Does a hospital bed at home need access both sides?

[Toorapid]

I'm going to be on a steep learning curve, never cared for a very sick person before.

We're fortunate in that we have a few options of where a bed can go. DH will be completely bed bound, so where's best?

We could move one of the sofas out of the living room and replace it with the bed. This has the advantage of being where I sit in the evening and a comfortable place for DC or any other visitors (when allowed) to keep him company. Also the big TV, but no view. The bed would be against the wall.

We also have an extended dining room. One end has dual aspect windows overlooking the garden. It would be more squashed in there, but could be done with access on both sides. No other furniture would fit though. Currently 19yo DS1 uses that end of the room for his xbox, which is nice because it means he's "around", but it can be shut off so we don't hear the noise. It could be moved to his bedroom, but then we'd never see him - he works FT, so hes not always there.

DS2 has his PC set up in a downstairs study. That would also make a suitable bedroom, more private, more isolated, no view. Bed could have access both sides and there'd be room for a chair. DS2 is wfh currently and has a very small bedroom.

I've never allowed gadgets upstairs, which has been good because DC are never shut away in their rooms. They don't seem to have realised they're now old enough to make that choice themselves or if they do, they prefer to be downstairs. When DH comes home, I imagine there are going to be times when they want to escape from it all. If we put the bed in the living room, they can do that to their usual places. Elsewhere they'd have to go upstairs.

Where would you put the bed? I'm going to get a million different answers aren't I?

Your DH is going to have double handed care, which is very difficult to do if you can't access both sides. The carers will need to be either side of him to help roll him when they carry out his personal care and when they change the bed. As long as there is space to pull it out and have room at either side for the carers, it can be pushed against the wall when they are not there.
The other thing to consider is if he's going to have input at home ru try and get him transferred into a commode or chair. I know he's not well enough at the moment, but if that changes, you'll need enough space for the chair / commode next to the bed, and for the "turning circle" of the equipment used to help him transfer (hoist, standing hoist etc).
I know you've not had the best experience with the OT, but she is the one who should be explaining all this to you. Ask her if your area provide Wendylett sheets. If not, consider buying some. They are special silky sheets that double as a sliding sheet and are great for supporting care in bed with the least disruption for the person being cared for. And if your DH gets stronger they can also help him with his bed mobility without the need for two carers if he just wants to shift his position on the bed.
Good luck @Toorapid

You do need to speak to the OT and find out what other equipment he will have. Has the care plan been agreed?

If the plan is to hoist him then the plush dining room carpet may present a problem even if the bed does not have to be moved.

Lack of privacy in the living room may be an issue - could be go in there and then you and DS use the dining room as a second living room for when he wants to nap or you need space?

OK, I think, assuming it fits, we'll go for the dining room.

DS1 can move his xbox to the living room, he works shifts so most evenings the TV will still be available for me and that way the TV he currently uses with the xbox can stay in the dining room for DH and me. Not sure what it's attached to, probably only internet, but that's OK.

I currently work in the dining room on my wfh days. That might be nice but if it doesn't work, I can use DH's office upstairs.

It means DH can be in the room with us when we eat too. I think that will be a good thing? Although he'd have his back to us if he's facing the windows.

Can you take the dining table out? I had got the impression, when you said there was little space, that there was little space even with the table removed.

Or we can eat in the kitchen. Very small table that just about fits 3!

Have to say, all these options make me feel very fortunate.

We had my MIL in the living room when the head side again the wall.
Both sides were accessed all the time. My MIL could only lay on one side too.

@Lemonsyellow

Can you take the dining table out? I had got the impression, when you said there was little space, that there was little space even with the table removed.

It's a long narrow room, two rooms into one really. It's a very large heavy table. I really don't have anywhere else to put it, but the shape of the room wouldn't lend it to becoming a sitting area near the bed anyway.

I think you’re right, the dining-room sounds like the best option. As others have said, access to the bed is required on both sides. There will also need to be a socket nearby to plug the hospital bed and the air mattress (if your DH needs one). Hospital beds (known as profiling beds) are a similar size to a standard single bed.

I support patients and their families in the process of being discharged from hospital in a very similar scenarios. Most patients choose having their bed to be able to look out of the window if at all possible. It’s also important for the family to have a separate living space downstairs, again if possible. Your DH may be sleeping a lot, he will have carers attending to his personal care regularly and it’s likely that you’ll need your own downtime and somewhere you can relax. A chair in his room is a good idea for family to sit and chat.
Once he is home, you could ask for a community OT to come and review the set-up. I’m not sure of the specific circumstances of your DH but it’s possible he may be able to be hoisted out of bed into a wheelchair or chair in the future. An OT can advise you on this and organise appropriate equipment. Wishing you all the best.

