When was the last time you were truly happy?

[Bellabluea]

Just that feeling of utter contentment and joy.
I just realised that I haven’t felt it in years.
That’s sad isn’t it?
I’m not depressed as such. Just empty and not happy.
I think I felt it when my youngest were babies. We had no time to ourselves and I barely slept but they just brought me so much joy.
I can’t image having that feeling again.

I'm contented at the moment - but my moment of joy was last week, cuddling my toddler grandson to get him to have his daytime nap (we are his childcare while his parents are at work). Got the issues around Covid restrictions like everyone else to feel down about, but try to count our blessings.

I actually do not know
I think worthy and anxiety have overtaken everything.

I don't know either, if I'm honest. Even on good days I feel like theres an undercurrent of fear and worry just lurking under the surface, and never far away. I'm also afraid that one of these days any luck I have will run out and disaster will strike

2015. I've been through a lot since then, and it's changed me.

Romeo - how old is your teen? We went through a few challenging years when DS was 14-17 but we got through it and he is a charming young man now (see my earlier post about chess).

I do remember those years though, sending you strength. .

On a walk in the sunshine yesterday with ds2 nattering to me about mine craft. Or last night curled up on the sofa with dh and the DCs eating chocolate and watching a film together. Or this morning reading my book in bed with a nice cup of coffee.

I am generally quite an upbeat person and definitely agree with the pp who said if you wait for perfection you'll never be happy. I try to find happiness in small things. Dh and I use the expression 'I'll take that as a win' quite regularly which is a bit cheesy but kind of means amongst all this shit we've got to grab a bit of happiness where we can. Dh suffers with anxiety and depression and has worked extremely hard over the years to be grateful for small successes. I think I've got better at it too.

When I was younger I was terrible for nostalgia and thinking things could never be as good as they were at some other random time in the past when they probably weren't that great anyway. It's not a healthy way to think.

To go back to when I was truly, purely happy, I'd have to go back to being a child. Most probably Christmas Day when I was 8ish. Before the magic started fading, when my family all still spoke to each other, and we had the most fantastic few days between Christmas Eve and the beginning of January. That was pure happiness, and then returning back to school and seeing my friends was so exciting!

I recently realised that it's actually not normal to feel the way I do, which is basically flat and empty, not looking forward to anything, all the time. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and have been on medication for the past 5 weeks. I feel that perhaps I may be able to be happy again at some point. I certainly hope so.

I have only just got up, been snuggled in my nice warm bed reading and drinking coffee, for last couple of hours, that makes me happy after getting up early for work rest of the week
House is lovely and peaceful, just me and two teenagers, l am going out for walk to supermarket to buy dinner, that makes me happy that l am able to do that, when people currently in hospitals begging for their lives, and in the past l have had money worries, so it's a relief to know l can actually feed my family.
Later on l am going to start off some flower seeds, l have a huge flower garden , that also makes me happy, to envisage my garden full of flowers again.
Don't fall into the victim mentality, he grateful for what you have, you will feel a lot happier. Gratefullness is the antidote to misery.

I find this post so very sad and had no idea that so many people weren’t able to find happiness in their day to day lives.

As PPs have said, I think gratitude is at the root of contentment. Even when things are shit, if you think of or write down things that you’re grateful for I would hope that most people could name a few? We have always asked our children at bedtime what their favourite thing about the day was which they then thank God for (we’re a Christian family but just being grateful for it would also work). It’s a nice way to end the day and something I try to do for myself too.

I agree that gratitude is really important. I read a quote recently, ' What if you only had tomorrow what you said thank you for today.'
It struck a chord with me. I've always counted my blessings, but now I'm more specific in counting them, if that makes sense. So I am grateful for my husband and all he does so I now make sure I tell him. If this last year has taught me anyway, it's that I'll never take anything for granted again. Life really is so precious.

