My life is empty - please help me

[BuildMyLifeUp]

26, barely any friends and the friends I do have I'm drifting away from, single and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 19. I feel like I have just woken up to my life and it's been quite painful to realise how empty my life has become. I can honestly say I don't think I've been happy since I was around 18 (I know that sounds pathetic), and that is a long time to have felt unhappy.

I want to have children in the future but I'm realising the future is practically here... I'm now seeing friends/peers my age get engaged, married, buying homes and having children and I just feel so behind.

I feel too embarrassed to talk about this all with friends or family. It is quite painful.

Does anyone have any advice on how to build my life back up? I start a new job soon so that's something at least.

Has anyone been in a similar boat or have any advice?

Thank you

Do you know why you have drifted from the friends you have?

New job is a great opportunity to meet new people.

Sounds strange but how well do you know yourself? What do you like doing, what makes you happy? If nothing springs to mind, can you try some new things?

All in good time my dear
Pick a friend that you like and who likes you and stick to it
It's hard at the moment with covid we are all re-evaluating life, money, friendships, future plans.
Is there any potential partner you like?
Do you have a social life?
Gym membership et etc?
I think in general it's very depressing at the moment but it will hopefully change very soon

19 to 26 is a normal span to grow up and friendships to drift. The average span of friendship is 7 years, and most friends are those you share a lifestyle with. The soul friends that remain close through distance and changing life are much rarer.

It's hard at the moment, but it's a good time to think about interests and plan any kind of interest groups/ activities you could join to meet a wider group of people.

Thank you for the kind replies.

I'm not really sure why I drifted from friends, I guess in retrospect I should have made more effort to keep in touch. Throughout all my life I have always had a good group of friends and really close best friends who are more like sisters to me up until the last few years, when I finished university.

I don't really have a social life as I have moved a couple of times so at the moment I only have family nearby. I did have three close friends living here too but in the last 2-ish years they have all moved away for work.

I think leaving Uni can be a tough time socially as everyone is on with their own thing and it's so easy for relationships to drift, and compared to the ready made support networks you have at uni with people all your own age, it can feel lonely and isolated when you leave. This lasted for me for some time after I left - probably took me a couple of years at least to get myself sorted afterwards.

As a pp says it's even tougher at the moment when people have more time to to reassess and think about their lives etc. I felt a bit like you did I think.

But baby steps, again as a pp said work helps with meeting people and maybe OLD if that's something you might try. Also I don't know if you're on social media (except MN of course ) but from your post I think being on things like FB or insta might not be the best thing for your frame of mind right now - I quit for ages last year and felt great and really felt appreciative of all the things I like about my life and am grateful for. getting sucked into the unhealthy world of SM can make you feel like shit, especially if you are feeling low anyway.

Do you think you can reconnect with the friends you've drifted from? Personally I think it's harder to build new friendships with people who you have no history or connection with but it depends why the drifting happened.

People suggest gym membership, but I was a gym user for over 5 years and never spoke to a soul the whole time I was there, other than the receptionist.

Can you text your friends that have moved away and say you would love a catch up when covid is over? WhatsApp messages about your TV shows what you have had for dinner, funny stories etc etc