Do nursery think DS has SEN?

[VinceNoirsShinyBoots]

Nursery have started doing what they call ‘STAR observations’ on DS with regards to his behaviour with other children. He’s 2. He can be rough and boisterous and we’re working really hard at home to remind him to use his ‘gentle hands’ and to be kind and helpful. For the most part he is. He just gets overexcited and silly. I’m not making up excuses for him but he’s 2, he’s not malicious or cruel. He thinks that the other children are his friends. If you ask him about a situation he’ll say ‘I snatched X’s toy because I wanted it’ or ‘I pushed X because he wouldn’t do X’. If he gets hyperactive at home and hurts one of us, he immediately takes himself to ‘the naughty step’. It seems to have no effect on him at all and he almost seems pleased to go. I’m not sure if that’s just because he’s too young to properly understand. He’s never been eager to please and totally knows his own mind. Language-wise he’s always been really advanced so it’s definitely not a case of not being able to express himself.

I’m starting to feel like they think I’m a really bad mum. I obviously don’t really get to see him interact with other children his age (DD is tiny and he’s very sweet with her). He can be a real handful at home but he’s full of energy rather than unkind or aggressive. I’ve googled ‘STAR observations’ and it all seems to be to do with SEND framework. I didn’t even realise his behaviour was particularly unusual. I am a shit mum, aren’t I?

He sounds like a 2 year old personally

My youngest who has sen acted nothing like yours at age 2 he couldn't communicate very well at all

STAR interventions can be used in SEN but the idea behind them also applies to challenging behaviour from NT children and many settings use them as a way of supporting children. It looks at what the behaviour was (e.g., hitting), what situation it occurred in, any triggers, and what the results of it were. It helps the staff identify any patterns so that they can pre-empt certain behaviours, for example with a young child who bites it can help staff to identify that Timmy bites when he is tired so they can be aware of the signs he is tired and then intervene to support him before he reaches the biting stage.

Sounds like he is acting and behaving as many his age do

Don't be afraid to ask the staff or raise your concerns with them xxx

why on earth would you think that you are a shit Mum?

Why on Earth would young girls with a level 3 at best suspect that?

Unless you're advised to seek psychological help then meh, sounds like a normal toddler to me.

Star analysis paperwork is used to try to unpick higher level behaviours to try to identify any triggers. Have you had a chat with the nursery about it? Talk to the Key Worker or senco.

Bottle - what young girls?

Why on Earth would young girls with a level 3 at best suspect that?

How is their age or qualification level relevant? Go on. Very intrigued by your reasoning here.

And I agree that it sounds like they're trying to identify triggers or problematic times like transitions. Have a word with them if you're worried but it sounds like a proactive nursery.

Yes, who are the "young girls " Bottle?!
Quite patronising that label. Nursery practitioners more often than not have many years of experience caring for and working with a massive range of children. The newly qualified staff are mentored by more experienced staff. When working and caring for children day in and day out for a long time, it does become very clear to those who have been in the profession long enough to notice children who are a little bit different developmentally in their social behaviours. OP, you say your ds is 2, when will he 3?
There is a massive difference in a just 2 year old and a child who is nearing 3.

Ok, I consider myself bollocked.

Sorry.

@xxlostxx he’s almost 29 months. He’s quite tall for his age and I do sometimes wonder if it’s easy for them to forget that he’s still quite young.

@Howshouldibehave I find it quite difficult to have more than a two minute chat due to the wearing a mask, quick handover at the door, covid rules. Maybe I should phone?

Well, they've got to do something, I'd have thought. The parents of the kids being pushed would expect that the kid doing the pushing is recieving some sort of support if it's a repeated behaviour. If they suspected SEND, they'd have told you- they can't just start interventions for SEND without having that conversation. Likely they are just using it because they think it'll help.

Chances are he doesn't have SEN. However if he did it is a very good thing to get it picked up early. My DS's nursery did and I will forever be grateful as it meant we could start putting support in place for school (teenager now). It was upsetting at the time though.

[quote VinceNoirsShinyBoots]@xxlostxx he’s almost 29 months. He’s quite tall for his age and I do sometimes wonder if it’s easy for them to forget that he’s still quite young.[/quote]
It's probably not that, it's that something needs to be done if possible. Chances are the other children he's doing it to are getting upset and if their parents know, they'll be asking what is being done which is fair enough.