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Original poster

Anyone around for a hand hold?

29 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 03:42

Later this morning I'm going to have to hold my 4 month old daughter down while a woman cuts her tongue tie. She has gone down 2 centiles in weight and I don't know if we are too late to save breastfeeding her.

For 16 weeks I've been telling people she isnt right. We had TT checked for many times even by a private consultant when she was a month old
I wanted to take her to a lactation consultant but was told they weren't seeing people due to covid. This wasnt true and now I've got to one i worry its all too late.

My poor girl. I'm terrified about how this will go. I feel like I've let her down and we've been let down too.

OP posts:

WineInTheWillows · 02/02/2021 03:50

Hand hold here. I think they swaddle them to keep them still though, so you don't have to pin them to the table or anything. Not that that's much comfort, I'm sure.

Hopefully this sorts it out for you. I've known adoptive mothers of ten month olds be able to successfully breastfeed them, so with perseverance you should be able to breastfeed at least some of the time if that's what you want to do.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 03:54

Thanks. She will swaddle and I will have to hold because of her age.

OP posts:

WineInTheWillows · 02/02/2021 06:20

Bless you. That must be very tough.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Families

Cissyandflora · 02/02/2021 06:27

I hope it all goes well for you both. This might be where everything gets better. I know too well the awful feeling when we feel we’ve let our children down. You’ve persevered though and are getting the help. I hope all goes well for you both.

DayBath · 02/02/2021 06:41

When we had our sons done the nurses held him and sent us out the room, you could always ask them to do that for you? They immediately brought him to me to breast feed for comfort but he was having none of it. He wanted to let everyone in the hospital know about the injustice!! At the time I felt awful, but the moment we wheeled him into the outside air in the pushchair he immediately calmed down. My advice is a quick change of scenery or distraction, when you see how easily their minds are taken off it you realise it can't hurt that much after all!

Honestly it was fine, in hindsight I got myself more worked up than I needed to be and I felt the same as you. It wasn't easy to see him cry but I don't believe it feels like anything more than a quick pinch. Babies can be right drama llamas when it comes to pain, the slightest twinge and they scream their heads off. As long as you're prepared for some volume you will be fine.

Fingers crossed it works and baby starts feeding better, but don't feel pressured to breast feed if baby isn't thriving, just remember 'fed is best' no matter if it's formula or breast. Be strong!

Nix32 · 02/02/2021 06:45

My daughter had hers done and it was absolutely fine. Over in seconds. I fed her immediately and we were on our way home just minutes later. The thought of it is much worse than actually doing it. You'll be glad you did it.

WineInTheWillows · 02/02/2021 06:50

The NHS page is very reassuring. I'm sure you'll have read it, but I'll link just in case:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/tongue-tie/

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 07:30

Thanks. It's a private appointment at home so no nurse (waiting time was too long for NHS). They are concerned due to the age that indont het my supply back

OP posts:

Notthisnotthat · 02/02/2021 07:34

I was in the treatment room when they cut my DDs tongue tie, I swaddled her and then the nurse held her and someone else did the snipping. It was over in minutes and I fed her straight away.

Darkrainbow · 02/02/2021 07:38

After my daughters was done I sent my husband a photo (he's always quite worried about medical things). He thought it was a 'before' photo, no it was about 5mins after and we were already on our way home and happy. It was quick, it was easy & DD quite likes the story of how she had a procedure done so she can stick her tongue out and almost lick her nose. It will be fine.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 09:37

The consultant has warned me that it's going to be grim because of her age - I hope you are all right!

OP posts:

Loushome · 02/02/2021 09:59

Hand hold here, OP.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 02/02/2021 10:02

Had ours done at a week old but it was over in seconds, and the blessed relief of being able to feed her more than made up for the trauma. Good luck OP.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/02/2021 10:46

Ask if they have some sucrose to put on her dummy or give her a tiny bit from a syringe afterwards. It's absolutely brilliant for calming babies during painful procedures.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 11:37

Thanks, I'll ask her

OP posts:

WineInTheWillows · 02/02/2021 16:13

How did it go, @OhToBeASeahorse?

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 18:11

The actual cut was ok but she is very upset poor mite.
She said calpol for 48 hours.

OP posts:

memememe · 02/02/2021 19:20

glad its over with, its much harder at 4 months than when they are tiny. well done for persevering and getting it sorted, spend the next 2 days with loads of skin to skin and maybe make a little nest on the sofa or in bed and just feed feed feed. youll be ok and youll get your milk supply up.

Etherealhedgehog · 02/02/2021 19:32

Well done for getting through it. DD had hers done at 4 weeks and then 11 weeks as it had grown back and it was certainly much harder for me the second time round. Just a quick note re. supply - hopefully you'll be fine but if you find you are struggling you might want to do a bit of research and chat to your GP about taking domperidone. If demand has been low for this long due to tongue tie then skin to skin, babymoon etc may not be enough to get supply back up (though hopefully it will be). I would definitely not still be breastfeeding without it.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 19:47

@Etherealhedgehog thanks the GP gave me a prescription for it. 4.days of pumping and my boobs definitely feel fuller but I cant keep the pumping up indefinitely, Also taking fenugreek but not sure how effective that is. I have a 2 year old and it wouldnt be fair on him. Off to get her weighed tomorrow.

She has a high palate so I'm not sure if we will.win this fight

OP posts:

Etherealhedgehog · 02/02/2021 20:21

That's great that your GP is already on it, I think some are hesitant to prescribe. I had been frantically pumping pre-domperidone to try and get my supply up, which felt a bit like running to stay in one place. Since starting on domperidone I have actually stopped pumping and that seems to be fine, so you may not need to keep it up, though of course everyone is different so good to start with what you have been advised. Also, FWIW I thought 'fed is best' was just a nice sound bite until the first time I gave my chronically hungry baby a bottle of formula and she became like a different baby. Which is to say, if I could do it again I wouldn't have persisted with trying to make breastfeeding work for as long as I did. For me personally I don't think the benefits are worth all that we went through to finally get her well fed with low stress just in time for the end of the newborn period Which is a long-winded way of saying - I hope all your hard work to get to this point is rewarded and you find a feeding solution that works for you, but if that ends up involving less breastfeeding than you had initially hoped (or none), just remember that parenting is about SO much more than how we feed them - personally I found it difficult to keep that in mind, given how hard breastfeeding is pushed as the best/only/essential choice.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 20:35

Ah thanks so much. When I had my first baby someone very wise on MN said that in order to make a family work you have to think about total happiness - not just the individual. At the moment everything is geared around her feeding and that cant last. If that means combination feedingbir even full FF then so be i.
My GP had to google domperidone!!!

OP posts:

HelloDulling · 02/02/2021 20:43

Fenugreek capsules definitely helped me, but you do have to take a lot of them. Have you tried drinking fennel tea? Again, a lot of it. Make a pot and chug through it.

Original poster

OhToBeASeahorse · 02/02/2021 20:59

Taking 9x 500mg fenugreek a day

OP posts:

Handsnotwands · 02/02/2021 21:21

I’ve got a big ol tongue tie. Wish someone had done mine when I was a baby.

Wishing you well OP, in a few days this will be a distant memory x

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