What's the best way to deal with married male colleague texting outside of work?

[PLAYJAJADINGDONG]

Not me btw. I would shut it down instantly but my friend is much "nicer" than I am.

She had a chat in person with this colleague during the week, just about generally struggling during covid etc and he was supportive. He then text her that night having got her number from a work group chat (he told her this) and tried to initiate further conversation. She replied once with minimal response, full stop + no kisses.

He text her again last night at 10.30pm saying he hoped she was ok 🙄 . She hasn't opened it (just read it in WhatsApp preview) and doesn't know what to do.

He's clearly fishing. She is not confrontational or forthright and doesn't want to cause any awkwardness (she hasn't, he's done 100% of that imo).

What should she do? Ignore? Reply again in minimal fashion? I really don't think she'd be comfortable in asking him to stop tbh as he hasn't actually said anything overtly inappropriate but men like this will see any sort of interaction as encouragement in my jaded opinion.

Work colleague?
Reply briefly in work time.
Be polite and answer his question but offer nothing more .

As above, just reply ‘yes thanks’ in office hours.

Btw op your user name is fantastic

I would suggest that she doesn’t reply. If she feels she must, to avoid awkwardness at work, she should wait until she’s next at work and send a short message like “All good thanks. Hope you and had a good weekend.”

Just ignore

I think if he’s got a genuine reason to think she may not be ok (you said he was supportive so I presume she’s having a hard tjme) she can reply next day some time saying she’s fine. Other than that ignore. I have some (single, I’m not) male colleagues who would text like this and I just reply “yes thanks” or “kind of you to check in, I’m fine thanks.” Some workplaces are encouraging colleagues to check on each other more so either he could be being nice, or feel he has an excuse to message.

Agree with the first three posters. I had this once (after spending a day together in a meeting room working on a report, bloke - married with young kids - texted me randomly on a Friday night). I didn't reply all weekend. Texted Monday morning during working hours and made sure I was never alone in a room with him again. He didn't text me again and kept it professional thereafter.

If this bloke does it again then she needs to tell a more senior female (preferably her line manager if her line manager is a woman). He should not be misusing a number given for work purposes to harass a female colleague outside work. I once had to manage out a team member (male, 40s) and after he left our placement student (age 20) told me he'd been catching the same bus as her every day, and harassing her via text constantly. I wish she'd have told me sooner; HR would have been able to sit him down and warn him off and I'd have been able to get rid more easily.

Thanks all.

I think either ignore or reply minimally in work hours are the best options.

I don't think it's her job to remind him that he's married with a new baby tbh.

Witch she wasn't confiding in him and she isn't going through anything specific. It was just a general, mutual chat about how strange and difficult life is at the minute. He's then chosen to try to continue the contact outside of work.

I may be cynical (I am) but I genuinely don't believe that any married man texting a younger, attractive female colleague at 10.30pm on a Friday night is acting 100% innocently and altruistically.

I don't believe it is innocent either. Replying in work hours, and if it persists, a comment that you keep work and home life separate. If you want a good reason, mental health could be an argument.