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Original poster

Parents of small children - how do you manage “date night” right now?

34 replies

Absy · 03/02/2021 15:51

Hey,

I’m just trying to get ideas on how you can manage to hve date night / special couple time during lockdown if you have small kids. Pre-pandemic we would go out for dinner or to a movie, but at the moment the only “date” we had was NYE where we had a nice dinner at the dining table after the kids went to bed. Otherwise, we sometimes get takeaway but we normally eat it in front of the tv, zoned out. Is anyone else managing it? I just feel at the moment that we only ever work / look after children / do chores or watch TV completely exhausted.

OP posts:
Original poster
Absy · 03/02/2021 15:52

And we do have childcare, but only until 5pm (when we both have to work) and no family nearby to watch them while we go out

OP posts:
LincolnshireLassInLondon · 03/02/2021 16:00

We very occasionally do a nice lunch together on a work day. Just an hour when we're both free, something from Deliveroo and a posh soft drink. Not the height of romance but it still feels a treat!

LincolnshireLassInLondon · 03/02/2021 16:00

We are working from home though - not sure if you both are?

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Families
birdling · 03/02/2021 16:01

We don't. 😓

borageforager · 03/02/2021 16:02

Nope. We are either out at work, homeschooling or doing usual parenting crap. Drained.

BrowncoatWaffles · 03/02/2021 16:03

We get nice takeaway delivered that the kids don't like anyway. Sit at the table and eat it with a nice bottle of wine. We've watched a film together after (weirdly a new film feels more of an event than just watching telly). Tenet was good fun and gave us lots to talk about afterwards. Wonder Woman 84 was dross but at least we could moan about that together.

It's so hard.

ParkheadParadise · 03/02/2021 16:07

We went out a lot as a couple (pre-covid) feels like years and years ago now.
Now we have a takeaway and a couple of bottles of wine when dd is in bed.

Original poster
Absy · 03/02/2021 16:09

@LincolnshireLassInLondon

We are working from home though - not sure if you both are?
Yes, we’re also both WFH. DH now has the option to go into the office and I’m trying to encourage him. I love him, but with me WFh, homeschooling and a 3 year old it’s crowded and noisy.

I think the only option is to up our take away game. Pre pandemic we would sometimes go away for a couple of nights while the children stayed with my in laws. It meant that we were able to talk uninterrupted but I don’t know when we can do that again. It’s so hard but I really think we need to have some time as a couple, not just going through the daily grind

OP posts:
didireallysaythat · 03/02/2021 16:09

DS1 is 14 and we haven't had a date night yet. In a year or two I'll trust him to look after DS2... Never really considered getting a babysitter!

afrikat · 03/02/2021 16:10

We do date night every Friday and have since last April, I think its massively helped our relationship and we both really look forward to it. From around 4.30 we let the kids watch a movie and we get dressed up. Sit in a different room to the kids chatting, having a drink, maybe playing a game. Order a take away then DH puts kids to bed whilst I set table, light candles etc. Once kids asleep we eat, play more games, chat more. We never watch movies or have the TV on as we do that other nights and he always falls asleep. Some weeks we are tired and put pjs on around 10, other weeks we get rather tipsy and are dancing and singing at 2am (Saturday's are not much fun these weeks)

I love the excuse to dress up and because the rest of the week is an exhausting cycle of work, home school etc its the one time of the week that we really talk and it keeps us connected.

Comefromaway · 03/02/2021 16:11

Dd was 14 and Ds was 12 before we had a date night. It was a one off.

We currently have family night on a Friday. Chippy tea and watch Disney Plus or a film.

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 03/02/2021 16:14

We never really did date nights as such before lockdown as we did a lot together anyway.

But we will get a bottle of something nice (sometimes alcoholic, sometimes not) and then plan a nice meal we'd both like on a night DH is due to be in. With a pudding and some nice treats. And we decide what series or film were going to watch prior so it's not ages getting set up, both have to agree Grin Nothing special really but it works for us.

The other thing we've done is order from the local restaurant for collection. And we eat that at the table together, no phones.

InDubiousBattle · 03/02/2021 16:15

Every Friday or Saturday night I get a long hot bath and put on a bit of make up, get dressed up then we have a nice meal together after the kids have gone to bed. We listen to music and chat with wine. Not ideal but better than the same TV every night!

hiptobeasquare · 03/02/2021 16:16

We get the kids to bed and asleep by 7:30-8 (they are 3 and 5) then we have a takeaway meal just us and play board games or watch a film or commit to a series that is short like The Queen's Gambit.

mistletoeandsigh · 03/02/2021 16:16

My boyfriend isn't the father of my children, and sometimes when he's here my kids aren't. You'd think that would help, but no! It's still boring as fuck at the moment Sad Pre Covid we would go out to restaurants and pubs, do fun things. Now it's just us at home and although we try with nice dinners etc, it isn't the same. We love the atmosphere of being out.

Puddinger · 03/02/2021 16:17

Sometimes we hang up washing together and chat. Does that count?

mistletoeandsigh · 03/02/2021 16:18

OP, you could also try Gousto? It's fun cooking the meals in easy steps and interesting ingredients. I'm out off doing this with my boyfriend because he hates cooking together - enjoys it by himself. My ex and I used to love cooking together with music and messing about!

mistletoeandsigh · 03/02/2021 16:18

Sorry, put off not out off

TokyoSushi · 03/02/2021 16:19

Oh I used to love date nights, going out to fancy restaurants in the nearest big city, I can't wait for them to come back!

Just a takeaway or a film together now, but the good times will come again!

Original poster
Absy · 03/02/2021 16:20

@Puddinger

Sometimes we hang up washing together and chat. Does that count?
Who said romance was dead ... Grin
OP posts:
Littlefluffyclouds13 · 03/02/2021 16:23

I wish we did have young children!!!
Two older teens here, both of whom go to bed way later than us and are constantly in and out the living room, kitchen etc They love our company which I love but I do miss pre lockdown time to ourselves!

If we had younger dc, we'd pack them off to bed and have a nice meal, get tipsy and have sex without the constant fear of someone knocking on the door, or worse, hearing us!!!

Shelovesamystery · 03/02/2021 16:25

We've never had babysitters for date nights. Have a couple of people that might babysit for an event like a wedding or something but we couldn't ask them to have the kids for a date night. So we've always just cooked a nice meal/got a takeaway with a bottle of wine and watch a film after the kids are in bed. It works for us. If it's valentines day or our anniversary then we have starter and dessert too Grin

SimonJT · 03/02/2021 16:29

When he’s in bed, I’m lucky that he is a good sleeper and bedtime is generally easy.

Neither of us work Fridays, so when he was at school Friday was our date day.

BertieBotts · 03/02/2021 16:41

Lol, we have never done this :o

Stompythedinosaur · 03/02/2021 16:55

We have a drink and watch a film after bedtime - I thought this was pretty much par for the course at the moment.