it's obviously complicated by the connections it has for you but it honestly won't always feel this awful, there is life, and relationships, after. Ask away if there's anything else I can help with, PM if you prefer

I don't have herpes, but have an autoimmune disorder that causes me to frequently get ulcers "down there". I take the pill back to back, the idea of having a period and an outbreak at the same time unthinkable atm.