Disappointment

[CracklinRose]

Many years ago, my wedding day. There was just me and dad waiting for the car to go to church. He never once told me I looked nice or the words I would expect a dad to say, absolutely nothing . This has stayed with me. Am I nuts?

My dad told me I looked very grown up

He wasn't one for compliments. But I know he loved me, so I try to forget about it. I don't believe he would ever have been deliberately cruel. He had had no proper upbringing himself and was just clueless but doing his best.

So really I think it comes down to your overall relationship. Do you feel he loves/loved you but just didn't think to say something nice? Or was he generally cruel? Because whether it is a big deal or not really depends on your overall relationship I think.

What was he like generally? If he was a loving dad who was just bad at compliments I’d try to accept it and move on. But if he was generally a cold hearted bastard I understand why that’s very hard to do.

My dad has never said the words you'd expect a dad to say.
They just aren't in him.
I wouldn't even THINK of him complimenting my appearance, even on my wedding day. And nor would he.
If he linked my arm, walked me down the aisle, and gave my hand a squeeze, I'd feel like the luckiest daughter in the world.

I can't remember what dad said... I was just glad my mother turnd up & wasn't extremely drunk already.

My dad said to me "you don't have to go through with this you know". I wished I had listened to him.

My Dad drove me (we had a very quiet cheap wedding) and he was very quiet hadn’t said anything about how I looked etc as we pulled closer to the register office - he drove past missing the turning on purpose asking me are you sure you want to do this! He found it hard to say much on my wedding day, he in his eyes was ‘giving ‘ his eldest daughter away and was I guess sad/worried about it. He was the same when I moved out very quiet - unlike him!
He didn’t loose me and we still all have a very close relationship - I bet he wishes less lol he still my go to if I need help etc
Depends as others said whether he would normally say something?

@saffire

My dad said to me "you don't have to go through with this you know". I wished I had listened to him.

Are you my sister? She had a messy divorce and told me years later that the only reason she went through with the wedding was because the invitations had already gone out and she didn't want to let people down. On the day my father told her it wasn't too late, but she went ahead anyway because she thought he didn't really mean it. To his credit, he never mentioned it again, and never said 'I told you so' even though he knew it would end in disaster. Which it did. Spectacularly.

Disclaimer : I don't really think you're my sister! But it sounds like your dad was clued in like mine was.

I've been married twice - my Dad didn't say anything about the way I looked on either occasion even though he gave me away at my first wedding and gave speeches at both.
I don't really care though - more his problem than mine. Loads of other people told me I looked lovely.

In fact he's never commented once in anything I've ever worn or how I look even though I get many compliments from other people so it must be him not me. He's 87 now do unlikely to change.

Years later I got divorced. He told me it was my fault because I was frigid😂😂😂

@wellthatsunusual

Disclaimer : I don't really think you're my sister! But it sounds like your dad was clued in like mine was.

Haha no I'm not.

But I know he didn't want me to get married. He didn't like my now ex. But I'd just had a baby and felt that I was trapped.

Sometimes, when a parent is worried for their child, a lack of excitement or not saying how beautiful you look, shows that they are concerned. I get that now.

Honestly, yes, OP, that is mad, especially if you got married a while ago. Had you been reading too many wedding magazines, that you thought your father’s lines had to be scripted to some Father of the Bride cliché?

I got married very casually with just two witnesses, but I know one SPAD friend and her dad argued about politics all the way to the church, and another friend and her dad stopped off for coffee at a drive-through.