Suddenly want an abortion, but I dont want one.

[yanyat]

So I'm around 8 weeks pregnant with my 2nd, ever since i found out at 4 weeks i've been so excited. I've been planning everything, making lists of what to buy, starting to save up, talking about baby names etc.

I woke up this morning suddenly feeling weird and anxious, couldnt put my finger on what was wrong and a thought popped in my head about having an abortion. What is wrong with me, is this hormones? prenatal depression? or am i a horrible person? I know deep down I couldn't have an abortion but something is telling me that I'm going to spend the next few years depressed if i continue my pregnancy. I've been overthinking about how i have accomplished nothing in life other than have my child.

I'm a single mum with 0 family around so I have nobody to talk to

I’m sure it’s hormones.
I had lots of thoughts of abortions but I didn’t.I’m talking loads.
I think it’s the worry and stress of how to cope with another baby.
You will able to do it !!!! I’ve always found that 2 children are easier than one as they have a buddy to play with. Also single children are very demanding with needing contact chat / playing with.
Go with your gut ! You have one child and the second will be loads easier for you to know what to do as you will of done it with your first,
Good luck xxxx

How was your first pregnancy/ birth? If it was traumatic maybe you are scared of a repeat experience.

Or the most common feeling I felt, are you scared how this new pregnancy will affect your first born? I used to worry so much for ds1, how was I going to divide my time/ love fairly between my children?
I have learnt love is infinite and you can love another child without the love of your first born getting reduced. In fact I’m more prouder of ds1 afterwards as I know he is a wonderful big brother to ds2. Yes, they argue and are competitive but when they display love towards each other it is wonderful.

Do you think you can name the most common thought that scares you the most? Being able to name my most common fear helped me. Not my biggest fear, just the one that came the most.

As a fellow single parent I know I would not have achieved a career with two children, the childcare would have been impossible and I'd have been stuck on benefits.
Think with your head and not your heart and weigh up what you really want, all of the pros and cons and act accordingly.
Good luck.

I think it’s hormones OP. Same happened to me, but I carried on because I knew I wanted the baby and now I have three kids. I’m a single mum too and though it’s hard I’m lucky that I’ve been able to keep my career going. If I had to live on benefits maybe my decision would be different. Do what’s best for you.

Thoughts like these are called intrusive thoughts and everybody has them to some degree. Hormones and anxiety in pregnancy and postnatally can cause a form of maternal OCD where the intrusive thoughts overwhelm you.

You can read more about it here: maternalocd.org/

Having these types of thoughts can be distressing but you are not going crazy or a 'bad' person and there is lots of help out there from mums who have experienced the same. You are not alone.

Mine were planned, much wanted and loved babies but around 8 weeks with both I was hit hard with ante natal depression and thought a lot about abortion.
It was easier with the second because I recognised the pattern of feelings and was more confident about riding it out. It felt like I was making a terrible mistake. It was only that it was in such contrast to my very definite plans before that point, that I could recognise that there was more going on.
Could it be something like that?

I considered it with all mine about that stage and with really bad morning sickness! I fought through it though and they are all here. I think it's hormones mixed with that apprehension on how things will change.

Could this not have been posted on pregnancy choices? Quite a lot of women here find this an extremely upsetting topic and have the pregnancy choices section hidden for a reason.