5 year old's behaviour has got so, so much worse in this lockdown. Tips or coping strategies please!

[Florencenotflo]

Dd is only just 5. She isn't going to school, is missing our (usually very close) family, her friends, her 'normal' activities. Just like every one else is.

Her behaviour in the last few weeks has become awful, to the point I am genuinely worried about her now. She is usually very happy, plays well with her little Sister. We have the usual boundary pushing and a bit of back chat here and there, but now it's another level.

The slightest request, like, don't snatch toys from your Sister results in screaming, crying, flouncing off to another room. And the worst one is she clenches her teeth/jaw, balls her fists and just kind of screams and shakes briefly. I've never seen her getting properly angry. Thankfully her anger isn't directed at anyone and she doesn't lash out or anything.

So far I've tried to ignore as much as I can until she has calmed down, offer lots of hugs and talking to her once she has calmed down. I don't throw consequences round while she is upset, it tends to escalate things so once she is calm I will then explain she has lost her tv time or a toy etc.

But what else do I do! I'm struggling, I'm working full time from home and trying to look after them both (and do some kind of home learning). DH is also working out of the home, but more than usual at the moment as they have a lot of staff off. I do my hours over 4 days, but I'm thinking of asking to drop another day so I have more time with her. That's easier said than done though, work is manic and I know I'll just end up stressed because I'll be behind. I've taken my foot off the pedal with the school work this week to see if that helped, but I didn't notice much of an improvement.

I don't even know that there is an answer to any of this.

Ds6 has been similar but become far more aggressive since this lockdown began. Will clench fists, screams in siblings faces over toy disagreements, threatens to physically hurt. I have never seen anger like it from him. He has on occasions made himself sick from rage.

Sorry I have no advice, I try and get him to take himself away from the situation, hold him, hug him as he is quite distressed (as are siblings). It takes a long time to calm and like you when calmer discuss consequences. School work is a major battleground, always has been so do what we can ( he is very behind though and he thinks he is rubbish at everything). He was similar in the first lockdown and had a lot of support when back from school and was his old self as we went into November.
I spoke to his teacher early last week and headteacher contacted on Friday to ask if we could send him back to class, felt it would help him and his siblings. (Sister is staying home). They have also suggested he writes a diary with pictures and words. Is there anyone you can talk to for advice or support?

We are seeing similar behaviour from DS(5), Year 1. He is an only child too which just makes his social isolation feel even worse.

Schoolwork was fast becoming a battle. He was so upset one day when the kids in school got up and starting dancing and singing at the end of the Zoom- I was so cross and think it is insensitive to all those stuck at home.

I spoke to his teacher last week because he is so disengaged and swings between angry outbursts and crying and so distressed. He hates the government for closing the schools and tells me “I can’t cope with this any longer” and “I don’t want to wake up in the mornings.”

His teacher said just do what you can following the timetable that they issue each week, but absolutely not to worry about not doing everything as it’s not worth his or my stress levels and upset. She is going to follow up with me this week to see how he is.

It’s heartbreaking and all I can do is comfort him, pick my battles with schoolwork and poor behaviour, and get him outside daily for exercise and a change of scenery. I take him to playgrounds as I’d like to think just being near other kids might help, but it doesn’t really.

Sorry I can’t offer much advice but you are not alone. Sadly, young children are just the collateral damage in this pandemic and we’ll be paying for this neglect for years to come.

My 6yo has highs and lows, some days he's absolutely chipper and other days there are tantrums and aggression. He treats his little bro like the enemy, it's incredibly hard to set positive sibling dynamics at the moment.

I honestly don't know what to do, it's just so hard for them to manage their emotions at this time. As parents we have little left to give after work and we have both dropped a day each and bubbled with a neighbour so really trying hard to give a bit more attention this time (last lockdown they spent 90% of time in front of the tv).

It's utterly shit! I think the suggestion of going into school is a good one, Ecocustard. We'be has the best success in buying tons of stuff, like craft, stickers, books. And signing up to a local veg box. Anything to add some sort of variety and off poss give them some control.

I have a soon to be five year old who has been volatile for over a year now and lockdown has made him much worse. He screams and hits and throws things. He’s smashed a TV with his toy which needed replacing, has given DP a black eye, damaged walls around the house. His anger really is off the hook.

I completed a parenting course which I think did help me with some strategies. We know that reacting with anger when he is angry just makes him worse. So we have to stay steely calm which is difficult when he’s hitting you and hitting you. Consequences are loss of things and Time Out. We follow the minutes per age and always try to give lots of praise when things are going well.

He does sometimes break my heart by calling himself a ‘naughty boy’ so I do make sure he understands that while his behaviour has been poor he is still a lovely little boy who mummy loves very much. Then he smothers me in kisses.

The frustrating thing is he is perfectly behaved at school, but not at home. So home schooling is really bad for us. The worst of both worlds.