I'm happy most days. I find pleasure in the simplest things. Yesterday my granddaughter and I got caught in the rain, so we ran home, laughing all the way.
Also, I am not letting this virus beat me ! I'm too stubborn, so am not going to let it depress me. It doesn't mean I don't feel sad or empathetic towards others and their struggles. I keep them in my prayers.

I really like being at work. I have such a nice time - it keeps my mind so busy i cant worry about all the home stuff.

I find joy in the small things. My inner 'core' happiness is constantly refuelled by birdsong at dawn, silly kitty behaviour, the sound of my teens laughing together, Long, silly conversations with my sister on the phone, time in the surrounding countryside we are fortunate enough to live / walk the dog in. All sorts of everyday things.
All the big events / achievements, life disasters et al are surface joys / annoyances. They only affect me for a while as long as I have taken care of my core happiness.

Pretty much every day since WFH. I am also grateful for my health, husband, and our home together. (Which isn't to say I'm never sad or scared, but generally I'm more positive than not these days.)

Never, quite honestly.

There have been a few up points. But it's always been marred by other shot going on. Even as a child.

I would love to experience being truly happy.

30 minutes ago. I sat outside in the sunshine which definitely felt like spring in my coat and sunnies, drinking pink cremant, reading my book and playing with the dogs. Total treat. Felt content.

Thank you for your stories.
In the last year I’ve had many challenges which have knocked me down. I actually am an optimist and I do find some happiness but it’s not that true beautiful sense of happiness I remember feeling. More a fleeting ‘this is nice’ with an underlying sense of emptiness that I can’t shake.
Many people say they can’t believe I’m still going. Maybe I just haven’t dealt with the things I’ve been through - my daughter has an ED and I’m recently separated.

Ironically I’m training to be a counsellor

Gosh, I don't think I've ever felt "utter contentment and joy". Life is too nuanced for that (is that the right word?) as far as I am concerned. I am usually happy about some aspects and less happy about others - and sometimes downright unhappy about some. But in all these scenarios I think I am content.

My life just "is" and I celebrate the fact that I exist at all, in whatever circumstances I find myself. For me, simply being alive is pretty amazing and a phenomenal privilege.

Now. Just had a good roast dinner with dh and the kids, all day around the table chatting an laughing and now me and him are sat chilli g on the sofa watching our programme with a brew and ideally flicking through here.

I find happiness every day, lots. It's a state of mind, #halfhope has it right, find things to be grateful for and you'll find happiness, and live in the now not the past or the future, they're not here.

1992, just had the results of my finals, felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, the future looked rosy.

Thanks halfhog it was something that really came home to me yesterday that gratitude was the key. I'd been reading about finding the good in things and how continually finding the good rewires your brain: 'neurons that fire together, wire together'. But gratitude is a step on from that - it really helps you internalise the good. I've been making a real effort today to be grateful for even the smallest things. Have bought the Wild book on being extraordinary just now. Grateful for all the input on this thread too.

Sorry the book was mentioned on another thread. Be extraordinary by Jennifer wild.

About 6pm tonite. I'm easily pleased. The unintentionally doing 360s got me in giggles.

Also had me LoLing was a long thread I read this morning on Twitter about economics.

Deep down overwhelming happiness about my life, I'd have to go back to 2001 probably, for that. I don't mind this.

@DinosApple

I feel happy a few times a day really, if the sun is shining, or I notice some new flowers are up or hear some birdsong. Those things make me happy.

When I'm at work (I'm a TA in a reception keyworker group) I put on a Just Dance for a bit of an energy burn when they are fidgeting after having had to sit for a while. I always chose upbeat songs and throw some shapes too. That makes me happy.

Don't get me wrong, there's been some really tough times in the last few years, personal, financial, huge work stresses (pre TA), bereavement, worrying about my children (one SEN) etc.

If I had to wait for life to be perfect I'd never be happy.

This.

Happy right now. It's cold out and I am on the sofa by the fire with a beer. My happiness is in moments, requirements are fairly minimal, so my happiness is often.

1997. Mind you, it only lasted for an evening.

I don't really expect to be truly happy ever again.

Late teens. I'm 47 now.