If you have a family member you have gone no contact with, do you live in fear they will find you?

[Fuckadoodledoooo]

Well live in fear is strong.

But I always have the horrible, nagging feeling they will pop up.

I have two family members that I cut out of my life around 20 years ago now. We don't have a large family, so it's not like we see the same people or anything.

I never want to see these people again. They were awful.

But a couple of years ago one tracked down my ex husband. Who took great glee in telling me. They basically re wrote history, said some horrible things about me. It was nasty - of course my ex read the whole message and the reply he said he sent which was basically agreeing. Even though I went NC when we were together and he was the one who helped me come to that decision after witnessing their behaviour on several occasions. I was very upset that he had engaged with them.

So he's the only link in the chain.

Although they have tried to use their teenage children to find my teenager on social media and sent messages, which my teen has shown me and blocked (he's 19 so knows what happened).

I still have it hanging over me that one day they will find me and I can't let it go.

I am NC with my sister, I do worry when my children get older she will try to find them on social media, she knows where I live and sent loads of Xmas presents at Christmas by post, they all went in the bin!

@Happycat1212

I am NC with my sister, I do worry when my children get older she will try to find them on social media, she knows where I live and sent loads of Xmas presents at Christmas by post, they all went in the bin!

See at least they don't know where I live. I've moved a few times. Well, unless my ex has told them. I wouldn't put it past him sadly.

I wanted to move so she wouldn’t know where I live, it’s a horrible feeling knowing they know where you are, sometimes I wonder if she will just turn up, it does sound like your ex is the type that would tell them. It’s a horrible thing to have hanging over you.

It really is. I don't want to have this hanging over me, or my eldest.

I'm not sure they know what my last name is now since I remarried, or the first names of my younger children so it's slim they could track me that way.

It's just always hanging over me and at the back of my mind.

It is harder to hide away these days 😶😖

Take control, get your power back.
If they turn up and won't go away call the police, which might lead to a non-molestation order against them.
I try not to live in fear and have thought about changing my name.
I'm not saying it's easy but they're kind of winning if you're living in fear so I've slowly tried to change my mindset.
They've no right to bother you, who ever they are.

It's hard because they haven't contacted me directly.

Just my ex who had a marvellous time slagging me off over email by his account, when he thought they were just as awful as I did, when he didn't hate me.

I'm NC with my bio dad. He left before I was born. He's daughter has found me on fb and sent messages trying to get to know each other. And what would technically be my cousin I was working with when a teenager. I had no idea until one shift he was like, I'm your cousin. Weird that he even know me to be honest. I don't live in fear but they're annoying.