Partner, money, stuff!

[Jibberish24]

I have 2 questions. My partner and I are both students. I do my uni work and my partner just wanted the student loan when he realised he picked the wrong course-theres years in a row. Hes decided to start working.
I have 2 kids from previous partner and 1 with current partner.
I get 12k student loan 5k tax credits. He gets 12k student loan plus this month hes working.
The tax credit money goes on food and whatever kids need.
We go half on rent, half on nursery fees for our shared daughter, halfs on gas and elec but he forgets it's his turn often, he pays water I pay tv internet prime.
When I ask him about earnings he gets defensive and secretive, hes been working one month and I'm not sure whether to tell tax credits because he wont tell me how much he earns, he changes his mind about whether hes a student or working all the time, if we switch to universal credit this will be a 3k loss and u cant go back to tax credits once u switch, and since he wont tell me his earnings I expect me and kids wont know if hes playing fair with money if we do switch.
I like to do things right and properly, I feel uncomfortable not telling tax credits, but without wage information I cant. I do know hes just paid a thousand for some cushions, hes into sailing. Hes a spender I'm a saver. Hes a carpenter by trade.
So do I tell tax credits and also say I cant give them income details, or do i wait a few weeks and see if he flits to something else ? I feel like he puts us in uncomfortable positions alot, we got a water bill a year after living together that he said hed been paying and it turned out he wasnt, but now is.
Hes a good dad but just awful with money, any thoughts, advice ?

Hi, that’s very irresponsible of him. I know this sounds bad but I will suggest a separation from him. Do everything possible not to switch to universal credit. Those people are awful. You will be worst off with them. Sit your partner down and have a real talk with him, let him see the impact of his actions decisions towards the income. If he’s not gonna change. Then you’re left with no choice than to tell the tax credit which should be the legitimate thing to do from the beginning. My question is this: How do benefit people get to know about your maintenance loan if you don’t tell them? How do they usually find out? As far as I know, SFE says they don’t tell them.

He's not a good dad if he spends a thousand on cushions for a boat when you're a low income family.

Almost anything boat related is a complete money pit.

Does he come from a wealthy family and he has no idea about how normal families need to budget?

Sounds like money is always going to be a struggle while you're financially linked to him.

Your bang on the money barbraofseville, he does come from a wealthy family, one parent is a millionaire,but the other is now on benefit, he literally spends like a millionaire, it's like it's for show if that makes sense?
To cupofjj42 I had told tax credits about sfe, they disregard it that's why I assume sfe dont tell them?
I was starting to think the same, he needs to work through his own money issues. Since this post I found out he earnt ALOT more than I had assumed, turned out his trips to see family a few months before were him going to work!! I though he was seeing his dad!! So i asked him to move out, to get financial separation, to go back to dating eachother, as trust is now lost and i feel a fool.
I'm now going over to universal credit and awaiting assessment, so I dont have any worry over my shoulder, I didnt want to go over to uc but it seemed more sensible than being in turmoil over money especially with new finance info! I hope to be out of uc/tax credit system next year as I will have qualified teacher status so I'm hoping my income will be pretty ok as a teacher, I may save up and buy a small but cosy home-something the kids can inherit. Meanwhile mr secretive can take me out on dates for a change and I may consider living with him a few years in the future once hes shown he has sorted out his honesty and can budget better! Lets call it Pending!!
Also an upside to all this is I'm enjoying having the house to myself with the kids, it's like we have more quality time, it's less stress-and he was messier than all 3 kids put together!!
Thanks for your responses :-)

X

Very good decision. Sometimes separation is necessary for personal evaluation and hopefully love will spark again between you two. I mean you have a child Together. Btw Universal credit messed me up. I’m a student nurse and the SFE maintenance loan is calculated as income. They paid me half of what I was initially getting. I cried my eyes out. My friend vowed never to tell them about her SFE loan and it’s been 2 years they never found out. I was trying to be honest and end up on the receiving end. It really hurts. They come after everything you get. Lol

As a single parent you'll still get tax credits or uc or whatever on a teachers salary. I do. I was surprised, but I do. Sounds like your made a sensible choice but make sure he is paying maintenance.. Though sounds like he'll be tricky for cms to pin down to an amount. If you're amicable, maybe suggest a figure yourself.