Do you ever look at a video/ photo of yourself and feel so ugly?

[Zubes]

I just watched back a recent video of myself & I'm actually horrified if that's what I look like in real life to others :-( I'm 23 & it's so depressing to think I'm basically in my best years "looks" wise. It's only going to go down hill from here!
I have a partner, and our relationship is good so I feel like I can't be that ugly.
Watching that video of myself has actually put my in a bad mood and I feel like sitting here crying because I feel so ugly.
I thought being in your 20's is supposed to feel and be the best time of your life?!
Just looking for words of advise please. I feel terrible.

I do, yes.

But if it's any consolation to you I looked at my absolute best in my mid 30s. I looked pretty rubbish at 23 with no idea of 'my' style.

I'm now mid 50s and obviously don't look the best I ever had. But I still scrub up ok. (I would still hate to watch a video of myself, however).

I have always felt like this and, when I look back, I realise I was lovely... it’s perhaps more about some inner sense of not being ok - a self criticism which is not based on reality. Can you try and note it without believing it as gospel? A sort of ‘there I go, criticising myself again..I wonder why I do that...’

If it’s any consolation, yes I see photographs and videos of myself where I think I look terrible, really really unattractive. I am aware I’m not. I think the thing is to remember that actually it’s not all about physical appearances. We are all a lot more important than that!

OP don't assume these are your 'best looks years' I look far better now in my early 40's than I did in my teens 20's and 30's. I am also very unphotogenic, but I like what I see in the mirror, am a good friend, person. have a loving husband and family. In short, don't be so hard on yourself! xx

Yes - I think most people do. We are used to looking at ourselves (unconsciously) in particular ways, at particular angles in the mirror, so when you are taken unawares on film you look different and you instantly see any flaws as magnified x100. How you appear to others won't be how you appear to yourself because others won't be zoning in looking for flaws.

Agree with the others ...
I looked a bit all over the place at 23.
My prime was 28 and up
and my thirties ...

Beauty is so subjective anyway to others .. it's how you feel about yourself that counts.

Oh and the whole '20's are the best decade' is BS, it varies from person to person. I loathed mine, I found out I would never conceive naturally. Luckily IVF worked for us, subsequently, my 30's-now have been the best years ever,

Yes I've always felt like this. Safly now at 45i
I've no photos of myself with my kids,when they were growing up as I avoided the camera from age 25 to 40.
I still think I'm repulsive but will have pics with my kids (now grown up) because I'm aware there are no past photos of me amongst our family albums.

Thank you for your lovely replies.
I am definitely very self conscious, not of my body or figure, just my face. So I know this definitely clouds my vision.
It's reassuring to know that some of you didn't feel your best until your 30's +. There's still time yet for me haha.

Yep. I hate doing FaceTime, Zoom etc

This seems to be a revelation to you which leads me to tell you: learn your angles!!

Straighten your back, lift your head a little (no double chin) but not too much otherwise it looks weird. When someone is taking a photo, don't look straight ahead and smile. I do this thing is like a hufff through the nose as if I'm making myself laugh a itty bit occasionally so it's not a stiff smile. Yeahhhh I know it sounds strange but now I enjoy photographs

All the time. Hence why I'm usually taking the photo rather than in it...

It's not helped by not looking in the mirror so in my mind, I'm in my 20s still, rather than the reality of a slightly gruesome mid 40s version staring back at me.

I had a particularly crushing moment (pre covid) when I had to look in the mirror trying something on in Zara and their strip lighting was plain evil.