Work Stress...just need to vent and unload

[Youngatheart00]

I just need to get this out as I feel like I’m going to explode with stress. It’s also day 1 of my period and I am in agony so certainly not well equipped to deal with much at all, let alone the day I’ve had.

I work a relatively senior corporate job but I just feel like I’m not good enough and that I’m drowning. I started the role in April so I’ve never met any of my colleagues face to face and feel like I have no friends or allies to fall back on like I would in prior roles. There seems to be an expectation that we have to be relentlessly positive but because I’ve never had other colleagues to learn from or any of the informal ‘osmosis’ learning I’m realising a year in that I’ve got so many knowledge gaps and it feels too late to go cap in hand and say I don’t understand things. I’m also struggling with volume of competing demands. I just don’t know what to do. I want to take 2 weeks off and just lie in a dark room but then everything will just pile up further. I’ve spent another evening working but I’m so sick of peoples emails and the organisation just seems to unfriendly.

I feel so stupid, I’m supposed to be senior yet I feel useless and alone.

Just wanted to vent. Not sure how I’m supposed to chill out. Need to find some strong painkillers too.

No actual advice but just to say I hope it gets better.
Glad I came across this. I’ve been sat feeling very teary and down about myself tonight which isn’t like me at all..
I was also recruited into a specialist service, which has a high level of responsibility during the lockdown. It is short staffed as it’s difficult to recruit for the role.... quelle surprise.
Unfortunately it’s also multi agency work, so I haven’t been able to have the luxury of making an arsehole out of myself in private, it’s all beamed through teams to the other professionals who know their stuff .
I shut my laptop about half hour ago, and thought what the fuck did I actually do today.
I can’t name one thing other thing chase my tail while being on the verge of sheer panic, with the awful feeling I’m slightly lacking.
I could never understand why people hammer the wine after work. Now I can.
Commiserations and

It sounds really really sucky. It’s good that you’ve managed to book some time off. Is there anything else that you can do during the day to de stress? Like block time in your diary for a walk around the block?

On the mentor, I don’t necessarily think it would be seen as a bad thing. In addition to what PPs have said, you could also ask for someone who could help orientate you in the organisation. It has been nearly a year, but WFH during a pandemic that just makes everything harder, particularly building up organisational knowledge. Normally you’d be able to chat with people informally at the end of meetings / in the kitchen and that’s impossible right now. Maybe also try and have some informal “coffee chats” with various people to build up your network and gain confidence.

Also follow up again with your PA on your diary. It sounds like you need to be firm (for your own health) about boundaries, in terms of the use of your time and also in the scope of your role. If they’re trying to expand it unnecessarily (because it’s so vague) you should take a stand. I’ve had that advice from my therapist, and from a friend. What the friend said made sense - if you are firm with boundaries ironically work places can be more respectful of you as they see you as stronger.

Great advice from @JontyDoggle37