Unsure if this is my fault

[Loopylou6]

A couple of years ago,I fell down the stairs and hurt myself., quite badly
DH continued drinking, even more heavily .
Lost his job, ended up in hospital, etc. Did alot more shady things to me.
Tonight he's told me, that because I fell, i caused this, and it's all my fault

I’m sorry @Loopylou6 but the real him won’t come back (if ever) until he is taking responsibility for his actions.

And he is nowhere near that.

I think you need support for yourself. You can’t just wait and hope he will become the man he was.

Thank you so very much for your replies. It really helps me to understand things. It's so hard in lockdown, I feel like im going crazy

He's conflating how his life changed due to his drinking with your accident because they happened at the same time. Severe alcoholism causes brain issues and he may not be capable of separating the two things, so he blames you because you had the accident at the time his drinking became dangerous. He can't think clearly. He won't "come back" without treatment for his alcoholism. There is nothing you can do and nothing you have done wrong. He needs professional help.

The real him can come back but only if he takes responsibility and joins a programme. I don’t have personal experience so realise There’s not much weight behind my comments, but I do know someone who is an entirely changed man after following the 12 step programme. He says he also used to blame anyone and everyone for anything that went wrong in his life. He is now full of love and gratitude for his ordinary life and all the people in it. He knows he needs to keep going with the programme and be conscious of himself and his actions every day, because he knows he is responsible, no one else. X

To be clear

You fell down the stairs
He had to stay home to care for you
Because of this he lost his job
He then started drinking more
He says it is all because you fell in the first place?

Look into sunken costs fallacy. You do not need to stay with him just because it's been a long time and you think the old him will "come back". Leave.