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Original poster

my 5 year old

19 replies

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 20:36

She hasn't played with another child since december 25th or gone anywhere other than a walk / the odd playground visit since december 25th either except to mil house when I had a medical appointment.
She is a only atm. Currently expecting dc2.
She keeps saying ' I am sad but I don't know why' and just is generally not herself.
Gets upset and angry easily but can't articulate why.
I don't know how to help. We've exhausted everything we can do. I don't even fight screen time anymore. What else is there to do ? :/
She was ok up until the last week or so.

OP posts:

Original poster

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 20:37

She had her first video call with her friends and teacher today since the lockdown started and I saw a side of her I haven't for ages.
She cried when we had to say goodbye. 😩☹️

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AdriannaP · 05/02/2021 20:38

Can you form a childcare bubble with another family and she can go there to play or you have their child round? She clearly needs to play with other children.
My DD is the same age and we have a childcare bubble. She is also an only child and desperately needs to play with other children.
Poor you - this lockdown is tough!

Original poster

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 20:41

I could just cry for her today. Just feel so sad .

I will try and reach out to some school mum's on a FB group but tbh no one ever replies to each other on there and I am not friends with any other parents.
I don't know anyone else with young kids that wouldn't require using public transport to get there as I don't drive and we don't live close

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AdriannaP · 05/02/2021 20:44

Do you have any neighbors with young kids? Anyone in your neighborhood? Do any of the school parents live close by?
You could also ask the teachers for help? Maybe arrange more zoom playdates?
do you have family members with small kids that you could form a bubble with? If you or DH arw a keyworker you could also ask for a couple of days school? I think your DD just needs some friends to play with.
I know it’s so hard. Big hug

N4ish · 05/02/2021 20:47

Can you bring her to a park or playground? She would be able to see other children there. Seems awful to think of a 5 year feeling this way.

Original poster

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 20:47

Neither are key workers.

No neighbours

We have cousins who are her age but we live a distance where we would need to use public transport.
We are out of catchment for school and no one ever engages with each other on a school FB group I'm on.

I might pop a email to the school next week :)

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Original poster

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 20:49

After this cold and icy snap this week I will make more effort with the park no matter how muddy etc it is.
I really didn't think she would be bothered by much by all this and it would be me who found it hard but feel like I could have a cry for her this evening

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Dustyhedge · 05/02/2021 20:51

As the weather gets better, there’ll be more children in the playgrounds or out and about more generally so hopefully that will help. My reception aged child suffered a lot during lockdown 1. We have a school place but I would have been very worried about her if she’d been isolated again. Can you speak to the school and say you’re worried?

Original poster

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 20:51

Its hard because my patience hasn't been the best this week.
She's just a little girl who can't really understand why everything is different/ what her emotions mean.
Feel awful. Feel like I'm making it all worse

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justasmalltownmum · 05/02/2021 20:53

I would message the school and say they need to fit in more regular class calls.

Maybe arrange some FaceTime between other kids in her class?

AdriannaP · 05/02/2021 20:56

You need to stop focusing on your feelings and focus how to make it better for your child. Yes you are sad too but you are the parent and need to take control here. You are the one that can improve things. Take her outside every day no matter the weather - playground, park, woods. Get warm socks, a hat, wellies and gloves and she will be fine.

Can the cousins come round to yours/meet you in the park/meet you halfway? Not one parent that you could whatsapp/ask?

N4ish · 05/02/2021 20:57

Hopefully the weather will warm up a bit after this weekend and you’ll be able to be out and about more. Playgrounds and parks have been a lifesaver for me during this lockdown and definitely help my DC to avoid isolation. Thank goodness they haven’t closed playgrounds this time (in my area at least).

londongirl12 · 05/02/2021 20:58

Take her to the park. Even my DS3 lights up when he sees other kids. Her mental well being is top priority. Put warm clothes on and get out there

user686233 · 05/02/2021 20:58

That's sad. I think take her to a playground at least every other day, it doesn't matter about mud if you have wellies and waterproofs. Sometimes mine will see a school friend at the playground by sheer luck and that really perks them up.

Original poster

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 21:11

Yes we bumped into a little girl from her class on a walk a couple of weeks ago
She absolutely lit up.

No no other parents to message. I know I need to suck my feelings up and make it better . I'm asking for help how to do that
No there mum won't walk halfway to meet us unfortunately. I would. It would be a 6 mile walk there and back for us in the freezing cold and then playing outside to.
All though at this point I think I'd be happy for her to go in there house TBH.

I also don't have any friends . Just family.

I am also on medication/having CBT for ongoing ocd/anxiety since last March to and unfortunately sometimes it's not as easy as to just ' suck it up '

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Original poster

higglepiggley · 05/02/2021 21:12

This was the first class call and it was only ten minutes long to

She was happy during it

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inquietant · 05/02/2021 21:15

When she says she is sad and doesn't know why, maybe help her express it. You could help her draw it or say things like ' lots of people are sad at the moment because we can't see friends'.

EduCated · 05/02/2021 21:18

Many Rainbow groups are running virtually - you could try enquiring about local groups? It would only be online but would be a group of children her age with activities to take part in and something to feel part of.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 05/02/2021 21:23

Honestly get outside if you can whatever the weather, dress accordingly- it’s not that bad, unless it’s been actually lashing down torrentially we’ve been at the park/playground every day (I’m a nanny, one same age as yours) yeah they run around with other kids and mix but the mental effects of then not doing so would be awful for them and me! I keep myself to myself though. I take a hot coffee in a travel cup and yeah sometimes I’d rather be curled up in the warm but ultimately it’s worth it for the kids.

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