I was going to put this in the step families section but then realised its a step parents topic.
I've seen many a step parent thread pop up and I always read with interest. But, and I'm wondering if I'm alone in this, but the step situations just seem a while apart from the step family situation I'm in.... but then I'm in my kid 30s... and I wondered if there where any adult step children with similar stories to mine.
My parents split when i was very small... 2or 3... so late 80s.
They sold the family home. Mum bought a 3 bed terrace, dad bought a flat. Within about 20 minutes of each other I guess.
We saw my dad every other weekend, we took a bag of clothes with us when we went... even took a toothbrush and hair brush. My brother and I shared a room. He is 5 years older.
My dad would give my mum some cash when he dropped us off on a Sunday.... around £20... sometimes nothing.
(Which I know paints my dad in bad light)
My mum had a boyfriend early on, he moved in at some point but moved out again... not sure how long he was around for, I adored him and was devastated when he left and never came back.
Eventually mum meet my step dad and we moved in with him and his 2 kids when I was around 10/11. His kids lived with him full time. They are older. I think when we moved in his daughter was about to leave for uni and his son was in secondary school.
My dad had also moved in with his girlfriend. That was prob when I was 5/6. She had 3 kids that lived with her. Again older. When we stayed we slept in the downstairs rooms. They are still together but never married.
My mum and step dad are still together.
So my step families have been in my life for many years.... but we are not in anyway shape or form.. close!
I don't ever call my step siblings, they don't call me.
I speak to my dad rarely to be honest but if I do call and his girlfriend answers we are pleasant but she will pass the phone to my dad. If we go to see my dad she will some times be there if she has nothing else to do.
I just spoke to my mum on FaceTime, and I realised that during all our FaceTime conversations during lockdown... of which there has been a few, my step dad has never popped on to say hello, how are you.
But he always comes when my mums visits and makes us feel welcome when we are their. He is also the one I call when we need diy help and advice... I don't call my dad! He had been the main male role model in my life I guess.
I see step siblings for family events such as birthdays etc but it's alway felt more like we are tolerated more then accepted.
I have no idea what the point of all this and I've rambled on more then I thought I would! So good work if you've got this far.
I guess I see the threads of step parents of today who have steps kids coming over in the week, 50/50 custody.
Kids have their own clothes and rooms
Shared holidays. Etc etc Which is all so far and way from my step family experience that I wondered if anyone else was the same?