Talk to me about your 3 year olds

[Dobedohdahdee]

My DD is nearly 3. I’ve always found parenting hard, and a few people have mentioned 3 as being the age when things start to get a bit easier.

Now I’m not completely daft, and I know there will always be challenges at every stage of parenting.

But is it fair to say that things change a bit for the better with a three year old than a 2 year old?

I’m hoping to lose the insane tantrums over absolutely nothing and I’m hoping to be able to not have to watch her every second (I’m talking about when I want to do something in another room for ten minutes.)

I’m also looking forward to not feeling anxious the whole time when we are out and about because she’s a runner and I’m constantly scared of her running into the road and not being able to grab her in time. Then having a wild tantrum if I try to put her in the buggy, use her walking reins.

Another thing at the moment is if I try to go out and leave her at home with her dad that leads to a massive tantrum and floods of tears which always puts a downer on ant me-time that I actually manage to get.

I’m struggling. Can anyone give me positive comments? (am genuinely struggling so not looking for “it gets better when they are 36 hahaha type comments thanks)

It does get better, less relentless. But it happens gradually so you turn around one day and realise you’ve had a wee without interruption! I think it is easier at three as have longer attention span - will watch tv/look at books for a few mins - not enough to be predictable but enough to bring hope!

Hi,

I could have wrote your post myself about 3 months ago! My little boy is turning 3 this week, and around December he started to get better behaved in all areas - less tantrums, holding my hand when we are out walking, and also being able to leave the room for more than 5 minutes/he will happily play while I get on with stuff.

Being able to go out on a nice walk and actually get stuff done around the house makes a difference so I totally get what you mean! It did suddenly seem to click in my boy one day so hopefully it may be soon for you too!

Following (I have a wilful 2.5 year old and feel your pain).

Oh god I hope so. My 2 year and 4 month old has made me cry today

Hi OP,
Yes absolutely. For me the turning point was 3. Really hard going till then: I lived for the naps. By 3 and a half I really started to enjoy her company - we’d go out for cafe dates and have a lovely time chattering. So I ruined it all by having another one who is now approaching the terrible twos. At least this time I’ve got my (now) lovely DD for company to roll my eyes with when DS flings himself on the floor in a screaming fit cos I won’t let him lick an electrical socket. Also she does a lot of the chasing for me too (I also have a runner).

I am very jealous of everyone's child here who has turned 3 and are now angels😭 mine has gone the opposite way. She basically skipped the terrible 2s and was great but then since she turned 3 a month ago shes an absolute terror. Hopefully itll be the opposite for you and since as yours has already been a terror she will turn into a peaceful, happy little being 😂❤

Going against the grain here but my 2 years old have all been lovely with few tantrums. All changed when they turned 3, with tears and tantrums along with a desire to do the opposite of anything I ask, stubborn etc. Dc3 is 3.5 and since November has gone from the most chilled out, barely any tantrum’s, independent, resilient and helpful kid to the opposite. My elder two were the same. For positivity it didn’t last long though.

I'd say 3 has been loads easier than 2. No more tantrums, they can explain things more, my dd will put her own shoes on/coat on etc so getting ready is easier, she plays more independently too so I can quickly wash up etc and she won't be pestering me. They seem to loose their "irrational brain" when they turn 3 😂 so much better!!!

@EllieRosesMammy I think you might be right. Both of mine were really ‘good’ (hate it when people say that) babies - slept well, not too fussy etc and then with both of them at around 18months some kind of hideous transformation took place and I had toddlers from hell. My neighbour today actually commented that she always knows when it’s bed time cos she can hear the tantrums through the wall . Maybe having a gritty three year old means that you’ll get a delightful teenager!

*grotty

Our 3yo would be a walk in the park if we didn't have a 7mo DD too.

His behaviour has drastically declined at home and we are struggling with it. Makes me miss the terrible 2's

Terrible two's
Troublesome 4's
My son's 5 now ( just ).... 2 and 3 years were horrendous it didn't get better until he was around 4... He was good :) then he hit 5 and it's like having a hormonal teenager in the house 🤣

Earphones in helped alot with the relentless tantrums !

I have three yr olds. I love it. The tantrums have gone and now I have amazing conversations with them and they are just not babies anymore (happy and sad about that part)!

They are all different. My second was a very easy baby but a terrible toddler. She definitely didn't get easier at 3! She is now 5 and a delight.
My third is nearly 3 now and has never caused me any bother. She could stay like this or get harder work, but she couldn't get much easier.
My first was the easiest baby ever and I think he got a bit harder with each year. He's 7 now and generally lovely but not as easygoing as he used to be. There is no telling.

My 3 year old boy (July) was absolutely lovely until around October. He is now so much naughtier and in many ways so much harder work than last year! He knows what he's not allowed to do but chooses to do it anyway and laughs at me when I tell him off 🥴 he has also never slept through yet!

Yep. My DS started with the terrible twos early and came out of them early too. He's an amazing, well behaved boy now (as well behaved as you can expect a 3 year old to be!) and honestly he was hard work when he was younger. Ran off into danger given half a chance, WILD in the shops and would never sit in the trolley, huge tantrums over the smallest thing. Now he's so helpful and good.

Thank you for the positive comments.

I generally noticed big changes every 6 months or so. You’re at the point I’m clinging to for my youngest who is nearly 2. I think between 3 and 31/2 my eldest became much more predicable, better at following instructions but could be a stroppy madam at home (we struggled with dropping the nap and it took a long time). I think it’s that change between when they’re 2 and could run in front of a car at any moment and when they hit the point where they are generally sensible and can be taken shopping without drama. Moving into the pre-school room made a difference. However, my eldest is now 4 and a total drama llama. Things will still set her off and she can be very unreasonable. It’s just that instead of tantrumming she’ll slam doors and say how mean I am.

You shouldn’t be too far off things being more civilised in lots of ways but your 3 year old will probably just continue to be unreasonable in a different way.

I also think they hit tantrums at different ages and for different reasons. My youngest has been full on tantrumimg since 18m whereas my oldest started at about 21/2. My youngest is definitely about frustration whereas my eldest’s was generally triggered by tiredness. My youngest is quite tenacious so if you say no, she’ll just keep trying and will tantrum to try and get what she wants and keep going and going. My eldest is much more prone to meltdown type outbursts and being overwhelmed and is quite quick to anger.