Unfortunately it doesn't sound like it's a feasible option with practicality of care and privacy etc, I'm really not wanting to be negative but it might be worth looking at a temporary care home however make sure you're down as his legal advocate so you can maintain contact and visitation throughout any future lockdowns etc

Personally as an OT I that situation I would suggest the living room. Space to get all around, TV when he wants it, room for company when he wants it, privacy and a view. I would consider making the dining area or office into more of a snug then when he wants company, isn't being washed, dressed, toileting or sleeping etc there is room for you to be with him. When he needs peace there is somewhere for you and dc to go. Even if he is bwdbound he will need to get into the house, probably on a stretcher so OT needs to ensure there is access. He will then need to get into the bed so likely to need a hoist for this which probably needs a four foot turning circle which may be difficult in the other rooms. On another note, I would consider a baby alarm or a cordless doorbell so he can contact you overnight.....you are unlikely to be able to do anything physically, but can offer reassurance. If he is being discharged from hospital and the OT is being unhelpful then you need to ask for another to help. They are wrong, I always advise hospital beds probably 6 inches bigger all round than standard single. If you have anything more than a basic pressure mattress people seem to find double sheets easier to fit than single. You should definitely ask for an access visit from another OT if they sadly are not helpful.

Sorry, no view in living room but more room for interaction which may be better especially if he remains confused

We had my parent at home in a hospital bed before they died and they were in the living room with us. For company, for visitors, because we had spent our time there as a family and we wanted them in there with us.
It wound have felt wrong to put them in another room on their own.
The beds easily move over carpet so if you can put him in the living room with just some room to pull it out that would be good.
If not, care can be done from one side.
Put your DH first, the carers wound understand this. Ours were brilliant. Good luck

Definitely access both sides is a priority. He's likely to need 2 carers to turn, give personal care etc and that really can't be done with access only on one side.

I also think that whilst you will obviously want to sit with him you will also want your own space to sit and watch TV etc as will the boys

I'm not sure if your carers supply these, but I bought a box of disposable pad sheets to put under the patient to save washing and changing the bed sheet several times a day.they are around 60cm x 60cm and very useful. Also sponges on sticks to keep the mouth hydrated when the patient could dip from a cup easily.
Music or radio next to the bed. hospital style tables which wheel over the bed can be good.
Good luck OP. I think of you and your family.

I think it's such a difficult personal decision but, not to put too fine a point on it, it depends how near the end things are.

My mum died a week after coming home. I worked very hard to make everything how she liked it. Considered the view, TV, radio, favourite toiletries, flowers, all her personal things around her, even moved all the clothes into the wardrobe that she never wore. She did appreciate it for a few days and said how lovely it was but after that she was too far gone to notice I'm sad to say and practical matters were to the fore ie space for carers and equipment.

She was lucid for a few days, then very confused and then unconscious. What mattered most in that time I think was the ability for all the family to sit with her. Together at times or separately and equally for us to have breaks too. I find it hard to this day (a few months on) to go into the room she died in and I am very glad it wasn't the main living room. I don't think it's selfish to admit you and the boys have your own needs and might need a space apart.

It's a personal thing though. You might feel completely differently but I just wanted to say that I found at the end there was almost no distinction between her needs and others needs. What made us able to cope was good for her. She always wanted not to be a burden like your husband said.

@user1485291191

Practically for nursing, access needs to be to both sides of the bed. As a side thought, depending on the mattress, if there is a fire in the room the fire should not be used and there will need to be electric sockets nearby. Being overlooked by neighbours might not be a good idea for your husbands privacy

Why should the fire not be used?

Also, while neighbors overlook, presumably curtains can be drawn? My dad's bed was in front of the window and everyone walking past waved at him. I did worry about how they felt the day they passed by and he was no longer there but I made my mum keep the curtains shut until the empty bed was collected.

Also sponges on sticks to keep the mouth hydrated when the patient could dip from a cup easily.

We were told these had been banned and you have to use a damp flannel now, due to patients clamping their mouth shut on them and choking on the snapped off sponge.
Our carer brought some but we had to hide them when the district nurse came.

If I do have one complaint, it's that it seems most unreasonable to ask me to bring him home when I can't visit him. I have no idea, really, what he's going to be like or what he's capable of. Doctors are telling me he's lucid face to face, but he's not on the phone, so I can't talk to him about what he wants.

I agree. It’s exceptionally hard. I’m shocked really that it’s happening like this, but I’m not a medical professional. If he’s going to be at home with you for up to two years, it’s a long time to consider.

Nope, my mums bed was up against the wall, just pulled it out slightly to lift a d turn. Was very easy hospital beds easy to move.

Is the dining room wide enough to turn the bed around at different points in the day, so he can sometimes look out of the French doors and other times face into the room, or at least sideways on?

I had been thinking DH would want to be in the living room, to be more 'part of things' but actually he didn't. He felt it would be too much for him, and wanted to be in the (emptied) dining room. So the hospital bed was put in there, and we invested in an extra TV for him to use. There was room for a chair and access each side, so we were able to spend time with him, even if it was just sitting reading so he had some company.

It was absolutely the right decision. When the carers and nurses were in doing his personal care, it was right that he had his privacy and his own room. It wouldn't have felt right him being in the living room.

..and to add that for our daughters, it was nice for them to make that room a bit special for him. One of them quickly printed up some of his best photos (he enjoyed photography) and put them in nice frames on the wall, and the other found things that they had made for him as children, or souvenirs they'd bought him, and arranged those on a sideboard and the windowsill. They made the room his, and it made a difference.

I've just read your last update. You need to speak to someone, but I don't know who. Hopefully someone else will advise you

contact your local carers' centre.
they can be very helpful.
they are for family/friends unpaid carers, as distinct from careworkers.

carers.org/help-and-info/carer-services-near-you