Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My child is dumbing down ?

10 replies

Doimatter · 04/02/2021 21:30

I have a 4 and 5 year old . The 5 year old has possible autism. Diagnosis in a couple of week. He's also behinde academic/school wise. So he's working at a lower level. When he sings to me he does not use words . He kind of murmering loudly. Im not concerned.

So 4 year old does not have any special needs . But when he said he has a song he started murmering instead of using words. Also as an example if I show him the letter 'c' and ask him what sound it makes he say 'p'. But I know that he knows that's wrong. And he's copying his brother.

Any suggestions would be great.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 05/02/2021 13:46

Stop referring to mimicking his brother as "dumbing down" because his brother is so "dumb"?

Other than that I'd go with the "I can't understand you Humphrey, use your words" and don't engage in the game. If he gives the wrong letter just say no that's not right, try again, ok don't worry it's L not Z. Again don't play into the game.
However I'd suggest you also look at how much attention each child gets. He's either mimicking because he loves his bro and wants to be like him, or because he sees the attention bro gets from you that he doesn't and wants that - wether it's less attention or more, less pressure to do school work or more etc.

BogRollBOGOF · 05/02/2021 13:57

My 7yo is "regressing" for comfort. He's wanting easy, familar books for bedtime stories and is playing much more with cuddly toys. I'm happy to let him have this extra layer of comfort as he is struggling.

I do challenge him on the baby talk and remind him to use his words clearly. I genuinely struggle to hear him when he does it anyway. The irony is that he was an articulate toddler!

1:1 time is important. It's not normal to spend so much time only with your sibling, so giving them a bit more personal space is good for them. DH is in the house so I can take one out for a walk at a time, and that's good for conversation.

Crappyfridays7 · 05/02/2021 14:10

That’s a horrible phrase to use
Perhaps he’s just having a hard time with only his brother for company

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds 5 year olds Families SEN
NoKnit · 05/02/2021 17:11

At 4 does he even have the understanding that his brother is behind? Basing it on my youngest (5 in April) I don't think he could and I also don't think he would be smart enough to 'play it up' even if he did understand.

Also I'm not sure my son, at 4.5 would recognise the letters right every time. We live abroad though different school system and he isn't in formal school yet

IhateBoswell · 05/02/2021 17:44

“Dumbing down” 😤

Ignorant as fuck.

Original poster
Doimatter · 06/02/2021 16:14

Sorry I did not mean to cause offence with the word. I apologise I was not thinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
Doimatter · 06/02/2021 16:20

@NoKnit

At 4 does he even have the understanding that his brother is behind? Basing it on my youngest (5 in April) I don't think he could and I also don't think he would be smart enough to 'play it up' even if he did understand.

Also I'm not sure my son, at 4.5 would recognise the letters right every time. We live abroad though different school system and he isn't in formal school yet

No the 4 year old definitely does not under stand his brother has special needs. I was just saying about special needs as part of the explaining for the thread.
OP posts:
Original poster
Doimatter · 06/02/2021 16:22

@Crappyfridays7

That’s a horrible phrase to use Perhaps he’s just having a hard time with only his brother for company
Sorry I did not mean to offend with that phase I did not think.

He does not only have his brother for company. They are very close though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Doimatter · 06/02/2021 16:28

@BogRollBOGOF

My 7yo is "regressing" for comfort. He's wanting easy, familar books for bedtime stories and is playing much more with cuddly toys. I'm happy to let him have this extra layer of comfort as he is struggling.

I do challenge him on the baby talk and remind him to use his words clearly. I genuinely struggle to hear him when he does it anyway. The irony is that he was an articulate toddler!

1:1 time is important. It's not normal to spend so much time only with your sibling, so giving them a bit more personal space is good for them. DH is in the house so I can take one out for a walk at a time, and that's good for conversation.

That does make alot of sense. They do love being with each other. They follow each other all the time. But I guess they might not recognise they might need a little time apart. I might try a couple of small things like bathing separately. Get one to help make lunch then swap etc.
OP posts:
pensivepigeon · 06/02/2021 16:35

Maybe see if you can explore concepts of diversity with him. How everybody is different with different things they are good at and different things they find more challenging. How he needs to explore to see what he is good at and not just do what he sees other people doing. Look at stories and reflect and reinforce on real life examples as they occur.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page