I’m in a similar situation to you OP - work full time over 4 days and have DD who is 3 and at nursery on my work days. DH works full time. I’m also a natural procrastinator so I’ve had to train myself. Things that have helped me manage:
Housework - I have a weekly routine with the bulk of it split over two of my days off (1-2 hours at a time). DH will keep DD out of the way if he’s around. I use flylady (adapted to fit my own life) but there are other systems you could use.
On work days I do the bare minimum - a load of laundry before work, quick wipe of the toilet and sink, kitchen sorted and a 5 minute tidy before bed.
We have one weekend day a month which we designate a ‘productive’ day and do any DIY type things.
Also, we did a big declutter a couple of years ago. I’m ruthless with what I buy now and I am far more organised and tidy than I used to be. It’s honestly quite life changing.
Meals - when I went back to work after mat leave we decided I would do most of the housework and laundry and DH would do the bulk of the cooking (he does the nursery run, gardening, bins, car stuff and cat care too). We roughly meal plan together on a Sunday but he is responsible for the final decisions and making sure we’ve got the ingredients. I do a couple of big grocery shops a month based on his list because I quite like it and can eat chocolate in the car in peace but most of the top up shopping falls to him. We do a big pan of soup, a salad, jacket potatoes or pasta bake type thing on a Sunday night to do most of our week day lunches, and I prep overnight oats for breakfasts.
Organisation - I have a few hours of planning/ordering/admin type things one night at the start of every month. Birthdays I do one order at the start of the month for any gifts, and get the cards, and any wine or chocolate during my supermarket trip. I try and wrap on the day they arrive and have them ready in the hallway to deliver when necessary. DH does his own side.
For things like insurance and other admin I have a reminder on my phone and they get sorted at the start of the relevant month. I use notes on my phone loads for example I have a list of things I need to buy so whenever I’m doing an Amazon order or something I look at what else I need and add it on. I add things to the list as soon as they pop into my head.
Sunday nights I sort work and nursery uniforms for the week, pack bags, make sure we’ve got enough clean socks etc. Takes half an hour including ironing anything that needs it.
DC clothes - I do two big orders a year of the basics for winter/summer, and I generally order what I know I already like. I mainly buy H&M and buy the same tights etc each time, little thought required. If she does need extra bits prt way through the season I’ll usually order stuff in the next size up at the same time. I sometimes buy a year ahead if there’s a good sale on too.
To me it sounds like you need to be more confident in your decisions. Honestly, there’s no right answer, you can’t get it ‘wrong’. I used to be similar but I’ve realised no one cares and if something doesn’t turn out to be perfect it really doesn’t matter. I’ve gone a bit too far the other way now - I get a lease car through work and last time I didn’t even test drive before I ordered. My Dad was horrified, but as long as it drives I don’t care. It’s not a life changing decision.
I can relate to struggling with decorating decisions. I was so sick of choices when we renovated that we just painted everywhere with basic Dulux white, and have gradually added colour as we’ve needed to re-do rooms.
Don’t be scared to drop your standards, you have a lot on your plate. You sound like you’re doing ok to be honest. Ignore Facebook posts. They are rarely the reality.
My final piece of advice is, designate a few days annual leave for days when DD is at nursery and DH is working so you have time to yourself. Even just a couple of times a year. I do it and feel no guilt. It keeps me sane.
(Apologies for the massive essay... I’m procrastinating from doing the dishes 
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